Barbara Kay Doesn't Like Polyamorists

With Polycon underway and in the news, Barbara Kay at nationalpost.com decided write and let the world know that she thinks being polyamorous makes you immoral and promiscuous (and being promiscuous is very bad). However, she never bothers to cite exactly what is wrong with enjoying loving relationships or sex with more than one person. She probably doesn't care that some polyamorists will have fewer sexual partners over their lifetime than many people who claim to be monogamous.Should we be surprised that “polyamorists” — mixed-sex threesomes or foursomes in open “relationships” — have come out of the closet, clamouring for their slice of the matrimonial pie?No, you shouldn't. It's called treating adults as adults.I’m no Cassandra. But in...

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Posted in: Canada,coming out,freedom to marry,law,media,polyamory,prejudice,stigma,swinging

Barbara Kay Doesn't Like Polyamorists

With Polycon underway and in the news, Barbara Kay at nationalpost.com decided write and let the world know that she thinks being polyamorous makes you immoral and promiscuous (and being promiscuous is very bad). However, she never bothers to cite exactly what is wrong with enjoying loving relationships or sex with more than one person. She probably doesn't care that some polyamorists will have fewer sexual partners over their lifetime than many people who claim to be monogamous.Should we be surprised that “polyamorists” — mixed-sex threesomes or foursomes in open “relationships” — have come out of the closet, clamouring for their slice of the matrimonial pie?No, you shouldn't. It's called treating adults as adults.I’m no Cassandra. But in...

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Posted in: Canada,coming out,freedom to marry,law,media,polyamory,prejudice,stigma,swinging

Internet Real Estate Appraisals and Divorce

Ever look-up your home on one of the real estate databases like Zillow or Trulia?  Chances are, you'll find the values lower than you expected.  What's up with that?Being in the divorce industry, we here at the Law Blogger contract for dozens of real estate appraisals every year.  There are a few licensed real estate appraisers that most of us divorce lawyers know, trust and hire.Over the past few years, some divorce lawyers have strayed from the concept of having clients pay for an appraisal from a licensed real estate appraiser.  Most appraisers charge between $300 and $500 depending on when the appraisal needs to be completed.First, lawyers started relying on a basic "market analysis", usually performed via a realtor's...

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Posted in: divorce,divorce lawyer,real estate appraiser,Trulia,Zillow

Two Different Themes Lumped Together

Liana Maeby at hitfix.com appears to be keeping track of depictions or implications of "incest" on television, DVD, and cinema. I recently blogged about another listing she did, and here's her most recent listing.  (SPOILERS for Game of Thrones, Bates Motel, True Blood, The Last Days of Anne Boleyn, The Avengers 2 and Behind the Candelabra might be at that link and below.)  Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch The Avengers 2: Earlier this month, it was revealed that Marvel would be adding incestuous mutant twins Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch to the superhero sequel, and this week, Joss Whedon gave an interview about the controversial pair, stating: "They’re not there to make things easier. I’m not putting any characters...

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Posted in: brother-sister,consanguineous,father-son,incest,media,mother-son,prejudice,siblings,stigma

Two Different Themes Lumped Together

Liana Maeby at hitfix.com appears to be keeping track of depictions or implications of "incest" on television, DVD, and cinema. I recently blogged about another listing she did, and here's her most recent listing.  (SPOILERS for Game of Thrones, Bates Motel, True Blood, The Last Days of Anne Boleyn, The Avengers 2 and Behind the Candelabra might be at that link and below.)  Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch The Avengers 2: Earlier this month, it was revealed that Marvel would be adding incestuous mutant twins Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch to the superhero sequel, and this week, Joss Whedon gave an interview about the controversial pair, stating: "They’re not there to make things easier. I’m not putting any characters...

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Posted in: brother-sister,consanguineous,father-son,incest,media,mother-son,prejudice,siblings,stigma

More on Being Attracted to Family

Ken Eisold, PhD, wrote about something we covered earlier: recent evidence about being attracted to the appearance of family members that can manifest in our attraction to people who aren’t family members, but resemble family members.There is other evidence for this tendency -- as well as parallel perspectives. Neuroscientists now understand that the brain organizes input according to pre-existing categories. So the earlier experiences we all had with caregivers - those who were present and active in caring for us as children - become the templates for later relationships. That may be why, as Professor Fraley put it, we are drawn to others who resemble our kin.Psychoanalysts have called this tendency "transference," since it seems that attachments to earlier figures in our lives are transferred...

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Posted in: consanguineous,GSA,science

More on Being Attracted to Family

Ken Eisold, PhD, wrote about something we covered earlier: recent evidence about being attracted to the appearance of family members that can manifest in our attraction to people who aren’t family members, but resemble family members.There is other evidence for this tendency -- as well as parallel perspectives. Neuroscientists now understand that the brain organizes input according to pre-existing categories. So the earlier experiences we all had with caregivers - those who were present and active in caring for us as children - become the templates for later relationships. That may be why, as Professor Fraley put it, we are drawn to others who resemble our kin.Psychoanalysts have called this tendency "transference," since it seems that attachments to earlier figures in our lives are transferred...

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Posted in: consanguineous,GSA,science

CPAA Polycon Gets Coverage

Joseph Brean reported at nationalpost.com on Polycon, which is taking place in British Columbia this week. It is the first national conference in Canada, hosted by the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association. LYLE STAFFORD / Postmedia News file CPAA director Zoe Duff is in a “triad,” as she put it, living with two men for the past five years. They all date other people, but the triad is the core.Sessions at Polycon, as it is billed, focus on legal issues, networking, managing jealousy, “poly-feminism,” and a report based on interviews with both new and more experienced attendees of a polyamorous “sauna night” at a Toronto home.Sounds like a great conference. One session describes how to set up a “line family,” described by Richard...

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Posted in: boundaries,Canada,media,polyamory

CPAA Polycon Gets Coverage

Joseph Brean reported at nationalpost.com on Polycon, which is taking place in British Columbia this week. It is the first national conference in Canada, hosted by the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association. LYLE STAFFORD / Postmedia News file CPAA director Zoe Duff is in a “triad,” as she put it, living with two men for the past five years. They all date other people, but the triad is the core.Sessions at Polycon, as it is billed, focus on legal issues, networking, managing jealousy, “poly-feminism,” and a report based on interviews with both new and more experienced attendees of a polyamorous “sauna night” at a Toronto home.Sounds like a great conference. One session describes how to set up a “line family,” described by Richard...

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Posted in: boundaries,Canada,media,polyamory

Memorial Day Weekend

It is Memorial Day Weekend in the USA. Monday is a day that fallen military personnel are honored and remembered.Some of our fallen were LGBT, some were poly. Some were consanguinamorous. Until recently, none of them could be open about who they were or who they loved without dire consequences; only some of our LGBT military personnel have been able to come out thanks to the end of DADT. Yet along with the rest of their military brothers and sisters, they fought for freedom.So please let freedom ring.Someone should be able to serve no matter their sexual orientation or their relationships with consenting adults. And they should be able to have their marriages legalized, and certainly not punished for their relationsh...

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Posted in: marriage equality,USA

GSA Movie Planned

It sounds like a movie with Genetic Sexual Attraction as a plot element is in the works. At http://screendaily.com, Geoffrey Macnab reports...Maipo Films (the outfit behind Liv Ullmann’s Miss Julie) is pushing ahead with new incest drama Hjemlengsel and has attached newcomer Ine Wilman as star.Of course, "incest drama" can mean a movie about sexual assault or molestation, so I was wary, but I kept reading...Hjemlengsel is the story of an unhappily married dance instructor who discovers she has a brother. The problem arises when she falls in love with him.“It has some of the same tone as Happy Happy,” Hørsdal said.Sounds like GSA to me, and probably sounds very familiar to some people who have had experiences like this in their life. It will...

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Posted in: brother-sister,cheating,consanguineous,GSA,love,media,reunion

GSA Movie Planned

It sounds like a movie with Genetic Sexual Attraction as a plot element is in the works. At http://screendaily.com, Geoffrey Macnab reports...Maipo Films (the outfit behind Liv Ullmann’s Miss Julie) is pushing ahead with new incest drama Hjemlengsel and has attached newcomer Ine Wilman as star.Of course, "incest drama" can mean a movie about sexual assault or molestation, so I was wary, but I kept reading...Hjemlengsel is the story of an unhappily married dance instructor who discovers she has a brother. The problem arises when she falls in love with him.“It has some of the same tone as Happy Happy,” Hørsdal said.Sounds like GSA to me, and probably sounds very familiar to some people who have had experiences like this in their life. It will...

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Posted in: brother-sister,cheating,consanguineous,GSA,love,media,reunion

Driving Under the Influence of Medical Marijuana

The Medical Marijuana Act provides medical pot users with certain immunities relative to their use of marijuana.  Even a medical marijuana patient, however, cannot "medicate" while driving a vehicle, raising the question: just how much pot legally can be in the patient-driver's system?Earlier this week, the Michigan Supreme Court released a much-anticipated decision resolving a conflict in the Motor Vehicle Code and the Medical Marijuana Act here in Michigan.  In a unanimous per curiam opinion, issued without oral arguments, the Supreme Court held in People v Koon that a medical marijuana patient is legal to drive a vehicle, even with some THC in his blood.Rodney Koon was charged under the "zero tolerance" provision...

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Posted in: criminal defense lawyer,medical marijuana,Michigan Medical Marijuana Act,Michigan Motor Vehicle Code,Michigan Supreme Court,People v Koon,Rodney Koon

Taking Prejudice to a Whole New Level

Actors get typecast, or some people identify an actor with one role so much that it interferes with appreciating that actor in a different roles. Amanda Dobbins wrote a piece I found at vulture.com titled "The Divergent–Fault in Our Stars Fake Incest Problem" in which she has trouble accepting casting choices because two actors who played sibling characters in a trilogy will be playing unrelated characters in another production who, at some point, are "making out."We understand that these are made-up characters in a made-up movie and nothing untoward is actually happening, but still: This is a strange decision. Of all the possible teen actors (and there are so many, according to the fan blogs), why would you choose the one guy who is already...

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Posted in: consanguineous,media,prejudice,stigma

Taking Prejudice to a Whole New Level

Actors get typecast, or some people identify an actor with one role so much that it interferes with appreciating that actor in a different roles. Amanda Dobbins wrote a piece I found at vulture.com titled "The Divergent–Fault in Our Stars Fake Incest Problem" in which she has trouble accepting casting choices because two actors who played sibling characters in a trilogy will be playing unrelated characters in another production who, at some point, are "making out."We understand that these are made-up characters in a made-up movie and nothing untoward is actually happening, but still: This is a strange decision. Of all the possible teen actors (and there are so many, according to the fan blogs), why would you choose the one guy who is already...

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Posted in: consanguineous,media,prejudice,stigma

Harvey Milk Day

May 22 is Harvey Milk Day. In California, the day was established in 2009 by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.Milk was a politician who became the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California when he won a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Milk served almost 11 months in office,  passing an important gay rights ordinance for the city. On November 27, 1978, Milk and Mayor George Moscone were assassinated by Dan White, another city supervisor.We don't make progress in the fight for civil rights without courageous and motivated people like Harvey Mi...

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Posted in: California,LGBT,politicians

What Really Happened in Pender County North Carolina?

Something is rotten in North Carolina. What, exactly, remains to be seen. Something terrible has happened, but I'm not sure if it because some allegations are true or because they false.Christina Haley reported at portcitydaily.com several days ago... Detectives with the Pender County Sheriff’s Office are searching a father and daughter wanted for incest.That's how the article opens. Based on that alone, it sounds like they are wanted for consensual adult incest with each other, which shouldn't a be a crime in the first place. Robert Earley [address redacted] is charged with incest against a child who is 13, 14 or 15 years old and defendant is at least six years older than the child when the incest occurred, Detective Sgt. John Leatherwood...

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Posted in: breaking up homes,children,consanguineous,family reaction,father-daughter,incest,law,prosecution,stigma

What Really Happened in Pender County North Carolina?

Something is rotten in North Carolina. What, exactly, remains to be seen. Something terrible has happened, but I'm not sure if it because some allegations are true or because they false.Christina Haley reported at portcitydaily.com several days ago... Detectives with the Pender County Sheriff’s Office are searching a father and daughter wanted for incest.That's how the article opens. Based on that alone, it sounds like they are wanted for consensual adult incest with each other, which shouldn't a be a crime in the first place. Robert Earley [address redacted] is charged with incest against a child who is 13, 14 or 15 years old and defendant is at least six years older than the child when the incest occurred, Detective Sgt. John Leatherwood...

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Posted in: breaking up homes,children,consanguineous,family reaction,father-daughter,incest,law,prosecution,stigma

Coming Out as Polyamorous to Potential Partners

Anna Pulley, RedEye's sex columnist at redeyechicago.com, answered a question about coming out as poly to potential dates... I'm wondering when is the best time, and how, to tell a prospective dating person that you are in a polyamorous relationship. Obviously before any physicality, but in a more granular sense, when? Call, text, first date?--Poly Wanna AnswerUnless someone has met in forum or context that implies their relationship orientation, nobody should make assumptions either way. It should not be assumed that someone is monogamous or looking for monogamy, nor should it be assumed someone is polyamorous or looking for polyamory.The answer... There’s a delicate balance when you’re first dating someone of what to disclose and what not...

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Posted in: boundaries,coming out,polyamory

Minnesota Becomes 12th State to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes, becomes the 12th state to interpret the phrase, "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", to include the right to chose who you love and marry, same-sex inclusive.  Governor Mark Dayton signed the bill into law on the first business day following a 37-30 vote by the state senate in St. Paul late last week.When it looked like this bill would pass, many citizens from the state and region congregated near the capitol in celebratory anticipation of the law's passage.  Gay marriage activists and constitutional law scholars alike hail what appears to be significant momentum toward the legal recognition of gay marriage as an individual's civil right.Other supporters lament, however, that it will likely...

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Posted in: civil rights,Detroit,gay marriage,Governor Mark Dayton,Jesse Ventura,MN,same-sex marriage,St. Paul

Consanguinamory as Entertainment

Liana Maeby wrote at hitfix.com, providing spoilers galore about some television shows and other entertainment, including Bates Motel and The Borgias.I previously blogged about The Borgias with spoilers here. Credit: A&EWhen last we spoke of incest, rumors were circulating about the decades-long affair between Jaime and Cersei on "Game of Thrones" and Norma was inserting herself deeper and deeper into her son's life on "Bates Motel." Also, half of Iceland began taking precautionary measures to ensure they weren't accidentally banging their cousins. A whole week has gone by since then, and it has brought with it many more gifts of incestuous content. Here's all the latest on the last taboo.Collections like this are often presented...

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Posted in: consanguineous,media,stigma

Consanguinamory as Entertainment

Liana Maeby wrote at hitfix.com, providing spoilers galore about some television shows and other entertainment, including Bates Motel and The Borgias.I previously blogged about The Borgias with spoilers here. Credit: A&EWhen last we spoke of incest, rumors were circulating about the decades-long affair between Jaime and Cersei on "Game of Thrones" and Norma was inserting herself deeper and deeper into her son's life on "Bates Motel." Also, half of Iceland began taking precautionary measures to ensure they weren't accidentally banging their cousins. A whole week has gone by since then, and it has brought with it many more gifts of incestuous content. Here's all the latest on the last taboo.Collections like this are often presented...

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Posted in: consanguineous,media,stigma

Two Men Still Denied the Freedom to Marry

Slowly, the (limited) same-sex freedom to marry is being won in more states in the US, and in countries around the world. But there are gay couples who still face discrimination and a denial of their right to marry. This is one reason why we need full marriage equality.“Anonymous” is a gay man who would marry the love of his life, a bisexual man, if he could. But he can’t, because that man he’s sharing his life with is his brother.Here’s the interview. Some of the language is descriptive of sex.[This interview is  being bumped up on the blog in honor of more states adopting the limited same-gender freedom to marry.] ***Describe your family background.Anonymous: We grew up together. He’s my full, biological brother, two years older than...

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Posted in: bisexual,brother-brother,consanguineous,family reaction,incest,lack of equality harms,LGBT,love,open,polyamory,same-sex,siblings