Step-Parent Adoption Goes to the Michigan Supreme Court

By: Timothy P. Flynn

Sometimes, in the post-judgment phase of a divorcee's life, things can go haywire.  The divorce process can push good parents "off-the-grid".

There is a statute in Michigan that provides for the termination of a divorcee's parental rights if that parent neglects to pay child support and fails to communicate with the children for two years.  For this to occur, the other parent must re-marry and the new spouse must petition for the termination of parental rights as part of a step-parent adoption proceeding.

In a case just recently accepted for briefing and argument by the Michigan Supreme Court, the concept of legal custody within the context of the step-parent adoption statute will be decided.  It could come down to the High Court's interpretation of how the legislature used the words, "a" and "the".

The Kent County case, In Re: ARJ, takes a look at whether the re-married parent must have sole legal custody in order for the step-parent adoption petition to be granted.  The case is significant to the extent that it will interpret this important statute as well as possibly provide additional meaning to the phrase "legal custody"; a phrase over which many a battle have been fought in the family courts throughout Michigan over the decades.

The Kent County Family Court terminated the father's rights after a two day trial.  This termination was reversed by the Michigan Court of Appeals which basically held that the parental termination was done in error because both parents had joint legal custody.

So here we have a parent that has basically disappeared for the requisite two years  -no support, no contact-  but who clings to his parental rights through the label in the judgment of divorce awarding him joint legal custody.

In its order granting leave to appeal the Court of Appeals' decision, the Supreme Court specifically identified one of the issues to be briefed, argued and decided as:

Whether the phrase 'legal custody' in [the step-parent adoption statute] is synonymous with the concept of joint custody in the Child Custody Act, whereby 'the parents share decision-making authority as to the important decisions affecting the welfare of the child...

Our High Court also expressly invited the State Bar of Michigan's Family Law Section and the Michigan Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers to file amicus curiae briefs in the case.

Stay tuned to see how the Michigan Supreme Court interprets this crucial phrase; we will track the case for you.  The decision will likely have important implications for divorce proceedings that involve the custody of minor children.

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Posted in: child custody,family court,family law,Michigan Court of Appeals,Michigan Supreme Court,step-parent adoption

300th Blog Post - Thank You Readers

We here at the Law Blogger [the attorneys of Clarkston Legal, also known as Karlstrom Cooney] would like to thank our loyal readers and those that follow this blog.

This is our 300th post.  Three hundred: a perfect game in bowling; an excellent batting average in the bigs; the length of Noah's Arc, in cubits, and one of this blogger's favorite movies.

We started this blog with our first post back on March 30, 2009, on the topic of a lesbian couple litigating their right to adopt a child here in Michigan.

In the four years that we've been up and running with the Oakland Press, there have been almost 160,000 page views and we've received 438 published comments.  Minor league stats in the overall blogosphere, but hopefully relevant to our local readers.

In these years we have attempted to post interesting law-related information that our readers find useful and informative.  Some of the more important topics we've covered in our posts include:

• cell phone use and texting while driving, especially where teenagers are concerned;
• the "Superdrunk" driving law;
• same-sex marriage cases from their initial filings through the recent oral arguments at SCOTUS;
• privacy laws in the Big Data era;
• Second Amendment cases at SCOTUS;
• Obamacare at SCOTUS and now that the new laws are scheduled to take effect in the workplace;
• divorce and family law developments, especially child custody matters;
• the juvenile lifer laws recently decided by SCOTUS;
• significant developments in the criminal law; and
• occasionally, high-profile cases and local personalities that have intersected with the legal system or criminal justice system.

Before we begin work on our next 300 posts, we would like to also thank the Oakland Press and its editorial staff for their support and encouragement over the years.

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Posted in: 300,child custody,divorce,family law,juvenile lifer law,lawyer,Oakland Press,SCOTUS,Second Amendment

Cohabitation May Not Lead to Child Custody in Gotham

Dr. Jonathan Sporn & Leann Leutner

This is a sad tale, yet a sign of our times.  The case illustrates how, despite the oft-progressive status of our modern family laws, and the family law bar, there remains a stubborn bias in the family court that favors the bloodlines of a traditional family unit.

In New York City, Pfizer executive Dr. Jonathan Sporn (54), a divorced man, was in a committed relationship with Ms. Leann Leutner (40), also divorced.  A couple since 2010, the two were inseparable and intent upon starting a family.

According to a petition Dr. Sporn filed in the New York State Supreme Court in Manhattan, the couple resorted to in vitro fertilization following difficulty conceiving; they met with success by using donated sperm for fertilization.  Their baby, Lincoln Sporn, was born last July.

The family law dispute arose, however, when Ms. Leutner, a New York City lawyer and Yale Law grad, retreated to an apartment in New Jersey following an acute bout with postpartum depression.  She discharged herself early from the Mount Sinai Hospital, where she underwent psychiatric treatment, and committed suicide on New Year's Day by jumping to her death from the 14th floor apartment.

Dr. Sporn's custody petition alleges that Ms. Leutner, long-afflicted with mental illness, had stopped taking her prescribed Prozac at the time she was beset with acute postpartum depression.  Ms. Leutner also made prior unsuccessful attempts to take her own life according to the custody petition.

This grim Manhattan custody battle now pits Dr. Sporn against Ms. Leutner's sister from Illinois, who is also seeking custody of Lincoln.  At present, the infant has been placed into foster care somewhere in Gotham in accord with the applicable statute which characterizes the parent-less child as: "destitute".

Like every same-sex couple that splits-up, Dr. Sporn occupies the same position as the partner that lacks any biological connection to the child.  Without that connection, traditional family law says, "you lose" in the inevitable custody war following the split.

Next month, Justice Laura Drager must decide which custodial environment is better for infant Lincoln: the Upper West Side with "Dad", as Dr. Sporn refers to himself, or in Illinois with Lincoln's aunt.  The case is expected to be remanded by the appellate court to the family court for an evidentiary hearing; meanwhile, months will grind by and the infant will become a toddler while in the foster care of strangers.

We here at the Law Blogger wonder, if the aunt was not contesting Dr. Sporn's custody petition, whether he would nevertheless be engaged with a custody battle with the New Jersey Child Protective Services. 

Also, is the aunt's claim thwarting a potential adoption bid for Dr. Sporn?  If so, what a shame.

The case has been tagged here at this Blog, and we will report the outcome.  Let's see just how progressive our family courts can be...

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Posted in: child custody,custody dispute,destitute. postpartum depression,family law,in vitro fertilization,Jonathan Sporn,Justice Laura Drager,Leann Leutner

Sibling Visitation – Does it Exist?

We have all heard the term “visitation” before, especially if you have been involved in a child custody dispute or divorce.  The term most often used by family law lawyers and professionals is “parenting time”; referring to the legal right [and obligation] of a parent to spend time with one’s child following a divorce. 

Even grandparents, under limited and specific circumstances, may have a legal right to visit with their grandchildren according to Michigan law.

But what about siblings?  Does a brother or sister have the right to visit their sibling, if for some reason they are no longer living within the same household? 

The short answer is that sibling visitation is not recognized as a legal right in Michigan.   The Child Custody Act does not provide for visitation rights between siblings.  Add adoption into the mix and the result remains the same – but for a more specific reason.  

Earlier this month, the Michigan Court of Appeals grappled with, and attempted to decide

this very issue in Wilson v King; a published thus binding opinion of the intermediate appellate court.

Marquita Wilson, the plaintiff-mother in this case, had three children who were eventually adopted into a new family in 2008 after her parental rights had been terminated.  Ms. Wilson then gave birth to a fourth child; Mac.  

The adoptive parents of Ms. Wilson's three children initially allowed Mac to visit with his siblings.  Sadly, for reasons not stated in the Court of Appeals opinion, the adoptive parents ultimately discontinued these sibling visits.  

Ms. Wilson filed suit on behalf of Mac in Wayne County Family Court.  The family court judge dismissed the claim on the basis that the right to “sibling visitation” does not exist under Michigan Law.  On appeal, Ms. Wilson argued that Michigan law does provide for a cause of action for sibling visitation and that the lower court had erred in dismissing her case.  

The Court of Appeals upheld the trial court’s decision – but did not find one way or the other on whether or not Michigan law provides for a cause of action for sibling visitation.  Instead, the Court focused on the fact that Mac’s older siblings had been adopted.  

Adoption legally severs any ties to the prior, natural family, and creates, in its place, a new adoptive family recognized at law.  This means that, legally speaking, Mac’s older siblings (once they had been adopted) were no longer his legal siblings in the eyes of the law.   

The Court of Appeals held that even if a cause of action regarding sibling visitation existed (which the Court made sure to footnote that they offered “no opinion as to the viability of such a claim”) in Mac’s instance the claim must fail as the three adoptive children were no longer his siblings. 

While we recognize the psychological importance of eliminating contact with biological parents in order to facilitate growth in the new adoptive family, this ruling strikes us as similar in spirit to the old paternity act that denied a biological father standing to seek any parenting time with his child whatsoever.

The ruling seems to foster the notion of wiping-out all traces of the adopted child's  biological family.  Many adopted children, as they mature, seek out traces of their biological families.  Some of these children, as they mature into adulthood, obsess over their lost families and seek therapy to deal with the loss.

At base, however, there is really no-way in cases like this to allow sibling visitation, without also focusing on the biological parents.  Our adoption laws currently do not provide for the maintenance of two families; just one: the adoptive family.

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Posted in: adoption,child custody,Child Custody Act,divorce,family court,family law,family law lawyer,Michigan Court of Appeals,Wayne County Circuit Court

Former Lesbian Finds Religion Kidnaps Child

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This case from Vermont displays some of the worst features of a parent taking family law into her own hands.  It is one thing for a parent to denounce her same-sex union and her lesbianism; it is entirely another to then plunge into a "born-again" culture, kidnapping her child to Central America and removing her from the other legal parent.

The case of Lisa Miller, Janet Jenkins and their 10-year old daughter, Isabella, is in the headlines as the Mennonite pastor that assisted Miller in fleeing the country goes on trial today in federal court in Burlington, Vermont.  No one knows where Miller and Isabella are today; Jenkins has not seen her daughter in over 3-years.

The civil union between the two women began to deteriorate 8-years ago when Miller denounced lesbianism in favor of her born-again conversion into a conservative Christian sect known as the Beachy Amish Mennonites.  Miller moved with Isabella to Virginia to be near church headquarters and tried to terminate Ms. Jenkins' parental rights.

The resulting protracted family court battle, waged in two state courts, resulted in an order of the Vermont Supreme Court granting custody to Jenkins; the Vermont ruling was honored and upheld by the courts in Virginia, where Miller tried to plead her cause.

Apparently, Miller had a change-of-heart regarding the family she created with Jenkins, and the lifestyle to which the parents belonged.  Once Miller "found God" within the conservative Christian Mennonite sect, she saw lesbianism as an "addiction" and found her partner to be an unfit parent who would not be allowed into heaven because she lived, in sin, with women.

At that point, as is so often the case with folks who find religion later in life, no laws of man or high court rulings could hold her back from her religious convictions.  In Virginia, Miller was employed for a time at Liberty Christian Academy, a school with close ties to Liberty University, the conservative christian college founded by Jerry Falwell.

Miller was represented in the family courts in the two states by lawyers from the Liberty Counsel, affiliated with the Liberty University's School of Law.  Her lawyers took the position that Virginia law, not Vermont law, should apply to the custody dispute in this case on the basis that the latter state "recognized as a parent a person that is not a parent", contrary to "biblical truths."  Virginia does not recognize same-sex unions as Vermont does.

Nevertheless, the Virginia family court and appellate courts ultimately ruled that Vermont properly had jurisdiction of the case.  When the Vermont family court judge ordered a parenting schedule that Miller refused to follow, he changed custody of the child to Jenkins in Vermont.

Shortly after this custody ruling, Miller disappeared with her daughter to Nicaragua.

Stay tuned to see how the federal jury that is being selected today in Virginia decides the fate of the local pastor that assisted Miller with fleeing the country, and whether Miller and her daughter will ever turn-up.

Clashes over child custody, lifestyle and religion; this case features all that and then some.  But we here at the Law Blogger must insist that it is never a good idea to take the law into your own hands.  That principle holds true whether you are the parent, or the pastor.

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Posted in: child custody,family court,family law,Janet Jenkins,Lisa Miller,Mennonite,same sex parents,same sex union,Vermont

Military Divorce: Part II

This is the second post in our series on the topic of military divorce.

Jurisdiction

Every court in the United States has its own laws about jurisdiction meaning rules regarding what cases the court is allowed to hear. One form of jurisdiction is personal jurisdiction—does the court have the right to compel a person or organization to appear before it and pass judgment? Another form is subject matter jurisdiction—does the court have the right to hear this particular case about this particular topic?

A court of a state where either spouse legally resides, or where the service member is stationed, can have jurisdiction over the divorce.

Retirement Pay/Benefits

As was discussed before, the state court is what decides the extent of benefits the former spouse of a service member is entitled to receive. Depending on the state, marital property from a divorce can be divided equitably (i.e., what the court considers “fair”) or it can be divided equally (a 50/50 split). The Department of Defense though, places a ceiling on benefit awards to former spouses.

No more than 50% of a service member’s benefits can be paid out to former spouses, even if a) the divorce decree states otherwise or b) the service member has more than one ex-spouse. It’s first come, first served, so if the first ex-wife was already awarded 50% of the member’s benefits, then any subsequent ex-wives will be denied a portion of the service member’s pay, regardless of what her divorce decree says. This can come as a shock to many and is an important thing to be aware of if your spouse is on his or her second marriage.

One more jurisdictional wrinkle should be addressed. In order for a court to issue an enforceable order regarding a service member’s retirement pay, it must have personal jurisdiction over the service member. By way of example, if a spouse files for divorce in her home state of Georgia, but Georgia has no personal jurisdiction over the service member spouse (no domicile, no residence or no consent), then the Georgia court is not able to enforce any order over the disposition of the military benefits.

Garnishments and Child Support

Each of the military services have regulations which require members to “provide adequate support” to family members. The problem comes with implementation; no branch of the military has the authority to force an individual to pay such support against his or her will.

There is no court martial equivalent to Michigan's felony non-support.

The best way of ensuring you receive the child or spousal support that you are due is by obtaining a court order from the family court in your county. This includes “temporary support orders,” that a court can issue pending a final resolution of your divorce. If a civilian court has issued a formal order and a member of the military still fails to pay, you are then permitted to return to court and obtain or garnishment of your spouse’s wages.

42 USC § 659 is the federal law that gives state courts jurisdiction to order garnishments of wages from military salaries and benefits. Though state law determines the procedure for how to obtain a garnishment order, federal law dictates how the garnishment order is applied to military pay.

Unless state law specifies a lesser amount, federal law provides a limit of 50% of the member’s total disposable earnings for any workweek if the member is currently supporting a second family (spouse or child) and 60% if the member is not supporting a second family. The percentage may be increased by 5% if the child support (or spousal support) arrearage is 12 weeks or more.

42 USC § 665 gives jurisdiction to state courts over military members for child support proceedings. Section 665 has the added provision of requiring that no action shall be taken regarding the garnishment of wages of a service member until the member subject to the child support proceeding has either consulted with a Judge Advocate General, or until 30 days have passed after the service member was given proper notice of the child support proceeding in instances where such a consultation was not possible.

In the last post of this series, we will address adultery and other common divorce-related problems in the context of the active soldier.

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Posted in: court martial,divorce lawyer,family court,family law,military divorce,Uniform Code of Military Justice

What Makes a Good Family Court Judge?

Attorney Henry S. Gornbein

This post is from the Huffington Post's Divorce Blog.  The author is Henry S. Gornbein, a colleague of ours from Oakland County that specializes in divorce and family law and a regular contributor to the Huffington Post.  In this post, Henry really captures the critical elements of a good family court judge.

Here is what Henry had to say on the subject:

In over forty years of practicing family law, I have appeared before hundreds of different judges. I have found that some are rude, arrogant, and suffer from what is known as black robe syndrome. This means that they have forgotten -- or never knew -- what it was like to practice law, and have a holier than thou attitude. Most judges are considerate, will listen, and will try to resolve issues in cases.

Here are some of my thoughts on the attributes of a good judge in family law:

1.       A judge should remember that he or she may also be divorced. I have represented judges in their divorces before, and they are human just like everybody else.

2.       A good judge should listen to the arguments of attorneys and show compassion.

3.       A good judge should not lose control of his or her court room.

4.       A judge should not let arguments go on endlessly, and give everyone a chance to speak. The judge should also know when to cut arguments off in court.

5.       A good judge should be fair and not biased.

6.       A good judge should be decisive. One of the most frustrating things for attorneys are judges who will take matters under advisement, or fail to come up with a ruling. People need rulings so that they can go on with their lives. Even if an attorney or client disagrees with the ruling, it is better to have a ruling than not to have any decision made by the court.

7.       Judges should be on time. If court is set for 8:30 or 9:00 a.m., judges should be prompt. One of the most frustrating things for litigants and their attorneys is to sit around for hours on end waiting for a judge who does not start court promptly.

8.      Some judges will refuse to talk to attorneys in chambers about a case. I think that is wrong. I feel very strongly that a meeting with attorneys through a pre-trial, where a judge will listen to some of the key issues and then send a signal, can lead to a settlement. I also believe that a good judge will set up meetings in order to settle cases rather than just saying, "if you can't settle, then call your first witness." Trials should be a last resort, not a first resort. A good judge knows that.

9.       A good judge should always be in control of his or her court room and docket, but also should not be punitive or refuse to allow people to have their day in court. There is an old saying that justice delayed is justice denied. Cases that are set for trial which are continually adjourned because of court docket conflicts or other reasons, help no one. While I believe that there should be reasonable adjournments granted when an attorney requests one, there should not be unlimited adjournments of a hearing or trial of a case.

10.   I have found over the years that if the judge will start a trial, listen to the parties, allow some evidence, and permit the litigants to get whatever he or she has off his or her chest -- the case can often be settled. Getting that day in court, getting a chance to speak and feeling that a litigant is heard can often lead to a resolution of a case without the need to go through an entire trial. I have had judges over the years who would give people a chance to speak in an informal manner, and then get down to try and settle the case. Letting someone be heard, letting someone feel that his or her thoughts and wishes are important, is a good way to lead to a resolution of a case.

11.    A good judge should show respect for the attorneys and for the litigants, and a good judge should expect respect in return.

12.    In our multi-cultural, social and ethnic society, a judge should be sensitive to religious, ethnic, racial, and cultural differences. I have had judges tell me that certain cultures act in certain ways, and allowing these cultural differences to be recognized in a respectful manner can lead to a resolution of a case.

13.    In making a ruling, a good judge should be clear and concise, and explain what he or she is doing and why. Too many times I have had attorneys and litigants walking out of a court room shaking their heads and wondering what the judge did and clearly not understanding what the ruling was based upon. This is not good for anyone.

14.    Last, but not least, just like a good lawyer understands that a trial before a stranger should be the last resort, not the first, a good judge should understand that also. A judge should leave plenty of opportunity for resolution of a case short of trial either through mediation, negotiations or sometimes, arm-twisting by the judge.

Well put Henry; we could not have stated the matter any better.  Clearly, four-decades of practicing family law has given you some very valuable insight.  Thanks for sharing your thougts.

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Posted in: divorce,family court,family law,Henry S. Gornbein,judge,Oakland County

What Happens to Frozen Embryos After A Divorce?

In happier times, the Stratfords, Jude and Jayane, did what an increasing number of marital couples are doing; they froze one of Jayane's eggs that had been fertilized by Jude's sperm; i.e. they cryopreserved an embryo.  When the dust settled in their subsequent St. Clair County divorce proceeding, the now-divorced couple realized they had forgotten to address their frozen embryo in the consent judgment of divorce.

Jude went back to the family court seeking permission to allow an anonymous couple to utilize the single fertilized and frozen egg.  Jayane objected, asserting her desire to donate the embryos for research.

After carefully balancing the respective interests of the parties following an evidentiary hearing, St. Clair County Family Court Judge Elwood Brown concluded that Jude held a "superior interest" in the embryo, and promulgated a thoroughly-researched opinion and order on this ground-breaking topic that has no precedent in Michigan's statutory or common law.

Judge Brown ruled that: "[Father] may provide for the embryo to be donated anonymously by the fertility clinic for the purpose of adoption by another willing couple."  Jayane appealed Brown's ruling to the Michigan Court of Appeals.

The MCOA reversed the family court in an unpublished and thus non-binding per curiam decision, holding that the lower court erred by obligating the fertility clinic, not a party to the Statford divorce, and further held that the family court order was too vague relative to Father's right/duty to donate the fertilized egg to another "willing couple".

The appellate court was particularly troubled by the lack of a contract between the divorced parties and the fertility clinic.  Addressing the family court's creation of duties to a non-party, the MCOA stated:

Aside from the permissive nature of the order, the order imposed upon the clinic several obligations that the clinic may be unwilling to accept or unable to perform.  For example, the record does not indicate whether the clinic is able to make the embryo available for adoption.  Similarly, the record contains nothing to demonstrate that the clinic is willing or able to accept the order’s apparent restriction that the embryo be adopted only by a willing couple.  In addition, the record does not identify who, if anyone, is currently paying for any of the clinic’s costs arising from cryogenic preservation until a “willing couple” is available for adoption.  We are further left to assume from this record that there is preservation in fact, viability, and, non-abandonment of the embryo.  Moreoever, in the event plaintiff opts not to donate the embryo, the record does not indicate whether the clinic is willing or able to continue to preserve the embryo indefinitely.

In so ruling, the MCOA compared the Statford's circumstances with an earlier "zygote" case from 1999, Bohn v Ann Arbor Fertility Clinic, which involved a similar family court "custody" dispute, along with a companion "breach of contract" cause of action.

In each case, the Court of Appeals focused on the agreement, or lack thereof, between the biological donors and the fertility clinic.  In deciding each case, the MCOA emphasized the poor quality of the lower court record relative to upholding the plaintiff's claims or, in the Stratford case, the lower court's rationale.

Nor did the Stratford panel endorse the lower court's "balance of interests test", ruling that such was within the purview of the legislature and not the courts.  We here at the Law Blogger heartily agree.

Stay tuned to see whether either party applies for leave to further appeal or whether there will be additional proceedings in the family court.

Also stay tuned to see whether our state legislature passes legislation to address the proprietary rights of zygotes, oocytes, and other pre-embryonic cells.

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Posted in: child custody,cryopreserve,cryopreserved embryo,divorce,embryo,family law,Jayane Stratford,Jude Stratford,Michigan Court of Appeals,oocytes,privacy law

Should Your Divorce Go To Trial

On Friday, I was sure that I was going to spend the entire day in a divorce trial; my first in a quarter century of practice. Didn't happen.

Why? Because trial in divorce rarely makes sense. This case, in Genesee County, had it all: a GAL for the minor children; a joint bankruptcy in the middle of the proceedings; two [failed] mediation sessions; motions from each side, jousting for the entry of temporary support and parenting orders.

The case was positioned for trial because both sides held onto rigid positions on many of the issues important in any divorce proceeding: custody, parenting time, child support, alimony and debt apportionment. My law clerk, a third year student at Wayne State, prepared an excellent trial brief; she had compiled a trial notebook, and we were prepared and ready to go.

As the case was the oldest on Judge Kay Behm's docket [18-months], I knew it was going to resolve one way or another.

The case did resolve, after 8-hours in the courtroom, because each of the parents made common-sense, strategic compromises. In the end, the parents each looked past their own personal wounds, and their self-centered agendas, and took into account the best interests of their minor children.

Don't get me wrong, I would rather conduct a trial than spend the entire day as I did Friday, painstakingly going over, discussing, negotiating, and resolving every aspect of a failed marriage and the flotsam that goes along with it. But as a divorce lawyer, I keep the best interests of the client in mind. Trial almost never makes sense.

So it may be that when I finally retire, I will have never conducted a divorce trial. Actually, that is a client-service goal of mine.

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Posted in: divorce,divorce lawyer,divorce settlement,family law,Genesee County Family Court,Judge Kay Behm

Narcissus Gets a Divorce

Narcissus admires his reflection.

In my decades of divorce practice, I've encountered folks who, if a psychological evaluation was completed, would be characterized as having narcissistic personality disorder.  A few of these peeps have been clients; others have been on the opposing side.

Either way, everyone involved is in for a rough ride.

Over the past several years, "narcissism" has also taken on a connotation-du-jour.  The diagnosis being made by dime-store psychologists (i.e. parties to family court litigation) whenever the object takes an opposing or contrary view. 

What is narcissim, really?

According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder is "characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, which is in the same category as antisocial and borderline personality disorders."   A person with this personality disorder may exhibit some of the following characteristics, according to the Clinic:

• Believing you are better than others;
• Fantasizing about your success, power and attractiveness;
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents;
• Expecting constant praise and admiration;
• Ignoring other's feelings and emotions;
• Believing and acting like you are really, really special;
• Taking advantage of others;
• Expecting others to go along with your often super-sized schemes and plans;
• Exhibiting jealousy toward others;
• Believing others are jealous of you;
• Unable to maintain healthy inter-personal relationships;
• Easily hurt or rejected;
• Fragile self-esteem

If you know someone with more than a few of these traits, run.  If you are married to such a person, get ready for the inevitable divorce proceeding when you finally throw in the towel, realizing that your spouse will never change. 

If you are a lawyer representing such a person, affix your chin strap and bring a lunch.

In the divorce context, the narcissist fares quite poorly.  The above-listed features of this personality disorder are routinely identifed and rigorously addressed by family court professionals. 

In this process, the personality flaws of the narcissist are forced itno the lab for a full-on forensic evaluation.  Many of the tools in the family court professional's arsenal will be brought to bear upon the conduct of the narcissist in an effort to force short-term modification, and to achieve a stable platform.

Some red flags that I've gleaned over the years: a narcissist will change lawyers often, blaming the status of the case on the mistakes of prior legal counsel.  Also, the register of actions in the case of a narcissist will often be a mile long, peppered with hearings, motions, and more hearings.

When a narcissist is embroiled in a divorce proceeding, the children are used as pawns.  Any input from the Friend of the Court [either via a referee, family counselor, or social worker] or from a therapist, is rejected; the narcissistic parent must be dragged to court, kicking, screaming and cursing.

In the years leading up to such a divorce, the other spouse will often report being chronically verbally abused and bullied by the narcissist.  In fact, this dynamic will set the initial tone of the proceeding.

The process will next feature a series of attempts, which will take some time, where the professionals try to arrest the insidious and pervasive conduct of the narcissist.  Arrest, but not change; this person will not change.

The other spouse many times will exhibit classic signs of emotional abuse during this painful process: low self-esteem, exhaustion, a desire to give up or give in.  This person needs a strong focused divorce lawyer.

And counseling. 

During the divorce process, the other spouse is well advised to minimize the face-to-face contacts with the narcissist.  If children are involved, then communicate through emails and texts. 

If you feel threatened at home or during parenting exchanges, seek exclusive use of the marital home.  If you are separated, use a neutral transition point for the parenting exchanges; most family court judges will grant such a request simply to err on the side of everyone's safety.

Finally, stay focused on the process knowing that the process will eventually come to an end.  The Michigan Supreme Court has mandated that county family courts conclude divorce proceedings within a year.

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Posted in: divorce,divorce lawyer,family court,family law,family law lawyer,Mayo Clinic,narcissism,narcissistic personality disorder,Narcissus

Child Obesity as a Custody Factor in Family Court

Yesterday, the NBC Today Show featured a segment on family court cases where a parent was mounting a child custody challenge based on obesity.  This past year, I recall hearing much about the subject of childhood obesity, perhaps due to the First Lady's "Let's Move" campaign.

According to a recent report by the Center for Disease Control, childhood obesity affects 17% of our nation's youth; a figure triple what it was just a generation ago.  Now that this is a recognized condition putting on the cloak of yet another national crisis, should family court judges take childhood obesity into account in the custody calculus?

The father featured in the Today Show segment was shown cooking a vegetarian meal for his two preteen children.  He succeeded in his custody ploy to the extent the family court judge modified  custody such that the children stayed at dad's house during the weeks of the school year.

In Michigan, the Child Custody Act sets forth several factors which a family court judge must consider when deciding a custody dispute.  One of these factors is the capacity of a parent to provide food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care.  Arguably, this factor could include how a parent manages a child's diet; particularly if that child is at risk for obesity or is, in fact, obese.


The relative physical health of the parents and the reasonable preference of the child (particularly if older than age 12) could also come into play in a childhood obesity custody case.  A parent's unhealthy lifestyle may factor into the family court judge's calculus.


In come cases, it may strike the judge as unfair to basically penalize a parent for the child's eating habits.  This is a particularly close case where the obesity may be genetic and thus, hereditary.  Also, how far does the family court go?  


The optimal situation, of course, is where both parties co-parent with the child's best interests in mind.  Diet, exercise and lifestyle, however, often do not mesh between divorced parents.


As our nation continues it's struggle against the bulge, the cases of the type featured on the Today Show may pop up with more regularity in the county family courts across the state.  We all want the best for your young children.  Certainly, a good diet is an important component to a good healthy upbringing.

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Posted in: child custody,Child Custody Act,co-parenting,family court,family law,parenting schedule

High Income Child Support

In 1988, the federal Family Support Act required all states to enact presumptive child support "guidelines" in order to preserve federal funding on a variety of family-oriented programs.  Since then, Michigan has adopted the Michigan Child Support Formula.

In response to the Act, some states adopted support formulas that "top-out" for high earners.  Here in Michigan, for example, child support can only be calculated for an annual income of $422,916 or less.

In addition, the MCSF takes away most of the court's discretion in setting child support.  Absent compelling factors, support is determined through a straight-forward application of the MCSF.

In the case of some high-earning families, litigants have cried foul, asserting that when a parent earns millions of dollars, his children should share in that wealth.  This is particularly the case where the high income is short-lived; like with most professional athletes.

Like Michigan, Florida, Nebraska, Virginia, West Virginia and Wyoming all use a straight formulaic approach [with a cap] to the calculation of child support.  Other states utilize a percentage approach where the child support obligation just keeps going up; keeping pace with the parent's high income.

Recognizing this problem, some states have specific statutes that address high income households.  These statutes usually provide the family court judge with some good old-fashioned "discretion" to determine the child support obligation in accord with the "best interests of the child."

But what really is in the best interests of little "Richie Rich"?  Some of life's best lessons are learned with less, not more.

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Posted in: "Michigan Child Support Formula",child support,divorce lawyer,family law,Family Support Act

New Apps Flood Lawyers With Information

Attorneys, perhaps more than any other professionals, are awash with information; information about their cases, information about changing laws, a constantly shifting schedule.  The pace with which the information now flows can only be described as instantaneous.

The manner in which a lawyer collects, stores and utilizes this information is a good indicator of that lawyer's professional skill.  In this era of a 24/7 stream of digitized information, mobile devices are beginning to offer specialized apps for lawyers.

Here are some examples:

SCOTUS App.  The Oyez Project has just launched an app that will download U.S. Supreme Court activity to your mobile device.  This will include digitally recorded oral arguments, text of the High Court's decisions, as  well as media coverage and analysis.  Pretty cool, to be sure; but is this information-overkill?  Why not just wait until you get back to your computer?

Mobile Transcript.  This app allows you to download, manipulate, summarize, and transmit deposition transcripts right from your mobile phone.  Great for when litigation data must be processed fast.  Try using this while on vacation, however, and you will likely need to hire a divorce attorney.

Family Law Apps.  Speaking of divorce, there are plenty of divorce-related apps in both the Droid and iPhone markets.  For those residents of Gotham, there is an app to calculate your child support, there are apps to save your marriage; apps to stop your divorce; apps to help you win custody and, or course, apps for various forward-leaning divorce attorneys and law firms.  Exhausting, to be sure.


State Bar App.  Useless here in Michigan, but perhaps a harbinger, the Maryland State Bar Association has produced an  app that downloads their rules of evidence, rules of professional conduct, and bits of professional philosophy right to your handheld device.  Can the SBM be far behind?


Law Blog Apps.  In a case of life imitating art, or perhaps this is best described as lawyers taking themselves too seriously, the blawg "FutureLawyer" announced on Tuesday that there is an app available to download their tech-related posts directly to your mobile device.  As if you just could not live without their updates; now you can digest their posts about the latest tech developments while you wait for your case to be called; could have used this App today.

In 18-months, most of these current apps will be considered obsolete.  The thing about high-tech is that products are constantly being improved.

Soon, you will be able to go to your doctor and just get a "chip" implanted into your skull; that way you'll have all the world's latest data right under your hood.  

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Posted in: apps,attorney,divorce,family law,Gotham,information,lawyer,mobile device,SCOTUS,technology

Post-Divorce Nesting

Brown Bird Design for Time

This week in Time Magazine, there is a story in the "Society" section about a mode of parenting known as, "Nesting".  This is where divorced parents each secure a residence beyond the former marital home; the couple's children remain in the marital home, to "nest".

The theory behind nesting is that it seeks to minimize the sense of upheaval that children of school age often experience during and after their parent's divorce.

Time's Belinda Luscombe speculates that the nesting mode of post-divorce parenting has emerged over the past decade as an innovative version of co-parenting.  It remains rare, however, to get both parents on the same page be able to pull it off.

In the past decade, I have completed nearly 250 divorces and only two of those featured a nesting arrangement.  Of those two cases, one of nests was destroyed, via foreclosure.

On the other hand, the difficult real estate market has forced many divorcing couples to hang onto their former marital home; like it or not.  Nesting would seem to be a viable option.  Usually, however, one of the parents "takes one for the team" and remains in the marital home, or the couple "walks away" from the home to begin their new post-divorce lives under the cloud of foreclosure.

Proponents assert that the nesting arrangement eliminates the continuous shuffling between two homes by the children that comes with a traditional parenting schedule; the parents do the shuffling in a nesting arrangement.  Also, for children of a certain age, the arrangement allows them to continue living and going to school in a familiar environment, their childhood home, while they adjust to their parents' divorce.

Most family court judges look upon nesting arrangements with a certain degree of skepticism, if not outright scorn.  In family court, however, parents are free to make whatever arrangements they desire so long as the judge can be convinced it is in best interests of the children involved in the case.

As a temporary post-divorce parenting technique between two cooperating amiable co-parents, nesting can work.  It very well may provide the minor children with a better opportunity to adjust to the strains of divorce.

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Posted in: Belinda Luscombe,child custody,co-parenting,divorce,divorce lawyer,family court,family law,Time Magazine

Anti-Shariah Law (Part II)

State Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Detroit)

The Law Blogger recently posted on the Anti-Shariah movement earlier this month.  Now, the Michigan legislature is getting in on the act along with the American Bar Association.

HB 4769, sponsored by Rep. Dave Agema of Grandville and numerous other legislators, seeks to restrict contracts and agreements calling for the application of foreign laws whenever such application would conflict with the rights set forth in the U. S. and Michigan Constitutions.  The bill was introduced last week and was assigned to the Judiciary Committee of the Michigan House of Representatives.

Judges presiding over disputes involving such contracts and agreements would be required to amend the application of the foreign law to protect the litigant's constitutional rights.  If an amended application of the choice of law provision is not feasible, then the foreign law provision is deemed null and void.

Under such a provision, you could kiss Shariah Law goodbye; at least if either party to an agreement calling for the application of the Islamic code wanted to escape the burden of the contract.  This scenario would come up most often in the family law context where prenuptial agreements between religiously devout Muslims frequently call for the application of Shariah Law in the divorce judgment.  If Agema's bill passes, the family court judge could not honor the prenuptial agreement.

This possibility has Michigan's Arabic community speaking out.  Michigan's only Muslim legislator, Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D. Detroit), called a press conference to denounce Agema's bill, stating that her constituents found it "very very offensive" to the extent the bill would cast suspicion on Muslims.

Transactional attorneys that negotiate contracts with international choice of forum clauses are concerned these provisions would be subject to litigation.  Until now, such contract clauses routinely have been  enforced by Michigan judges.

In the last few years, anti-foreign law bills have sprung up in 22 state legislatures but only Arizona managed to pass their bill into law in April.  In the 2010 elections, Oklahoma voters approved an anti-foreign law ballot measure, but the proposal was short-lived having been invalidated in federal court on First Amendment grounds.

The American Bar Association passed resolutions earlier this month denouncing any federal or state laws that impose blanket prohibitions against the use of foreign laws or religious codes.

In our free society where the First Amendment reigns supreme, just who's law is it anyway?  Go figure.

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Posted in: American Bar Association,Dave Agema,Detroit,divorce,family law,First Amendment,Islamic law,Michigan Constitution,Muslim,Rashida Tlaib,Shariah law,U.S. Constitution

When Your Children Live with a Murderer Endorsed by the Family Court

A very worried Trisha Conlon

This bizarre family law custody case is playing out in Seattle, WA.  The unusual facts of the case bring into sharp focus the challenge of putting parents' often-questionable decisions through review by a family court judge.

In 1995 Trisha Conlon married Marine fighter pilot John Cushing, Jr.; a man with a tragic past.  His ex-wife, Kristine Cushing, shot to death their two young daughters, 4 and 8, while they slept in their Southern California home.  This was in 1991, when Mr. Cushing was on active duty in the Marine Corps and Mrs. Cushing, by all accounts, was an ideal soccer Mom.

Kristine Cushing's murder trial featured the now infamous "Prozac Defense"; she was found guilty by reason of insanity and sentenced to a mental institution where she did a nickle, followed by a decade of intensive in-patient style psychiatric treatment.  She was discharged without restriction in 2005.

Meanwhile, John Cushing tried to put the pieces of his life back together.  He married Trisha Conlon, with whom he had two sons.  Sadly yet predictably, the couple divorced in 2004.  Mr. Cushing's next "life-choice" was to re-marry his first wife, Kristine Cushing, the now-excused infanticidal murderess.

Today, Lt. Col. Cushing (retired) lives on Vashon Island, WA with a split-custody arrangement whereby one of his sons lives with him; the other lives with Ms. Conlon.  The brothers reunite during holidays and vacations.  Under this custody arrangement, Conlon eventually became aware that her ex-spouse not only re-married his first wife, but also shared a marital home with her and Conlon's son.

This information was difficult to come by as Mr. Cushing attempted to conceal his family arrangements.  The distance between the two parents provided the necessary cover.  Ms. Conlon, now living in Oregon, resorted to her family law attorney and his private investigator.

Seeking a change in custody to place her son into her home, Conlon brought proof of the Cushing reunification to the attention of the family court in King County, Washington (Seattle), arguing the arrangement was a "change in circumstance" detrimental to her son's best interests.  She lost her case last month; a hearing on appeal is set for next week.

This case is a testament to the lengths people will go in the name of love, marriage, and progenitorship. Many, perhaps most of us, would not make the same decision as the Lt. Col. in this case; infanticide is just a flat-out "deal-breaker".  On the other hand, imagine the love and forgiveness Cushing must have for his first wife to be able to take such a risk.

To the extent that his decision has placed his son in harm's path, it will be up to a family court judge of the King County Superior Court in Seattle to determine what is best for the boy under its jurisdiction.

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Posted in: child custody,divorce,divorce lawyer,family court,family law,infanticide,Prozac,Seattle,split custody,Trisha Conlon,Vashon Island

Ex-Spouse Takes Out Divorce Angst on his Blog

Boy, would I welcome the chance to write this appeal.

A family court judge in Bucks County, Pennsylvania has enjoined divorcee Anthony Morelli from operating his web site devoted to his ex-wife; thepsychoexwife.

Judge Diane Gibbons based her decision on grounds the Father's blog, which details his failed marriage, his tortuous divorce process, and its protracted custody battle, is harming his young children.  In fact, the blog does a hatchet job on his ex.

Morelli says the blog is a forum where he can help others "minimize conflict" and connect to share stories. He would like us to think of his blog as a kumbaya community where divorced men can rip their ex-wives with impunity.  Touching, for real.

His lawyers have appealed Judge Gibblons' injunction claiming it is an unconstitutional prior restraint in violation of Morelli's First Amendment right to free speech.

For her part, Morelli's ex-wife says their children know about the blog, which is a shame.

Since he started the blog back in 2007, it has attracted a robust readership of nearly 200,000 new followers per month.  At one point, Morelli was earning money from third-party advertisements on the blog.

We'd love to cultivate that type of readership over here at the Law Blogger; figures that such a negative energy factory would do so well.

Prior restraint of free speech, however, is a serious problem in this case.  Judges, even family court judges, cannot restrain our free speech.  A blog is one of the most common contemporary media designed to amplify freedom of expression.  If a blogger lacks taste and restraint, should a local judge act as a censor?

Judge Gibbons' injunction in the Morelli case will undoubtedly be reversed on appeal.

Do you think family court judges should be able to regulate the content of a party's speech in a high-conflict divorce proceeding?  Where would you draw the line; threats? abusive commentary?

We would like to know what you think on this issue...

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Posted in: Anthony Morelli,divorce,divorce blog,family law,family law lawyer,First Amendment,Judge Diane Gibbons

The Anti-Shariah Movement

There is a growing movement afoot in the United States and Western Europe to arrest the perceived expansion of Islamic Law; also known as Shariah Law.  As the Anti-Shariah movement gains momentum here in the US, it is bumping up against the "free speech" clause of our First Amendment.

Sharia, the Islamic code that guides a Muslim's beliefs and conduct, is increasingly viewed by some legislators as a legal system that seeks world domination.  This fear has been attached to Islam for centuries.

The most vocal leader of the contemporary Anti-Shariah movement, David Yerushelmi, was profiled on the front page of last Sunday's NYT.  An attorney in New York and a Hasidic Jew, Mr. Yerushelmi has aligned himself with a phalanx of conservative think tanks while making a national mark as an expert on Shariah.  His recent accomplishments include drafting model Anti-Shariah legislation and filing lawsuits against the government that cite Shariah as, "one of the greatest threats to American freedom since the cold war," according to the NYT.

His warning is being echoed on the floor of statehouses throughout the country.  The actual extent of this perceived threat is highly debatable.

Should U.S. Courts ever defer to religious tribunals?  It happens more than you may realize. 

For example, the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit in New Orleans upheld an arbitration award handed down by the Institute for Christian Conciliation.  Also, state courts have long upheld decisions made in Jewish courts known as a bet din.  Even Islamic courts, particularly in the area of family law, receive some "faith and credit" in state courts (if not full faith and credit).

 Particularly in the area of family law, there is an academic perception that religious women are often pressured by spouse and family into arbitrating in religious tribunals.  A problem arises when these tribunals then disregard principles of basic equity, fairness and even constitutional protections.

Recent state appellate decisions, one from New Jersey and one from Maryland, provide a fascinating insight into the issue of Shariah Law now confronting state court judges on an frequent basis.

Some state legislatures are drafting bills that would prohibit state court judges, particularly family court judges, from any consideration of the Shariah; all litigants would be bound by applicable state laws.

Perhaps this would be best.  We are, after all, in America, are we not?

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Posted in: bet din,David Yerushelmi,family law,Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals,First Amendment,Hasidic,Islamic law,Shariah law

Proposed Divorce Legislation Distinguishes Marital From Separate Property

Two new bills pending in the Michigan legislature attempt to address a long-perceived problem in Michigan family law: how to classify property [separate or marital] in a divorce proceeding.  This legislative proposal has judges and divorce attorneys up in arms.

The tie-barred bills, 4672 and 4673, introduced by Livonia Republican John Walsh, propose standards for the division of marital property, and comingled marital and separate property; create a presumption of non-division for separate property; and revises the procedures by which a family court could "invade" one spouse's separate property and award it to the other spouse.

In Michigan, a family court judge's power to apportion property in a divorce comes strictly from statutes; a confusing patchwork of four separate statutes, to be precise.  Because of this legislative patchwork, a significant body of common law has developed over the past 30-years addressing the classification and division of property.

Although every divorce case is decided on its own merit, the present state of divorce law allows the distinct possibility, if sufficent and compelling factors are proven, for the invasion of separate property.  The new legislation is largely viewed as making such an invasion more difficult, if not impossible.

Birmingham divorce attorney James P. Cunningham summarized the problem in a 2008 Michigan Bar Journal article, calling for legislation to "fill the gap" between the cases.  Cunningham was on the floor of the house in Lansing last week to testify as an expert about the need for this legislation and, presumably, to endorse the content of Walsh's bills.

So why such a fuss from the family court bench and bar?  First, they contend that Walsh is fast-tracking the legislation without input from their professional organizations.  Second, these groups also assert the proposed measures are grossly unfair to the non-propertied spouse.

When cornered by a reporter at the Capitol last week, a lobbist for the bills denied they were being fast-tracked but wryly noted that the family court bar was a veritable "graveyard" for good ideas.

Is this going to be a case of the rich getting richer?  The so-called "missionaries for the family" certainly think so and are determined to quash the measures; you should have seen the chatter about these bills appearing on the State Bar of Michigan's Family Law listserve...

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Posted in: Attorny James P. Cunningham,divorce,family court,family law,family law lawyer,marital estate,marital property,Representative John Walsh,separate property,State Bar of Michigan