Showing posts with label reunion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reunion. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Possible GSA Case Makes News


Not everyone who is arrested or prosecuted for consensual sex is a sympathetic person overall. Sometimes, they've done other things that should continue to be crimes. Regardless of whether someone is a career criminal or a true pillar of the community, consensual relationships and sex between adults should not be a crime, and should not be fodder for ridicule in what are supposed to be serious news services. Stories like the one below are not justification to deny full marriage equality. For every situation like the one detailed below, there are many great people who are in consanguinamorous relationships and you never heard about them. Or, they are famous and admired, but their consanguinamory remains closeted.

Here is Lee Moran's article at nydailynews.com...

A Texas meth-head and his sister confessed to incest after they were caught passionately kissing in prison, police said.

Charlene Ellet, 25, and her brother Cameron Beck, 26, were allegedly busted locking lips between jail cell bars after getting arrested for possession of meth.

The Houston duo now faces prohibited sexual conduct charges on top of the initial drug allegations.
So this happened in Texas but is in a New York newspaper. Why?

Montgomery County Police Reporter said that the pair was picked up at a Wal-Mart on Friday after Ellet was caught stealing.

Deputies detained Beck, who'd driven his sister and her 2-year-old twin girls to the store, after finding traces of meth in his car.

Taken to Montgomery County Jail and placed in neighboring cells, deputies said they were stunned when the pair started kissing each other on the lips through the bars.

They should have learned from this. Texas is one of the worst states when it comes to consanguinamory. Here's why I think this is a possible case of Genetic Sexual Attraction...

Confirming they were siblings, Ellet said they had the same biological mom but that she had been adopted.

She revealed they struck up a pen pal relationship as Beck was in prison and hooked up on his release in November.

The couple lived in a motel room with Ellet's two daughters, and would often have sex behind a partition as the two girls watched TV.

Here's the coverage at examiner.com.

Here's the coverage at opposingviews.com.


Here's what appears to be the original source, montgomerycountypolicereporter.com.


And dailymail.co.uk had to carry it, too.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

More Reunited Siblings in the News

We recently noted a story about twins living on different continents discovering each other and reuniting. Now here's an Associated Press article I found at news.yahoo.com by Regina Garcia Cano about five siblings reconnecting.
The lives of five brothers and sisters born in North Dakota who were separately adopted at infancy took the twists and turns that 50 years bring. Some moved to different states; some married; some had children. But none of them ever knew the others existed.

Then, the obituary of their biological mother presented a clue. And when they finally met, one brother realized he wasn't so unfamiliar with one of his siblings. John Maixner had been greeted a half a dozen times or so by his sister at their local Walmart in Dickinson, N.D., where she has worked for 23 years.

Again, this is not a Genetic Sexual Attraction article, but there are some things to note (especially when you consider that up to 50% of people in a reunion/introduction do experience GSA)...



"February 19 was the first time I heard her voice," Handtmann told The Associated Press Wednesday. "I will never forget that day."

They arranged to meet at Handtmann's home in Bismarck, N.D.

"It was unbelievable," Bullinger said. "We are in our 50s. I was so nervous to meet her, and when I opened that door, I didn't know what to say. You don't know what to do. It was so special."
And...
All five siblings reunited for the first time at Handtmann's home in October. John Blankendall, 53, drove from Tennessee and Sandy Watkins, 54, flew in from California.

"It gives me goose bumps," Bullinger said. "So many emotions — you cried and you laughed. It's just wonderful. I haven't quit smiling," she said.

They agreed to take a DNA test. The results showed they are full siblings, meaning they share the same biological father as well.

Maixner's adoptive father passed away shortly before he got a call from the adoption agency. He spent Christmas with Bullinger, her husband and her adoptive parents.

His unlimited-calls cellphone plan came in handy after meeting his siblings.

"We talk every couple of days," he said.


Reunions happen, even when you think they wouldn't or couldn't. Two of the siblings actually were seeing each other in-person and didn't know their relation. What if they had started dating?

Here's Katie Kindelan of ABC News covering the same story.
When Handtmann told him about their other siblings and showed him Bullinger's picture, Maixner had his jaw-dropping moment when he recognized the Walmart employee.

Soon Maixner and Bullinger were making up for the lost time they spent as anonymous customer and employee.

"We exchanged phone numbers and went to Perkins and had coffee and got to know each other," Maixner said of his younger sister.

All five siblings - brother John Blankendall, in Tennessee, and Sandy Watkins, in California - met face-to-face for the first time in October.

"I walked in and I was just kind of speechless," Maixner said. "The conversation got going after a while, but we all just looked at each other and we all looked alike."

I'm glad they found each other.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Unaware Twins Living on Different Continents Reunited

There’s no indication that Genetic Sexual Attraction is a factor in this case, but this situation is a reminder of how the conditions that bring about GSA do happen, no matter how improbable. Rich McHugh of ABC News reports in this article that I found at news.yahoo.com…

Imagine growing up as an adopted child, and at age 25 getting at Facebook message from a stranger who looks exactly like you.

That's what happened to Samantha Futerman, an actress living in Los Angeles.

"On February 1st, 2013, I got message on Facebook from a girl in London," Futerman said. "It said she had seen me in YouTube video, then after looking my name up online, saw that we were both adopted, and born on the same day, in the same city. When I saw her profile, it was crazy. She looked just like me."

The girl who had sent the message was Anais Bordier, a French fashion designer in London.


Modern communications and travel make reunions more likely.

They had their DNA tested to erase any doubt.

The result proved what their faces told them all along: they were sisters.

Bordier said she had always felt as though something was missing in her life. She never knew that, after she and her sister were born, they were each placed in separate foster care agencies and adopted separately.

I’m glad they found each other.

The sexual part of GSA will usually only come into play depending on sexual orientation. For example, if two sisters who have no sexual attraction to other women are reunited, their reunification/introduction isn’t likely to cause an exception. However, related aspects can come into play, such as experiencing a strong bond.

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Two Main Paths to Consanguinamory

There are two main paths to consanguinamory, or the objective reality that at least two closely biologically related people have sex, and perhaps an ongoing romance or marriage-style relationship. While the prejudiced may dismiss all consanguinamory as the same (in their small minds) inexcusable behavior, the differences in these paths do have an impact on the participants and those around them. This is why people who are on one path may not understand those on the other, or want to be associated with them.

One main path to consanguinamory is Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). GSA is an extremely intense attraction that may occur when close biological relatives meet any time after puberty either for the very first time, or the first time since the youngest went through puberty. These situations are likely to increase due to increased human mobility and the high rates of co-parents who do not stay together. Whether a marriage that involved at least one child ends in divorce, or a one night stand results in pregnancy, or anything between, a man and woman who have a child together may go their separate ways, often going on to have more children with others. The situations are are also likely to increase due to increase in the use of donated eggs, sperm, and embryos to have a child. In addition to the various forms of adoptions, some governments, such as some states in the US, allow someone to bring a newborn to a hospital, police station, fire station, etc, and surrender custody of the child with no penalty.

As you can see, there are many situations in which close relatives, such as full or half siblings, or a parent and child, can be reunited post-puberty.



Only some reunification/first contact involves a person experiencing GSA, but some estimates are as high as 50%. Even if there is mutual attraction (both or all, if more than two experiencing GSA), it doesn't always lead to sex. However, GSA is so strong that if it is mutual, it often does lead to sex sooner or later. The sex may not last for any number of reasons. In addition to all of the other reasons people may stop having sex with each other, there are external pressures on such relationships (like criminal law and social disapproval) or a conflicted conscience on the part of one or all involved due to years of sex-police thinking being drilled into their heads.

GSA is almost always a painful path for one reason or another.

Sometimes GSA leads to lasting, happy consanguinamory, but even if any internal pain is a thing of the past, there might be pain from outside interference. That's something I am trying to help change.

With the GSA path, the people usually have established identities and lives in which they are not known as related. For example, half siblings find out about each other in their twenties; the friends and coworkers of one, or both, don't know they are related if they haven't told them. Also, they usually don't have that history of the social connection to their biological roles. They haven't been functioning as brother and sister. A son given up for adoption at birth meets his birth mother twenty years later. He has a mother: the woman who raised him, if she is still alive. Still, someone experiencing GSA may seek to have that familial relationship that would have been expected should there have never been a separation. This is not always possible; it can be very difficult. The history is not there, and nobody can go back to being nine years old; nobody can reverse time.

In GSA relationships, as with any other relationship, it usually takes time for the people get to know each other. Almost always, they find remarkable commonalities.

Those who know of their biological relation may try to break them up or separate them, sometimes by force of law. This can be especially insulting if the person or people trying to douse their love was somewhat responsible for the original situation in the first place. Their actions denied these GSA-experiencers all of the typical parent-child or sibling relationship experiences; after those experiencing GSA have reunited (or met for the first time) and found happiness with each other, this happiness is threatened or taken away.

If the lovers don't want someone else knowing that they are, in fact, lovers, they may be able to use the cover story of making up for lost time with a long-lost relative. (In actuality, an enjoyable consanguinamorous relationship is, in their case, the compensation for that lost time.)

If the sexual aspect of the relationship ends, and does so acrimoniously, the risk includes again losing a long-lost relative. However, if the relationship lasts, it can be a very exciting and fulfilling one.


The other main path to consanguinamory involves close relatives who didn't grow under the separation conditions involved in GSA. This includes cousins (who can legally marry in some places), but it also includes...
-full or half siblings, either raised in the same home or interacting throughout childhood
-parents and their adult children, either with the child raised in the parent's home or with that parent throughout childhood through shared custody or visitation
-aunts/uncles with their nieces/nephews (close in age, or after all are adults)
-grandparents and adult grandchildren.

Cousins and siblings are probably the most common examples of consanguinamory.

On this path, consanguineous sex may begin (and sometimes end) as youthful experimentation between minors who are siblings, cousins, or aunts/uncles with nieces/nephews who are close in age. Sometimes it is more than experimentation, and a full-fledged love affair develops, and may continue into a marriage in everything but (usually) law. Or, it may begin later, at any in their adult life, as young singles or after a divorce or breakup or as seniors.

The consanguinamorous dimension of a relationship, when one person is significantly older than another, such as parent-adult child, may be added at any time after the youngest person reaches the age of majority. This can and does happen without any "grooming." (Grooming and abuse cases are another matter that I'm not addressing here, as I am writing about consensual, loving, healthy relationships.)


Differences from the GSA path include that the lovers have that existing social relationship with the familial context. Consanguinamory on this path builds on that, adding another dimension. Who is more loving, caring, or trustworthy? They already know each other extremely well. Still, there is even greater potential for inner conflict than there is with GSA as one or all of the lovers deals with the notion of "this is wrong," due to years of sex-police thinking being drilled into their heads for no good reason.

Lovers on this path may have had more opportunity to share physical intimacy, but a more difficult time hiding the true reason their demeanor lights up when their (secret) lover walks into the room. However, there is a long tradition of adult siblings or parents and their adult children sharing residence, so if they develop a spousal-type relationship, it can easily be concealed from the finger-waggers with that cover.

If the sexual aspect of the relationship ends, and does so acrimoniously, the risk includes general family disruption. However, if the relationship lasts, it can be extremely intense in a positive way, full of a layered and passionate love.

As I have already said recently, most romantic or sexual relationships don't last; if they did, most of us would still be in our first ones. But they should be allowed to develop and continue, or end, on their own merits, without interference from overbearing law enforcement, bullies, or self-appointed sex police. There are happy, health, lasting consanguinamorous relationships, and I say good for everyone in them. May they continue to share their fun, joy, and love.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Coverage of Genetic Sexual Attraction Case

Ignorance abounds when it comes to Genetic Sexual Attraction, as evidenced by both many of the journalists writing about the Mistie Atkinson case and certainly the people commenting on the stories. Outlets all over the word have covered the story, most just reprinting versions of the same two or three articles. [I am bumping this up because a news outlet decided to print this story as if it just happened.]

Here it is at dailymail.co.uk. The headline?
Mom who made sex tape with son, 16, is jailed for four years... but says it was just a case of 'genetic attraction' after they were reunited after 15 years apart
That makes it sound like she was making a video to show others.
Mistie Rebecca Atkinson, 32, was sentenced to four years and eight months behind bars in Napa County Superior Court, California on Wednesday.

It came after she was found in a Ukiah, California motel room with the 16-year-old boy, who had recorded his mother giving him oral sex on his phone.
 So he recorded it.


Caught: They were found together in a motel room after relatives learned of their explicit Facebook messages
Here's the coverage at nydailynews.com.

Here is it at newsone.com.

Here it is at ktvu.com.

Even a site called eastafricanmoviedatabase.com printed the article.

Seamus O'Riley blogged the NY Daily News article.

Here is one of the comments...

equinox displayed complete ignorance of GSA... 
When is a rose not a rose? Incest by any other name smells so sweet. Let's play innocence by semantics today! 
Must be nice to be so sure that nobody else could possibly experience something you haven't.

And there were several comments from people who said she must have intended to assault him from the start. After all, why else would a woman care about seeing the person to whom she gave birth? Ignorance abounds.

Here is the inquisitr.com coverage, and the kolotv.com coverage, and the bossip.com coverage, where she is called crazy. Finally, see this blog for the same sort of thing, where she os called "sicko."

This was most certainly not incest in the sociological sense. She was not the boy's guardian. She did not raise the boy. She should be treated no more harshly than any other 32 year-old woman who does the same things with a 16 year-old boy in the state of California. If anything, the sentences in GSA cases that don't involve violence should be more lenient and focus on counseling.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

A Young Woman Denied Her Rights

By my count, this is the twenty-eighth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are denied their fundamental right to marry. This is a possible case of Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Jacquelynn is a beautiful young woman. If you want to see her NOT SAFE FOR WORK Tumblr, you can find it here.


Read the interview below and ask yourself if there is one good reason her right to love the adults she does should be denied.


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

Jacquelynn: My name is Jacquelynn. I’m a white female American of legal age. I live on the North East side of the U.S. I am the oldest blood sister of 6 (soon to be 7) siblings. None of my siblings are my full siblings. They are all my half-siblings.


FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?

No, I am not married. Nor have I ever been married.


FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship?

I am bisexual and in a genetically incestuous relationship.




FME: You currently live with…?

Roommates would be the best way to describe them.


FME: You are in a sexual relationship with your genetic half-brother?

Yes, I am. I love him so much.


FME: What kind of relationship did you and your brother have, if any, while growing up?

While growing up we had no relationship whatsoever. I didn’t end up reuniting with my little brother until I was 18. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed seeing him for the first time in so many years. But, what I wasn’t expecting was the strong attraction to him that I felt. It may seem cliché but, it was actually “love at first sight”.


FME: Do you know the term "Genetic Sexual Attraction," and if so, when did you find out about that? Do you think that is what you were feeling with your brother?

Yes, I know what “Genetic Sexual Attraction” is. I Googled it a few years ago. I do feel genetic sexual attraction to my brother, but it’s more than just the sexual attraction. I’m romantically involved with him as well. I’m in love with him.


FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?

The way that it happened initially was sudden. Allow me to explain… I've been having dreams of making love with my brother for years and it had finally gotten the better of me. Then came the hard part... I had to talk to my brother about it. When I confided in my brother I made sure to stress to him that it was only a dream and if he said no I would not be mad. It took him like a week to think about it. I agreed and waited patiently. He was shocked to say the least. But, after he got done thinking about it I can safely say that I was more shocked than him when he told me that he would like to (physically) be a part of my fantasy. I invited him over one night and when everyone was asleep we made love. For him it was his first time, with me being a few years older than him. I made sure to take it slow and I told him that if he was uncomfortable with anything that we were doing to let me know. After our first time together as lovers we were hooked. I created my blog and shortly after he created his as well. On our blogs we go by false names so that no one will know who we are. It was a very happy and floating kind of buzz. Such an amazing feeling.


FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Is it family-with-benefits, an affair, girlfriend-boyfriend, a marriage, what?

I would describe it as a few things… Family-with-benefits, lovers, best friends and girlfriend-boyfriend.


FME: You also had prior experience with your maternal uncle. How did things go with him, and why did they stop? Did anyone find out about it? How did they react?

I had approached my uncle with questions about sex and the male physical body because I was too scared to approach my parents. Little did I know that my answers would become somewhat erotic. Back then I had no idea what incest was and when I fooled around with my uncle I had no idea that it was considered 'forbidden' or 'taboo'. All I knew was that I loved my uncle and I enjoyed our private time together. I think that's where all of my incestuous urges and desires came from. My uncle and I had lost touch over the years because he lives in a different state and I had no way to contact him.

My family found out about it. In the time where we lost touch I felt hurt, used and betrayed because he left without any explanation. So, I mistakenly confided in one of my siblings. I had no idea that the sibling was going to go home and blab. I was entrusting my sibling with my deepest secret because I needed someone to talk to about it. When I got home all hell broke loose with my mother, who had no idea until then. She thought that I was lying. I was in tears because I was telling the truth and felt like she wasn't gonna believe me. My mother threatened to call my uncle and get the truth from him because she was positive that I was lying. I was so scared that he was gonna lie to save his own ass.

To my relief he confessed to everything. My mother came back to me afterwards and hugged me and apologized for calling me a liar. She informed my grandpa about it all and between the two of them they made sure to keep us apart.


FME: Some people say consanguineous eroticism is inherently kinky, but I have found that for many it doesn't feel kinky. What about for you? Some say it is the best sex they've ever had.

It is the best sex that I’ve ever had. But, I must agree that it doesn’t feel kinky.


FME: Describe your relationship with your brother now. Are you siblings or lovers or are those two roles inseparable?

We are still family (as our cover story) but, behind the scenes we are lovers and in a boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship. We do not live together. Our roles are definitely inseparable. There is definitely a huge difference between my relationship with my uncle and the one that I currently have with my brother. With my uncle we were just teasing each other because he was too scared to get caught or to get me pregnant. With Asreal we are still careful so that we don’t get caught but, at the same time it’s more than just teasing. We make love.


FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature/history of your relationship with your brother and how did they find out?

Only a few people that I have told know my full true story. The only family that knows is my uncle… I think you can understand my reasoning’s behind that. They have reacted just fine. Like it’s a normal occurrence. Sadly, we are not able to act like a couple in public. Everyone that we know knows us as siblings so it would be awkward if we were to run into some of our friends or family… We are siblings to everyone that knows us.


FME: What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy? Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been?

We have had to take every cautionary step possible. It’s been relatively easy hiding our true nature, but I hate having to hide it. I wish that everyone would accept us as a couple and be perfectly fine with it. It should be a normal thing. We are consenting adults after all!


FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other (and that you can’t truly consent)?

I would tell them to get a life that way they could leave mine alone.


FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

It would only be wrong in my eyes if the relationship was not between consenting adults.


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?

Yes, I would LOVE to marry my brother.


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing feelings for a sibling or some other relative?

I would say this: Come talk to me. My blog is always open and the advice that I would give is always true, free and personal. I normally talk to the person one-on-one and then after hearing their story and emotions I would give my advice. Also, if they would like for me to keep their advice private LET ME KNOW. Otherwise I post my advice with their original question (not the personal story) for others to read that may be having the same thoughts and situations.


FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

Sames as I just said. Come talk to me.


FME: Do you know in-person others who have had relationships like yours?

No, I do not. But, I would love to meet some.


FME: What do you have to say to anyone who says you're not for real?

You need to get out more! Relationships like this DO happen.


FME: Anything else you want to add?

If anyone needs advice you may follow me and Asreal on Tumblr.



*****

Here are their NOT SAFE FOR WORK Tumblr blogs:
http://awesomesexysister.tumblr.com/
http://the-wonderful-world-of-porn.tumblr.com/


There you have it. Consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, but who have to hide their love, denied their right to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Jacquelynn  for doing this interview!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

We Get Letters


This blog is visited by people all over the planet, and welcomes comments and I also welcome your emails and private messages. Everyone once in a while I publish some of those messages in a blog entry, which is what I’m I’m doing here.

Responding to an entry on hostility towards as grandfather-granddaughter couple, Anonymous wrote...
I would like to see an unbiased discussion of the ethical issues involved in grandfather/grandaughter mutual erotic atttaction and expression. With the ready availability of contraception, the fear of consanguinous offspring being possible is set aside. The likely negative reaction from other family members is still a very serious issue as is that of friends, etc. If the granddaughter is at or above the age of consent, the "between consenting adults" rule s h o u l d reign, but the many negative consequences would seem to outweigh the "reward."
Serious study of consanguinamorous relationships would be great.

After "Intergenerational Relationships Can Work," Anonymous wrote...
My wife and I, both 62, are in a committed relationship with a 34 year old man. This has been the most energizing invigorating experience imaginable. Jealously has never been an issue, and my wife believes that she is the luckiest woman on the planet because we love spoiling the crap out of her. Although we two guys are not bi, we are completely comfortable hugging, kissing and cuddling in bed with my wife in middle.
I asked if Jenny Erikson was stir crazy after something she wrote at TheStir on polyamory, and IchigoRadiance wrote...

 
This really caught my eye. "I can only imagine the psychological damage to a child who has to live with a revolving door of his parents’ various love interests."

This right here really has nothing to do with polyamory. Actually it sounds a lot more like what my older childhood was like. When I was in my teens after my mother divorced her abusive husband, and my, at the time step-father, she dated other men. Sometimes she dated them for long times and sometimes she dated them for short periods. Some of them had their issues, hence why she would quit dating them, so up until my eleventh grade of school, you could consider her relationships somewhat of a revolving door.

Here's the thing, while at times things were a little unstable. It wasn't because of her moving on to other men, the problems were the men themselves. By moving on, she was dumping trash, trying to find a guy that was better than all of that, and she eventually found a man who she is happy with. But she never would have found him had she stuck with any of the jerks in an attempt to keep a "stable" life.

And stable isn't exactly the word I think this person is looking for. Instead, consistent is the word. When we still lived with my ex-step-father. We had a consistent life. It masked itself as stability, but none of us were happy. It was consistent, but consistently bad.

So if say she dated more than one guy, I don't think my life or our life in general would have been all that destabilized. It might not have been consistent, but it would have been preferable to that douche who used to be her husband.

Of course, to be honest. I saw that and immediately wrote this, I went back up and saw that you talked about the revolving door as well.
IchigoRadiance also commented on "Hate Adds Pain to Genetic Sexual Attraction"...
I agree, no matter whether you both eventually end up in a relationship or not, it is best to wait until she is older.

As for if the feelings pass. I can't speak for everybody, and I myself count as someone with GSA or just someone who fell in love with his younger half-sister. But after ten years, my feelings have never disappeared. At times they have waxed and other times they have waned. But they are always there.

Anonymous self-reported after an entry on self-reporting of consanguineous sex that the first time he had sex, it was with his sister, who was three years older than him, and that they've been sexual partners for more than 12 years now, but they don't want to live together, or marry. Another person added her experiences with her brother, which included some childhood experimentation and an adult encounter.

There were a few comments left after my entry answering how common consensual incest is. One Anonymous entry recounts experimenting with his older sister and eventually moving in together as husband and wife...
Eventually after about 5 years of soul searching and testing of our love relationship,we moved to our new home as husband and wife.In our new home we had our first intercourse.It was an incredible feeling to have my thing inside her.I still love and respect her as my elder sister and abide her decisions.I always want to love her as I know she wants me only.I never want to break this relationship of love, trust,and deep understanding.We both are extremely happy together and have never felt the urge to be with someone else.We both feel extremely sad whenever we are separated for just a few hours.Now I am 55 years old and she 62 ! It has been a long journey.We have 4 daughter,three are married and well settled.while the youngest is in school.
After the entry on why consensual incest is still illegal in many places, Anonymous wrote...
The society today is rather disturbing, i see no reason that relationships between to consenting adults be illegal. As i am a female currently in a committed relationship with my [brother]. We did not grow up together due to circumstances when we were children. but after 30 years of searching for my family i found one of 5 of my siblings and the day we met was like magic, i instantly felt a fire start to burn inside and it wasnt that of us finding each other after so long it was instant love. i have waited my whole life for this feeling and the moment i saw my brother i knew he was the one.. we dont have to worry about having children cause i am fixed and we just want to be together.. is there any place we can go and have a open relationship. it pains both of us to have to hid it from everyone.. 
Liz Smith, a longtime friend of this blog, commented on an entry about female animals who mate with their close male relatives...
All I will say is that inbreeding does not automatically lead to children with problems. I have talked with people who were inbred, or who had children with family members, and I have not heard of any who had problems as a result of it. I myself had a daughter with my brother and she has turned out just fine. I am aware that constant inbreeding, generation after generation, can possibly lead to problems, but often times it is not as big a problem as many make it out to be.
IchigoRadiance commented again after that entry, too...
When people bring up the mutated baby argument, they forget that most problems arose from several generations of inbreeding. Which coincides with what you said. Most children born from consanguinamory are healthy,

Those that use cases such as royalty don't realize that that is a case where inbreeding was encouraged if not outright demanded. Most of it was to consolidate power. In the modern day, under non-abuse, most people will not choose to date or have children with a family member, and the frequency is not to be worried about. In other words, I think we would have to require inbreeding for it to become a problem. As it is, tolerance and/or acceptance won't cause it.

The other part of the coin is that our technology has improved, so we can easily tell if the child will have problems.

If people want to support eugenics, they need to do so on a consistent level and base it on more practically. They don't really care right now about the child, just filling a moral quota to show off.
Liz commented on a couple of more entries. After "Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory" she wrote...
It happened between me and my brother. Why? Not because of abuse, but because we were close when younger and as we got older we fell in love. I love him, and I wish the world would accept relationships like ours. We will always be together. We have a daughter and may have more children one day. I know that we will have to explain our situation to them and help them understand, but nobody is ever going to convince me that loving my brother is wrong because I know in my heart that it is right.
After "Consanguinamory and Reproduction" she wrote...
I am in a relationship with my brother. My story is available on this blog here. My brother and I have a daughter together. She is perfectly healthy and happy, and we do plan to have more children. I've chatted with many people who had or who were incest children and they turned out fine. I believe that the risks are simply not as bad as we have been led to believe.
After "She Has Been Denied Her Freedom to Marry," Anonymous wrote...
I love what you had to say it was hard for me and my son at first but now we enjoy so much in each other. We both have one thing that turns both of us on and that is we both like the idea of us having sex with other people to. My son and I enjoy seeing each other in that way, sharing one another's love with others at times or all at the same time. This is keep all between us all. I never knew their was other family lovers like us untill now. We have changed other family's minds on this matter, once they gave it a try they agree that incest can be the most loving thing in the world to have between family members and friends alike.
And finally, after "He's on Cloud Nine," Anonymous wrote...
My mother and I began a consanguniumaous relationship with my mother when she was 48 and I was 28. Her second husband was dying of cancer and in a moment of weakness we both gave in to our urges and had sex. We were a couple for nearly six years when we decided not to risk anyone finding out so we stopped living together.

Although my mother got pregnant with our child she had a miscarriage and even though we not trying for a child my mother and I were hopeful she would get pregnant again but she began menopause and that was that.
 
We are still sexually active, even today but, like most relationships it has changed to us getting together occasionally to remember the strong love we still have for each other.
Thanks again to all who comment or who send emails or private messages.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

What Do Montana and Zambia Have in Common?

Both places criminally prosecute adults for consensual sex. We told you in this posting how a family was being broken up by the prosecution of siblings who had been living as spouses. Barbara Chanda gives this infuriating update at daily-mail.co.zm...
MINISTER of Community Development, Mother and Child Health Joseph Kasonde says the ministry is assessing the plight of the abandoned children of the incestuous couple of Serenje.
Dr Katema said it was unfortunate that the innocent children have been abandoned by their extended family and the community.
Their parents shouldn't have been taken away from them in the first place!
After Nicholas Mukuwa Bulaya, 38, and Bertha Chipapuka, 35, were arrested and charged for incest, their relatives and community abandoned the five children, who are now reportedly living on their own at their parents’ farm.

This problem is one the authorities have created for themselves, and children are suffering as a result.

And yes, Montana is still going ahead with a prosecution as well, one that we told you about in this posting. Emily Foster reports at abcfoxmontana.com...

A man accused of having consensual sex with his 19-year-old daughter pleads not guilty in Missoula District Court.

Russell Smith, 48, is charged with one felony count of incest.

Court documents show Smith moved from Alaska to Missoula to live with his daughter and her roommate.

The girl's roommate called police when she learned Smith and his daughter were having sex, and were planning to get married.

The roommate is a rat. Prosecuting adults for CONSENSUAL sex is ridiculous. Let them be together, and let them marry.

Two examples of why relationship rights and full marriage equality are needed for ALL adults.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Successful GSA Relationships


There is a split in the Genetic Sexual Attraction community, as I have noted before. I checked out a certain other site's posting with the same title as this entry. Below, I analyze what was written.
We often get this question- Are there any successful GSA relationships?
To answer the question... YES!

Are people in such relationships willing to do interviews that reveal their identities? Almost never.
Or the media will inquire about speaking with GSA couples living in the shadows of society afraid to announce they are actually reunited family members living as lovers.

I don't think many of those couples (or triads) are likely to keep in friendly contact with these negative naysayers. I know some who don't, and they ceased contact after they took over an established forum where people had long been contributing.
The more I work with the GSA community the more I hear about heartbreak and pain, because most often these relationships do not work.
Because that is that is who you attract! You take a negative attitude towards GSA and you offer sex-negative counseling for people who are having problems. What happy lovers are going to bother to come to you, especially if they have to pay money (leaving an clear, easily obtainable trail of evidence some ridiculous prosecutor could use) just to use your forum?

Most romantic/sexual relationships do not "work" if you mean by that "lasting for a lifetime and that lifetime not ending in the murder of one by the other." Most relationships break up, or most of us would still be in our first relationships. But there ARE lasting, happy, loving and very passionate relationships initiated through GSA.


Some have been able to maintain a romantic GSA relationship for a few months and even for a few years. However, these relationships frequently end.  And when they end the two reunited family members do not only loose their lover but they lose their family member.

What is this, middle school? As with other sexual relationships, some relationships started through GSA become nonsexual but are still warm, friendly, and loving.

Then they go on to narrow what they'd consider as "successful."
Is a successful GSA relationship when two reunited family members fall in love and embark on a romantic journey fighting against all the naysayers and making it work?  Or is a successful GSA relationship learning how to manage the feelings of GSA, not commit incest, and waiting for the feelings [to become nonsexual] to maintain a [nonsexual] healthy family relationship for life?

Why can't both of those be considered successful? They have set up a false dichotomy.
Is a favorable outcome in GSA one that involves; secrecy, lies, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, hurt, pinning, depression, anxiety, and breaking establish marriages and families apart? Is a favorable outcome in GSA one that involves two family members living in secrecy constantly looking over their shoulders in fear someone will find out and report their relationship to the authorities?
These are the very same arguments that have been used against interracial relationships, same-gender relationships, interfaith relationships, on and on it goes. For many people, the only problem  other than little issues found in any relationship is the bigotry of others, sometimes included in laws. And sadly, these people are not helping that situation; they are making it worse. "Oh, it's the law. Women can't vote. Oh, it's the law. You have to give up your bus seat to that white man. Oh, it's the law. You can't buy contraception. Oh, it's the law. You can't love each other like that!"

So what about relationships in places where it is legal, and there's no "secrecy, lies, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, hurt, pinning, depression, anxiety," or breaking families apart? Are they on record as being supportive of such relationships?
Choosing a path to commit incest with a reunited family member because of GSA does not lead to a favorable outcome as evidence continues to show these relationships do not work and it is illegal in almost all the States and countries.
Well, sure, if you ignore all of the evidence going against your bias, and again, those laws are discriminatory and should be dumped, just like other laws against consensual sex between adults. Consanguinamorous relationships are not rare.
A favorable outcome, a successful GSA relationship, is one that has respect, truth, kindness and joy not only between the two reunited family members but for the whole extended family system including spouses, children and other family members.

That's one ideal, sure, and that may include sex and even a spousal relationship. We can make that happen more often by eliminating or greatly reducing prejudices, including those expressed in law. Even if someone wants to avoid or stop a sexual connection, that is going to be easier to achieve without bigotry and ridiculous laws. The negativity makes things worse.

People frustrated in their own relationships might discourage others. People looking for widespread attention might suck up to the status quo in terms of popular prejudices. The fact is, though, that there are people who are in successful relationships that involve lovemaking that were initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction and there's no good reason to discourage or discriminate against these relationships, legally or otherwise.

I recommend this forum dealing specifically with Genetic Sexual Attraction. For consanguinamorous relationships in general, whether they've involved GSA or not, I know of no better place than Kindred Spirits forum (but be sure to immediate read AND follow all of the rules or you'll be kicked right off.) The host service of KS has been experiencing technical issues, unfortunately, but the forum is great. Both of these forums are FREE to you.

We CAN make things better for people experiencing GSA!

It is up to people to decide for themselves and with each other what course their relationship will take.

Successful GSA Relationships


There is a split in the Genetic Sexual Attraction community, as I have noted before. I checked out a certain other site's posting with the same title as this entry. Below, I analyze what was written.
We often get this question- Are there any successful GSA relationships?
To answer the question... YES!

Are people in such relationships willing to do interviews that reveal their identities? Almost never.
Or the media will inquire about speaking with GSA couples living in the shadows of society afraid to announce they are actually reunited family members living as lovers.

I don't think many of those couples (or triads) are likely to keep in friendly contact with these negative naysayers. I know some who don't, and they ceased contact after they took over an established forum where people had long been contributing.
The more I work with the GSA community the more I hear about heartbreak and pain, because most often these relationships do not work.
Because that is that is who you attract! You take a negative attitude towards GSA and you offer sex-negative counseling for people who are having problems. What happy lovers are going to bother to come to you, especially if they have to pay money (leaving an clear, easily obtainable trail of evidence some ridiculous prosecutor could use) just to use your forum?

Most romantic/sexual relationships do not "work" if you mean by that "lasting for a lifetime and that lifetime not ending in the murder of one by the other." Most relationships break up, or most of us would still be in our first relationships. But there ARE lasting, happy, loving and very passionate relationships initiated through GSA.


Some have been able to maintain a romantic GSA relationship for a few months and even for a few years. However, these relationships frequently end.  And when they end the two reunited family members do not only loose their lover but they lose their family member.

What is this, middle school? As with other sexual relationships, some relationships started through GSA become nonsexual but are still warm, friendly, and loving.

Then they go on to narrow what they'd consider as "successful."
Is a successful GSA relationship when two reunited family members fall in love and embark on a romantic journey fighting against all the naysayers and making it work?  Or is a successful GSA relationship learning how to manage the feelings of GSA, not commit incest, and waiting for the feelings [to become nonsexual] to maintain a [nonsexual] healthy family relationship for life?

Why can't both of those be considered successful? They have set up a false dichotomy.
Is a favorable outcome in GSA one that involves; secrecy, lies, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, hurt, pinning, depression, anxiety, and breaking establish marriages and families apart? Is a favorable outcome in GSA one that involves two family members living in secrecy constantly looking over their shoulders in fear someone will find out and report their relationship to the authorities?
These are the very same arguments that have been used against interracial relationships, same-gender relationships, interfaith relationships, on and on it goes. For many people, the only problem  other than little issues found in any relationship is the bigotry of others, sometimes included in laws. And sadly, these people are not helping that situation; they are making it worse. "Oh, it's the law. Women can't vote. Oh, it's the law. You have to give up your bus seat to that white man. Oh, it's the law. You can't buy contraception. Oh, it's the law. You can't love each other like that!"

So what about relationships in places where it is legal, and there's no "secrecy, lies, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, hurt, pinning, depression, anxiety," or breaking families apart? Are they on record as being supportive of such relationships?
Choosing a path to commit incest with a reunited family member because of GSA does not lead to a favorable outcome as evidence continues to show these relationships do not work and it is illegal in almost all the States and countries.
Well, sure, if you ignore all of the evidence going against your bias, and again, those laws are discriminatory and should be dumped, just like other laws against consensual sex between adults. Consanguinamorous relationships are not rare.
A favorable outcome, a successful GSA relationship, is one that has respect, truth, kindness and joy not only between the two reunited family members but for the whole extended family system including spouses, children and other family members.

That's one ideal, sure, and that may include sex and even a spousal relationship. We can make that happen more often by eliminating or greatly reducing prejudices, including those expressed in law. Even if someone wants to avoid or stop a sexual connection, that is going to be easier to achieve without bigotry and ridiculous laws. The negativity makes things worse.

People frustrated in their own relationships might discourage others. People looking for widespread attention might suck up to the status quo in terms of popular prejudices. The fact is, though, that there are people who are in successful relationships that involve lovemaking that were initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction and there's no good reason to discourage or discriminate against these relationships, legally or otherwise.

I recommend this forum dealing specifically with Genetic Sexual Attraction. For consanguinamorous relationships in general, whether they've involved GSA or not, I know of no better place than Kindred Spirits forum (but be sure to immediate read AND follow all of the rules or you'll be kicked right off.) The host service of KS has been experiencing technical issues, unfortunately, but the forum is great. Both of these forums are FREE to you.

We CAN make things better for people experiencing GSA!

It is up to people to decide for themselves and with each other what course their relationship will take.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

We Get Letters

This blog is visited by people all over the planet, and welcomes comments and I also welcome your emails and private messages. Everyone once in a while I publish some of those messages in a blog entry, which is what I’m I’m doing here.

Our entry Frequently Asked Question: How Common is Incest? is consistently the most popular entry. An anonymous hater left this comment, which I didn’t publish…
My God people, you are so sick. I just need to go and vomit now.
Very rarely is a criticism of any substance left.

Helena left a comment after another FAQ response that answers why consanguineous sex is still illegal in many places.

i REALLY wish people would not use the term inbreeding , a child is born of love in a consensual consanguinious relationship and inbreeding makes me feel like the sow on a pig farm LOL

Most children born to close relatives are healthy and look like anyone else. Many of them are better-looking.

After the entry explaining why I prefer the term consanguineous, Anonymous wrote…


have to say here that the daughter born to my uncle and me is both beautiful and smart , shes funny , loves to paint and draw , read and dance and in NO way do I see her as " unable " to have a good life , shes happy and loved and a sweet kind person. So its not always a bad situation
Someone asked after this entry on how hate adds pain to GSA situations
I got specific question for which I was unable to find an answer.

I met my half-sister, two months from now, she is fifteen, and I have never seen her before. We developed strong feeling for each other, and I was feeling wrong about it, before I found out about GSA and reverse imprinting. I do love her, but I just can't be with her, before she is 18 (meaning psychically an adult, i dont want her to become psychically unstable bacuse of teen relationships with her brother).

And my question about it is, does GSA disappear trough that time period, do I have a change to be with her in close relationship 3 years later from now? It may be rather silly question, but still it is the only one I need answer for... Thanks
This was my reply…
It is NOT a silly question. I know people who resisted their GSA attractions for a lot longer than 3 years, and still were strongly attracted to each other. When they finally got together in every sense of the word, they felt like kicking themselves for having resisted. But I do think it is wise to heed the age of consent laws.

It is possible that if you spend time together regularly without sexual affection and have sex lives with other people, that your feelings for each other will transition to minimize sexual attraction, but I can't guarantee that.

The bottom line is that it is a good idea to hold off for now.
BrotherHobo left a comment after this interview
I am envious of sibling couples like Liz and Ryan who have successfully managed to create a life together. Far too many other brother/sister couples have been driven apart, either by the fear of being caught and punished, or just the likelihood of condemnation of friends and family. Even more still live a double life, perhaps even are married to others, and meet secretly for a few hours together. Gays and lesbians lived like this in the past, and are slowly gaining acceptance. Oddly enough, though, although they see their own sexual lives as "normal," the LGBT community often denigrate incestuous couples as "sick" and "perverted." I find that to be more than just a little ironic. It is rare to encounter a practicing incestuous couple with enough courage to come out. Mostly, they are living secret lives, either masquerading as a non-sanguineous married couple, or living the lie of dating outside their real relationship and pretending to the outside world to simply be brother and sister who are very close.

The fear of discovery and condemnation is so great that sibling couples who actually figured out ways to "date" one another in high school, who attended high-school proms and football games and church together as teenagers are often driven apart by other family members' suspicious questions, or even being caught together in compromising circumstances. That fear, while probably once based around parents or other siblings finding out about their relationship, morphs into fear of one's spouse, or one's children finding out, and over time the love takes a beating and begins to flicker. Some even declare the relationship to be "just a phase" or "just an ill-advised affair." Some separate deliberately, in the hopes of extinguishing that love. But it doesn't die easily, and can last a lifetime, even while separated by years and hundreds of miles.
Anonymous wrote after Successful GSA Relationships
im currently struggling in GSA.. my nephew and i are in the same age. we grew up separately because my brother and his mom were separated.. since we were a kid, i knew i was attracted to him.. im happy when he is around but i dont talked to him much because im afraid he might notice that im attracted to him.. we were in highscool when he had his summer with us.. we were both grown ups, and there goes my feelings again.. i thought i would just ignore him again.. but he seems so interested talking to me.. he even got my number and we talked to each other as much as possible.. it was then when he admitted that he loves me and so i also admitted to him that i feel the same.. but im so afraid that my family might know about us so i stop talking to him which makes him sad and avoided me eventually. i decided to share it with my sister to seek advice.. but she didnt understands me and worst she told everyone in the family about that.. i was merely moved on.. i had a family of my own and have a child at my young age, but we separated in just few months and raise my child alone. i thought i would never ever fall for anyone again.. until he came back, my nephew.. my heart was filled with happiness when i saw him again.. he stayed for three weeks for vacation and we were un separable, we got every chances we had to show how much we mean to each other.. we were like a couple.. my family warned me so we did it discreetly.. and when he was about to leave he told me that he is living with a girl and it almost breaks me.. all our sweet memories were replaced by sadness.. and he felt bad about that.. but he wants me to go with him and he will leave his girl.. but i cant, i cant leave my one year old son.. and im afraid.. we might lose our family, and there is no turning back if we will do that.. but i cant bear the thought of him sleeping with a girl.. please help me i need advice, how can i make this relationship successful..
It is much easier for me to share advice when someone contacts me via email or private message, so we can have a dialogue.

Anonymous wrote after our most popular posting
Consensual incest between siblings who were raised together as such is almost always a more dominant sibling coercing a passive one into sexual situations. I don't care how you try to rationalize it. It's wrong and it will mess the passive one up. The only time I've seen otherwise is when both siblings are being abused and/or molested and they bond together through the abuse and sometimes become sexually involved with each other. That doesn't turn out well either.
How does Anonymous “know” this? Perhaps based on people who have complained to therapists or law enforcement? But of course, most of the people who have neutral or positive experiences with consanguineous sex or consanguinamory (and there have been many) would never tell any sociologist or law enforcement.

Anonymous left a comment after An Aunt and Nephew Ponder Coming Out
my soul mate is also related to me in a similar way. one of his parents is my half sibling but we didnt grow up together, we fell in love as adults. we were in relationships where we were not happy so we left them and now we are the happiest we've ever been. though we do not tell our families, they can only speculate... there is no way to tell people, they would never understand. but we
Anonymous wrote after Rights Aren’t Reserved For the Majority
Lol as always when I feel in need of a some sanity I find right here on your website . As someone who is happy in a consanguinamorous relationship but who was forced to do therapy by my family I know that I personally just shut down and refused to talk about how I felt , all I wanted to do was get out that room and back into my uncles arms . Its like he says " the one person who has to be ok with who you are is you because at the end of the day there is no getting away from your self ." I am happy now we live as we want and can be open loving and real with each other .
Finally, I wanted to offer a “confidential” to Anynomous, who left a comment that I didn’t publish…

The people I interview choose what, if any, name to go by when I print their interviews. If they request it, I will include their contact information. If they use their real name or a name they’ve used elsewhere, or are completely anonymous, that is up to them. I did have one person provide an email address and nickname that this person soon requested I remove, and I did. Someone else provided an email address that has remained. I will never intentionally “out” someone without their consent, with the possible exception of someone who has publicly sought to deny relationship rights to other adults. If someone is taking a public stance against full marriage equality or relationship rights for any adults and is secretly in the closet themselves, they should be exposed.

We Get Letters

This blog is visited by people all over the planet, and welcomes comments and I also welcome your emails and private messages. Everyone once in a while I publish some of those messages in a blog entry, which is what I’m I’m doing here.

Our entry Frequently Asked Question: How Common is Incest? is consistently the most popular entry. An anonymous hater left this comment, which I didn’t publish…
My God people, you are so sick. I just need to go and vomit now.
Very rarely is a criticism of any substance left.

Helena left a comment after another FAQ response that answers why consanguineous sex is still illegal in many places.

i REALLY wish people would not use the term inbreeding , a child is born of love in a consensual consanguinious relationship and inbreeding makes me feel like the sow on a pig farm LOL

Most children born to close relatives are healthy and look like anyone else. Many of them are better-looking.

After the entry explaining why I prefer the term consanguineous, Anonymous wrote…


have to say here that the daughter born to my uncle and me is both beautiful and smart , shes funny , loves to paint and draw , read and dance and in NO way do I see her as " unable " to have a good life , shes happy and loved and a sweet kind person. So its not always a bad situation
Someone asked after this entry on how hate adds pain to GSA situations
I got specific question for which I was unable to find an answer.

I met my half-sister, two months from now, she is fifteen, and I have never seen her before. We developed strong feeling for each other, and I was feeling wrong about it, before I found out about GSA and reverse imprinting. I do love her, but I just can't be with her, before she is 18 (meaning psychically an adult, i dont want her to become psychically unstable bacuse of teen relationships with her brother).

And my question about it is, does GSA disappear trough that time period, do I have a change to be with her in close relationship 3 years later from now? It may be rather silly question, but still it is the only one I need answer for... Thanks
This was my reply…
It is NOT a silly question. I know people who resisted their GSA attractions for a lot longer than 3 years, and still were strongly attracted to each other. When they finally got together in every sense of the word, they felt like kicking themselves for having resisted. But I do think it is wise to heed the age of consent laws.

It is possible that if you spend time together regularly without sexual affection and have sex lives with other people, that your feelings for each other will transition to minimize sexual attraction, but I can't guarantee that.

The bottom line is that it is a good idea to hold off for now.
BrotherHobo left a comment after this interview
I am envious of sibling couples like Liz and Ryan who have successfully managed to create a life together. Far too many other brother/sister couples have been driven apart, either by the fear of being caught and punished, or just the likelihood of condemnation of friends and family. Even more still live a double life, perhaps even are married to others, and meet secretly for a few hours together. Gays and lesbians lived like this in the past, and are slowly gaining acceptance. Oddly enough, though, although they see their own sexual lives as "normal," the LGBT community often denigrate incestuous couples as "sick" and "perverted." I find that to be more than just a little ironic. It is rare to encounter a practicing incestuous couple with enough courage to come out. Mostly, they are living secret lives, either masquerading as a non-sanguineous married couple, or living the lie of dating outside their real relationship and pretending to the outside world to simply be brother and sister who are very close.

The fear of discovery and condemnation is so great that sibling couples who actually figured out ways to "date" one another in high school, who attended high-school proms and football games and church together as teenagers are often driven apart by other family members' suspicious questions, or even being caught together in compromising circumstances. That fear, while probably once based around parents or other siblings finding out about their relationship, morphs into fear of one's spouse, or one's children finding out, and over time the love takes a beating and begins to flicker. Some even declare the relationship to be "just a phase" or "just an ill-advised affair." Some separate deliberately, in the hopes of extinguishing that love. But it doesn't die easily, and can last a lifetime, even while separated by years and hundreds of miles.
Anonymous wrote after Successful GSA Relationships
im currently struggling in GSA.. my nephew and i are in the same age. we grew up separately because my brother and his mom were separated.. since we were a kid, i knew i was attracted to him.. im happy when he is around but i dont talked to him much because im afraid he might notice that im attracted to him.. we were in highscool when he had his summer with us.. we were both grown ups, and there goes my feelings again.. i thought i would just ignore him again.. but he seems so interested talking to me.. he even got my number and we talked to each other as much as possible.. it was then when he admitted that he loves me and so i also admitted to him that i feel the same.. but im so afraid that my family might know about us so i stop talking to him which makes him sad and avoided me eventually. i decided to share it with my sister to seek advice.. but she didnt understands me and worst she told everyone in the family about that.. i was merely moved on.. i had a family of my own and have a child at my young age, but we separated in just few months and raise my child alone. i thought i would never ever fall for anyone again.. until he came back, my nephew.. my heart was filled with happiness when i saw him again.. he stayed for three weeks for vacation and we were un separable, we got every chances we had to show how much we mean to each other.. we were like a couple.. my family warned me so we did it discreetly.. and when he was about to leave he told me that he is living with a girl and it almost breaks me.. all our sweet memories were replaced by sadness.. and he felt bad about that.. but he wants me to go with him and he will leave his girl.. but i cant, i cant leave my one year old son.. and im afraid.. we might lose our family, and there is no turning back if we will do that.. but i cant bear the thought of him sleeping with a girl.. please help me i need advice, how can i make this relationship successful..
It is much easier for me to share advice when someone contacts me via email or private message, so we can have a dialogue.

Anonymous wrote after our most popular posting
Consensual incest between siblings who were raised together as such is almost always a more dominant sibling coercing a passive one into sexual situations. I don't care how you try to rationalize it. It's wrong and it will mess the passive one up. The only time I've seen otherwise is when both siblings are being abused and/or molested and they bond together through the abuse and sometimes become sexually involved with each other. That doesn't turn out well either.
How does Anonymous “know” this? Perhaps based on people who have complained to therapists or law enforcement? But of course, most of the people who have neutral or positive experiences with consanguineous sex or consanguinamory (and there have been many) would never tell any sociologist or law enforcement.

Anonymous left a comment after An Aunt and Nephew Ponder Coming Out
my soul mate is also related to me in a similar way. one of his parents is my half sibling but we didnt grow up together, we fell in love as adults. we were in relationships where we were not happy so we left them and now we are the happiest we've ever been. though we do not tell our families, they can only speculate... there is no way to tell people, they would never understand. but we
Anonymous wrote after Rights Aren’t Reserved For the Majority
Lol as always when I feel in need of a some sanity I find right here on your website . As someone who is happy in a consanguinamorous relationship but who was forced to do therapy by my family I know that I personally just shut down and refused to talk about how I felt , all I wanted to do was get out that room and back into my uncles arms . Its like he says " the one person who has to be ok with who you are is you because at the end of the day there is no getting away from your self ." I am happy now we live as we want and can be open loving and real with each other .
Finally, I wanted to offer a “confidential” to Anynomous, who left a comment that I didn’t publish…

The people I interview choose what, if any, name to go by when I print their interviews. If they request it, I will include their contact information. If they use their real name or a name they’ve used elsewhere, or are completely anonymous, that is up to them. I did have one person provide an email address and nickname that this person soon requested I remove, and I did. Someone else provided an email address that has remained. I will never intentionally “out” someone without their consent, with the possible exception of someone who has publicly sought to deny relationship rights to other adults. If someone is taking a public stance against full marriage equality or relationship rights for any adults and is secretly in the closet themselves, they should be exposed.

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