KENYA: Pastors Burn HIV Medications After Declaring Patients Healed By Jesus

Pentecostal pastors in Kenya are charging HIV patients to burn their medications and then tell them they've been cured by the power of Jesus. Via the Washington Post:

The “cure” is not free, and some people say they shell out their life savings to receive a miracle blessing and quit taking the drugs. Margaret Lavonga attended a healing prayer service several years ago. She said she paid money for a prayer cure and nearly ended up dead after the pastor told her and others to stop taking their medicines. “We were very desperate after realizing we had been infected as young women,” she said. At the church, she was asked to pay the equivalent of $12 to be accepted for the healing ceremony and $24 at the end of the ceremony. The pastor then confiscated her drugs and those of four others and set them ablaze. The group was asked to undergo a test at a certain clinic in Nairobi, where they were all declared cured.

When the patients then get sick and die, the pastors say their faith wasn't strong enough.

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Posted in: disgusting,HIV/AIDS,Kenya,religion

Polyandry and Prejudice in Kenya

I'm not sure why this has become such big news. Two men love the same woman. They want a polyandrous marriage. What's the big deal? From npr.org...

Polygamy is fairly common in Kenya but one forthcoming marriage is turning that custom on its head. A Kenyan woman not wanting to choose between the two men she loves, decided she will marry both of them. The men have agreed, and the trio even signed a contract to "set boundaries and keep the peace."

This happens every day all over the world.

From bbc.co.uk...

The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears.

Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he loved the woman and said the contract would "set boundaries" and "keep the peace".

Lawyers said the "marriage" would only be recognised if they could prove polyandry - a woman having more than one husband - was part of their custom.

How about simply recognizing that adults should be free to marry each other?

Mr Mwendwa said her parents had given their blessing, while he is planning to pay the bride price.

The woman, a widow with two children, did not want to be named.

Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he did not marry the woman simply to satisfy his sexual desires but because he loved her and, most of all, her children.

The scrutiny has not been without cost. From standardmedia.co.ke comes this report from Willis Oketch..

A woman who was alleged to have been married to two men in Mombasa now wants to sue for damages over claims that her name has been tarnished.

And...

But one of the lovers, a 26 year-old man Mr Sylvester Mwenda who signed the agreement is believed to have been shown the door over unexplained circumstances.

Mr Mwenda admitted he was in love with the woman, he believes she was the only woman he loves and was ready to do anything to please her.

He explained that his love for the woman was so deep and was ready to do anything, including sharing her with another man.

How many other relationships are like this? Why is this news? What should be news is someone getting fired from their job for having a consensual adult relationship. From ntv.co.ke...

A man involved in a polyandrous relationship in Mombasa is now seeking help after losing his job and attracting condemnation from society. Sylvester Mwendwa is now seeking help from mens rights organisation, Maendeleo Ya Wanaume after his confession set him on a collision course with close friends and family. Brenda Wanga reports that despite the hue and cry that has come in the wake of that confession, Mwendwa says he would do it again. 

And finally, there's Safa Jinje's piece in theglobeandmail.com...

Polyandry – the practice of a woman having more than one mating partner at a time – is not as prevalent as polygyny, which is recognized in various patriarchal societies. Traditionally, polyandry has been found in egalitarian societies where fertile women are scarce, the result of a slanted ratio between men and women; or in societies where high male mortality or absenteeism rates create a higher demand for fathers.

 Why shouldn't a woman be free to marry two men, if all agree? There's no good reason.

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Posted in: Africa,coming out,freedom to marry,Kenya,love,media,polyandry,polygamy,prejudice

Polyandry and Prejudice in Kenya

I'm not sure why this has become such big news. Two men love the same woman. They want a polyandrous marriage. What's the big deal? From npr.org...

Polygamy is fairly common in Kenya but one forthcoming marriage is turning that custom on its head. A Kenyan woman not wanting to choose between the two men she loves, decided she will marry both of them. The men have agreed, and the trio even signed a contract to "set boundaries and keep the peace."

This happens every day all over the world.

From bbc.co.uk...

The agreement sets out a rota for Sylvester Mwendwa and Elijah Kimani to stay in her house and states they will both help raise any children she bears.

Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he loved the woman and said the contract would "set boundaries" and "keep the peace".

Lawyers said the "marriage" would only be recognised if they could prove polyandry - a woman having more than one husband - was part of their custom.

How about simply recognizing that adults should be free to marry each other?

Mr Mwendwa said her parents had given their blessing, while he is planning to pay the bride price.

The woman, a widow with two children, did not want to be named.

Mr Mwendwa told the BBC he did not marry the woman simply to satisfy his sexual desires but because he loved her and, most of all, her children.

The scrutiny has not been without cost. From standardmedia.co.ke comes this report from Willis Oketch..

A woman who was alleged to have been married to two men in Mombasa now wants to sue for damages over claims that her name has been tarnished.

And...

But one of the lovers, a 26 year-old man Mr Sylvester Mwenda who signed the agreement is believed to have been shown the door over unexplained circumstances.

Mr Mwenda admitted he was in love with the woman, he believes she was the only woman he loves and was ready to do anything to please her.

He explained that his love for the woman was so deep and was ready to do anything, including sharing her with another man.

How many other relationships are like this? Why is this news? What should be news is someone getting fired from their job for having a consensual adult relationship. From ntv.co.ke...

A man involved in a polyandrous relationship in Mombasa is now seeking help after losing his job and attracting condemnation from society. Sylvester Mwendwa is now seeking help from mens rights organisation, Maendeleo Ya Wanaume after his confession set him on a collision course with close friends and family. Brenda Wanga reports that despite the hue and cry that has come in the wake of that confession, Mwendwa says he would do it again. 

And finally, there's Safa Jinje's piece in theglobeandmail.com...

Polyandry – the practice of a woman having more than one mating partner at a time – is not as prevalent as polygyny, which is recognized in various patriarchal societies. Traditionally, polyandry has been found in egalitarian societies where fertile women are scarce, the result of a slanted ratio between men and women; or in societies where high male mortality or absenteeism rates create a higher demand for fathers.

 Why shouldn't a woman be free to marry two men, if all agree? There's no good reason.

Read more »

Posted in: Africa,coming out,freedom to marry,Kenya,love,media,polyandry,polygamy,prejudice

An Example of How Anti-Equality Hurts Bystanders

An advice column in Kenya, written by Phlip Kitoto, printed several letters, leading off with this one...

Hi Philip,

My wife is secretive and reserved. We got married three years ago. We have no children but she has had three miscarriages. When we were in college, my wife’s older brother used to send her love messages almost every night and this caused a lot of conflict between us.

She said her brother only wanted to ruin our relationship. The trend continued until I reported the issue to their mother, other brothers, and sister, after which he changed to late night calls.

What is surprising is that four years ago, my wife had a child with the brother who used to send her romantic messages. She only told me about the child in March of this year, but claimed that the boy’s father had died shortly after he was born

What should I do because her niece, who lives with us, has confirmed to me that the boy was fathered by my wife’s brother? The child is currently living with us and I am very stressed.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but tf the letter-writer had a problem with how his wife-to-be was handling the situation with her brother, the letter-writer should have broken it off with her, rather than complaining to everyone else in the family. That being said, it appears the woman involved married the letter-writer under false pretenses. Since others knew, the truth as bound to come out. Either the relationship between brother and sister was over, or it continues.

If it was over, she should have explained that and said that her brother was having a difficult time moving on. The letter-writer could either accept her past or move on. If he couldn't accept her past, it would be better if he did move on so that she could find someone who could accept her.

If it continues, as implied by the ongoing secrecy, the ideal thing would be to explain that it was still going on, and the letter-writer could have either accepted that he was going to be legally married to a woman whose heart would first belong to someone else, or moved on.

The problem is, the circumstances are not ideal. People face discrimination, bullying, even prosecution for being in consanguinamorous relationships. As a result, most people keep those relationships a secret from everyone or all but a handful of people, and sometimes other people are unknowingly used as "beards," as could be happening to this letter-writer. This also still happens with gays and lesbians living in places where they can't be open about their sexual orientation. If we simply supported the rights of an adult, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults, everyone would be better off.

So, while she married under false pretenses one way or another, I do not judge her because ridiculous prejudices and bigotries put her in a very difficult position.

Thankfully, the columnist did not tell the letter-writer to rat them out to law enforcement.

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Posted in: Africa,boundaries,brother-sister,cheating,children,consanguineous,family reaction,Kenya,lack of equality harms,siblings