A Pansexual Woman Denied Her Rights

By my count, this is the twenty-seventh ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are denied their fundamental right to marry. This one is with a beautiful Anonymous Woman who is polyamorous and consanguinamorous.

Read the interview below and ask yourself if there is one good reason her right to love the adults she does should be denied. There is some mildly graphic description of sexual activity.


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

Anonymous Woman: I work in the film and television inudstry. I have a degree in Cinematic Arts. I currently homeschool a few children that aren't mine. I would say I'm from a middle to upper class background. My dad is from Europe and my mom is from Central America. My brother is my only sibling. I'm 37, and fairly pansexual, meaning I don't really care what gender someone is. I am tall and fit.



FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?

I have never been married and have no children. I want to have kids.


FME: You currently live with…?

Currently, I live in my parents' house. I do not live with my parents because they decided to move to another city, but wanted to keep the house in the family not sell it.


FME: How would you describe your relationship orientation?

Right now, what I have is a relationship with three people, a trans male-to-female girlfriend, my brother, and my sister in law. We have all been together a couple of times and they have all been with each other. It is difficult to call it an actual polyamory relationship because except for my brother and sister-in-law we don't live in the same cities. I am not saying I want or expect this to be the relationship I have forever. I do think given my pansexual orientation and need for affection that a polyamorous relationship of some type would be best. I am really pansexual. I like both genders and I like male-to-female transsexuals.


FME: What kind of relationship did you and your brother have while growing up?

My brother and I never had sex while growing up. I did spy on his liaisons with girlfriends a little bit. But not until the last couple of years did we have a sexual relationship. We apparently both had these feelings about each other but never acted on them. Who initiated the triad was his wife, however, not him and not me.

FME: How did that happen?

It basically started one night when they were over at my old apartment because they were in town and needed some alone time, and my parents' house was crowded. I was spying on them having sex and I was naked and they caught me masturbating to them. We were somewhat embarrassed and apologized and laughed and everything being awkward, and then rather suddenly my sister in law drops to her knees and begins to perform oral sex on me. That is how it all started.

The way that sort of worked was that my brother first got involved with us just watching. But after a while we just started playing with each other as part of the process, and one thing lead to another and we were f---ing each other that same night.

I always was attracted to my brother, and frequently said if he wasn't married and wasn't my brother I'd probably want to be his girlfriend. But I had never really thought about acting on it.

FME: Describe your relationship now. Are you siblings, boyfriend/girlfriend? What about the sex?

It is complicated. I don't know how to describe it. It is some of the best sex I ever had. It can be kinky but it's not always kinky. Except for that little detail about me having sex with my brother, it would probably be a lot less kinky. We don't have sex all the time. Maybe only 5 or 6 of these situations a year and usually not all four or us at the same time. I know that people will assume we're meeting every weekend and doing absolutely bizarre things but it's not like that. We see each other and interact more as family than as any other role. Even with my girfriend it has become less unbridled sex and more planning to have a family.

FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature/history of your relationship and how did they find out? How have they reacted?

The polyamorous relationship is known about by some friends but is a complete secret to my parents. Their oldest daughter picked up that there is an occasional sexual relationship between me and her mother. The other kids do not now anything. The whole family understands I am bisexual. My parents are Catholic, and while they probably would rather see me meet a guy, they accepted that part of me. I used to be a drug addict do all kinds of illegal [stuff]. They managed to get me into recovery, and have been supportive of anything which is a legitimate lifestyle. They dread me falling back to being an addict more than any sexual orientation, and as long as I'm not selling myself they are okay with it. However, I do not think they would ever accept my brother and I as lovers.

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?

Here is a big advantage: several of us get to have several needs of ours satisified, including my girlfriend who, frankly, has a problem dealing with men but nonetheless has some attraction to them. We're all somewhat bisexual. We all love each other. It is safe... no diseases, no risks of violence, nothing like you would risk dating people you really don't know.


FME: Is this a closed group?

We are not closed, we are open to finding other people and are actually trying to do it, especially my girlfriend and I.

FME: Any plans for the future?

I made a decision for biological clock reasons to try to have a baby. My girfriend has offered to be the legal second parent for the kid and to use my brother as the sperm donor. There is the downside of slightly higher chances for birth defects but there is also a risk in that of waiting until my 40's or whenever I found a boyfriend. We're going to have a legal agreement drawn up stating that we are doing this so we cannot be charged with incest. There's laws against us f---ing each other but none against using a sibling for a sperm donor. An advantage of this is, we know where the DNA is coming from, in case a medical condition develops. And as well, when the question comes about as to how I had a baby artificially, we thought that having the "true parent" being her uncle than a total stranger would go over better.


FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?

Well, we're all well into adulthood and we all love each other. It is safe, and it is an extension of our love for one another. This is something that developed in adulthood. We're all over 35. It meets needs we have as bisexual people better than going out and trying to swing.


FME: What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other (and that you can’t truly consent?)

What can't we consent to? I'm not being blackmailed or extorted. I'm not being raped. I can say no. In fact, shortly after this first happened I DID say no. But I decided I didn't want to say no anymore.


FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

Yeah, if there was force or compulsion of any kind used in it.


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?

That's complicated. Firstly, I'm a political libertarian and don't believe the state should be involved in marriage. Then if we did do that we'd have to consider my parents and my brother's kids. We aren't anywhere near that kind of a decision though even if it were possible.


FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

Just don't try and shame people and make them feel guilty.


*****


There you have it. Consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, but who have to hide their love.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Anonymous Woman for doing this interview!

Read more »

Posted in: bisexual,brother-sister,consanguineous,family reaction,LGBT,love,open,PCM,polyamory,pregnancy,same-sex,siblings,triads

Polyamorous Consanguinamory in the Caribbean

By my count, this is the twentieth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied by prejudices from being open and honest about who they are and who they are to each other, even though these lovers have a spousal relationship.

Ed is a 22-year-old white male from the US state of Pennsylvania, living in the Caribbean. He has an older sister, Jamie, 25 and identical twin sisters, Megan and Stacey who are 20. His mother, Kara, is 41. They all live together. (All names have been changed to protect them from bigotry.) Ed’s family enjoys consanguinamorous polyamory. Ed is active on a certain Big Online Portal question-and-answer service, answering question from the perspective of his relationship experience.

Read this interview with an open mind and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.

(The language gets mildly explicit in a couple of places.)

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

ED: My father died when I was 4 so my sisters and I grew up with our mother with a substantial fortune he left us. We had a lot of freedom. My father died when the twins were 2 so my mom was busy with them and still worked.




FME: What is your sexual orientation and relationship orientation?

I am straight, but have never been married, however I consider myself in a permanently committed polygamous relationship similar to marriage.

FME: How did your familial relationships become consanguinamorous?

Jamie and I were able to play without supervision a lot, and she started experimenting with me. Our mom was ignorant of our games as far as we knew. It turns out, she did know, she just didn't know how to discuss sex with us. Before we found out mom knew, the twins wanted to "play" with us too. We let them join us and we all had a lot of fun showing them what we had learned so far. Stacey and I have a special connection.

The 4 of us continued all playing together and having sex together, until my mom "caught" us and said we shouldn't do that any more. Mom never really enforced her rule and we just thought we could go on like we were forever. This was our thing we had going, and since we were sharing a room it wasn't about to change.

Mom made the twins and I switch rooms, so I was alone and the girls shared, but that didn't stop my drive. In fact, when I was cuddling with my mother in the evenings, I would try to get somewhere and eventually she would let me make little advances, and then we got further and further. I think at that point she had become almost desperate for physical attention from a male that she was really enjoying the attention I gave her.

Granted, I still did what I could with my sisters some times, but having my own room I targeted the closest access to sexual attention that I had. It was strange at the time because mom would accept what we did at night, but never acknowledge it during the day or around the girls at first. But then she opened up a lot. I finally got her to let me penetrate her and I went crazy with anxiety. I think it was the most intense orgasm I’d had to that day. The first time I had sex with her is something I would never forget.

Over a couple of months I guess mom became more and more accustomed to the idea of what we had been doing. She got braver and would do things with me during the day on the weekends. She would let me spend more time in my sister's room and even encouraged us all to stay nude at home pretty much all the time.

I got Jamie pregnant. We never had to say that it was my baby, but both of us wanted to try and raise her with mom's help. However, Mom thought it best to have an adoption. Thankfully a couple in the Caribbean was ready to adopt and keep our secret. Our daughter's adoptive parents know who we are, but don't reveal our true secret to her and now we live down the street from them as "friends of the family".

Jamie ended up dating after she delivered our daughter. She got pregnant by another guy and married him, but the marriage didn’t last. Then I got Mom pregnant. This was easy enough to pass off to others as the result of a one night stand, and we kept her.

Did you think any of this was wrong? Do you feel it is taboo or kinky?

I don't think I ever felt adverse to the actions any of us took. For me, growing up the way I did with my sister, sexual games were just a normal yet exciting, fun thing.

I have always thought of us as so completely natural, however, there have been a lot of times when I think about the social taboo of it all which makes it very kinky. Usually though, there is nothing taboo to us.

The other kinks involved would probably be the fact that we have sex as a group.

How do you and your siblings and mother see each other? As lovers, as siblings, as mother and son, or what?

We cannot separate our relationships as siblings or mother/son from our sexual relationships at this point.  It is just something that goes hand in hand.


Does anyone else know the full nature of your relationships, and if so, how have they reacted? Do you act as lovers in public?

A few of Stacey's friends found out about us once, but those rumors were squashed quickly. My maternal grandmother knows about our lives a little and disapproves, but she has been out of touch for a while.

Unfortunately, we were not able to act like a couple in public. That used to upset us, but we knew how people reacted to it. We all accepted that it was for the best that we kept our secrets at home.

Most people today know each of us as a couple. In public we live as though Stacey and I are lovers, mom is Stacy's mom and Meg lives with them, and Jamie is a roommate. Almost as if Jamie and I are not part of the family. The only steps we really have had to take is with Ashley's adoption, putting down rumors of Stacey and I and then moving to the island together.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of your relationships?

We completely understand the social dynamic we face. We have always accepted that the relationships we have will not be accepted in the modern world and we can be happy without publicizing our love. It is between us, not the rest of the world, but we are happy to share with those who will not be harshly judgemental.

On the other hand, the advantages we have as being siblings is that we have years of experience together. We are inseparable from each other. The same with mom. I couldn't imagine having the connection with another partner that I have with her. She knows every inch of my body and she knows exactly how to care for it in every way. I do everything I can to keep them happy as the only male lover, and they all treat each other the same way as lovers.


What do you want to say to those who don’t approve?

To those who don't approve: Get over it. It is not your business. We love with the same feelings, just with people you usually wouldn't do it with. We are not asking you to recognize us as "married" just don't tell us we are horrible and disgusting because you don't understand. Everyone has their perfect partners, and we found ours right at home.

There is no reason to interpret this multi -person relationship as "wrong". We care for and love each other, til the ends of the earth. We protect each other like family and care for each other as lovers. It is the best of both worlds.

The only time these relationships are wrong is when a person is forced or coerced. Any person consenting to sex should be completely informed. People should be able to know what the possible consequences are to their actions and know that having a child is not a short term situation. Education is the key. However, having a child is an amazing experience and worth every minute.


Speaking of children, how are the children?

The kids are perfectly healthy, and very smart. We actually had blood work done a couple years back. As far as we could tell, we don't have any detrimental recessive traits.


What advice do you have for others who might be entering into a situation like this?

I strongly suggest talking these things out. I would not change my life for the world, however, I have seen a lot of people react negatively to sexual activity between family members. The most important thing to remember is, even if you do not continue the relationship sexually, it's not anything to be ashamed of or guilty about. It is just another event in your life that made you who you are. It can be wonderful to know your sibling or even parent that way, but you must make the call together, equally. That is how any relationship should work.


What do you want to say to those who don’t believe this is a real situation?

Those who don't want to believe our situation is real are free to think what they want. It's probably best for someone like that to disbelieve than to take it seriously and try to report my mom for her involvement. So I am comfortable with not being believed.



Any plans for the future?

My sisters all want to have children, and my mom has considered 1 more, but she is running out of time. I don't know what else the future will bring, but it looks exciting.


*****


There you have it. Consenting adults who but should be free to pursue their relationship, whatever form it will take.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later, so that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage any and all consenting adults. Real people are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here, including my interview with the polyamorous consanguinamorous marriage that originally inspired me to blog.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Ed for providing this look into the love he shares.

Read more »

Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,brother-sister,children,consanguineous,family reaction,group,love,mother-son,PCM,polyamory,polygyny,pregnancy,same-sex,sister-sister

Polyamorous Consanguinamory in the Caribbean

By my count, this is the twentieth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied by prejudices from being open and honest about who they are and who they are to each other, even though these lovers have a spousal relationship.

Ed is a 22-year-old white male from the US state of Pennsylvania, living in the Caribbean. He has an older sister, Jamie, 25 and identical twin sisters, Megan and Stacey who are 20. His mother, Kara, is 41. They all live together. (All names have been changed to protect them from bigotry.) Ed’s family enjoys consanguinamorous polyamory. Ed is active on a certain Big Online Portal question-and-answer service, answering question from the perspective of his relationship experience.

Read this interview with an open mind and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.

(The language gets mildly explicit in a couple of places.)

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

ED: My father died when I was 4 so my sisters and I grew up with our mother with a substantial fortune he left us. We had a lot of freedom. My father died when the twins were 2 so my mom was busy with them and still worked.




FME: What is your sexual orientation and relationship orientation?

I am straight, but have never been married, however I consider myself in a permanently committed polygamous relationship similar to marriage.

FME: How did your familial relationships become consanguinamorous?

Jamie and I were able to play without supervision a lot, and she started experimenting with me. Our mom was ignorant of our games as far as we knew. It turns out, she did know, she just didn't know how to discuss sex with us. Before we found out mom knew, the twins wanted to "play" with us too. We let them join us and we all had a lot of fun showing them what we had learned so far. Stacey and I have a special connection.

The 4 of us continued all playing together and having sex together, until my mom "caught" us and said we shouldn't do that any more. Mom never really enforced her rule and we just thought we could go on like we were forever. This was our thing we had going, and since we were sharing a room it wasn't about to change.

Mom made the twins and I switch rooms, so I was alone and the girls shared, but that didn't stop my drive. In fact, when I was cuddling with my mother in the evenings, I would try to get somewhere and eventually she would let me make little advances, and then we got further and further. I think at that point she had become almost desperate for physical attention from a male that she was really enjoying the attention I gave her.

Granted, I still did what I could with my sisters some times, but having my own room I targeted the closest access to sexual attention that I had. It was strange at the time because mom would accept what we did at night, but never acknowledge it during the day or around the girls at first. But then she opened up a lot. I finally got her to let me penetrate her and I went crazy with anxiety. I think it was the most intense orgasm I’d had to that day. The first time I had sex with her is something I would never forget.

Over a couple of months I guess mom became more and more accustomed to the idea of what we had been doing. She got braver and would do things with me during the day on the weekends. She would let me spend more time in my sister's room and even encouraged us all to stay nude at home pretty much all the time.

I got Jamie pregnant. We never had to say that it was my baby, but both of us wanted to try and raise her with mom's help. However, Mom thought it best to have an adoption. Thankfully a couple in the Caribbean was ready to adopt and keep our secret. Our daughter's adoptive parents know who we are, but don't reveal our true secret to her and now we live down the street from them as "friends of the family".

Jamie ended up dating after she delivered our daughter. She got pregnant by another guy and married him, but the marriage didn’t last. Then I got Mom pregnant. This was easy enough to pass off to others as the result of a one night stand, and we kept her.

Did you think any of this was wrong? Do you feel it is taboo or kinky?

I don't think I ever felt adverse to the actions any of us took. For me, growing up the way I did with my sister, sexual games were just a normal yet exciting, fun thing.

I have always thought of us as so completely natural, however, there have been a lot of times when I think about the social taboo of it all which makes it very kinky. Usually though, there is nothing taboo to us.

The other kinks involved would probably be the fact that we have sex as a group.

How do you and your siblings and mother see each other? As lovers, as siblings, as mother and son, or what?

We cannot separate our relationships as siblings or mother/son from our sexual relationships at this point.  It is just something that goes hand in hand.


Does anyone else know the full nature of your relationships, and if so, how have they reacted? Do you act as lovers in public?

A few of Stacey's friends found out about us once, but those rumors were squashed quickly. My maternal grandmother knows about our lives a little and disapproves, but she has been out of touch for a while.

Unfortunately, we were not able to act like a couple in public. That used to upset us, but we knew how people reacted to it. We all accepted that it was for the best that we kept our secrets at home.

Most people today know each of us as a couple. In public we live as though Stacey and I are lovers, mom is Stacy's mom and Meg lives with them, and Jamie is a roommate. Almost as if Jamie and I are not part of the family. The only steps we really have had to take is with Ashley's adoption, putting down rumors of Stacey and I and then moving to the island together.


What are the advantages and disadvantages of your relationships?

We completely understand the social dynamic we face. We have always accepted that the relationships we have will not be accepted in the modern world and we can be happy without publicizing our love. It is between us, not the rest of the world, but we are happy to share with those who will not be harshly judgemental.

On the other hand, the advantages we have as being siblings is that we have years of experience together. We are inseparable from each other. The same with mom. I couldn't imagine having the connection with another partner that I have with her. She knows every inch of my body and she knows exactly how to care for it in every way. I do everything I can to keep them happy as the only male lover, and they all treat each other the same way as lovers.


What do you want to say to those who don’t approve?

To those who don't approve: Get over it. It is not your business. We love with the same feelings, just with people you usually wouldn't do it with. We are not asking you to recognize us as "married" just don't tell us we are horrible and disgusting because you don't understand. Everyone has their perfect partners, and we found ours right at home.

There is no reason to interpret this multi -person relationship as "wrong". We care for and love each other, til the ends of the earth. We protect each other like family and care for each other as lovers. It is the best of both worlds.

The only time these relationships are wrong is when a person is forced or coerced. Any person consenting to sex should be completely informed. People should be able to know what the possible consequences are to their actions and know that having a child is not a short term situation. Education is the key. However, having a child is an amazing experience and worth every minute.


Speaking of children, how are the children?

The kids are perfectly healthy, and very smart. We actually had blood work done a couple years back. As far as we could tell, we don't have any detrimental recessive traits.


What advice do you have for others who might be entering into a situation like this?

I strongly suggest talking these things out. I would not change my life for the world, however, I have seen a lot of people react negatively to sexual activity between family members. The most important thing to remember is, even if you do not continue the relationship sexually, it's not anything to be ashamed of or guilty about. It is just another event in your life that made you who you are. It can be wonderful to know your sibling or even parent that way, but you must make the call together, equally. That is how any relationship should work.


What do you want to say to those who don’t believe this is a real situation?

Those who don't want to believe our situation is real are free to think what they want. It's probably best for someone like that to disbelieve than to take it seriously and try to report my mom for her involvement. So I am comfortable with not being believed.



Any plans for the future?

My sisters all want to have children, and my mom has considered 1 more, but she is running out of time. I don't know what else the future will bring, but it looks exciting.


*****


There you have it. Consenting adults who but should be free to pursue their relationship, whatever form it will take.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later, so that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage any and all consenting adults. Real people are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here, including my interview with the polyamorous consanguinamorous marriage that originally inspired me to blog.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Ed for providing this look into the love he shares.

Read more »

Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,brother-sister,children,consanguineous,family reaction,group,love,mother-son,PCM,polyamory,polygyny,pregnancy,same-sex,sister-sister