Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Possible GSA Case Makes News


Not everyone who is arrested or prosecuted for consensual sex is a sympathetic person overall. Sometimes, they've done other things that should continue to be crimes. Regardless of whether someone is a career criminal or a true pillar of the community, consensual relationships and sex between adults should not be a crime, and should not be fodder for ridicule in what are supposed to be serious news services. Stories like the one below are not justification to deny full marriage equality. For every situation like the one detailed below, there are many great people who are in consanguinamorous relationships and you never heard about them. Or, they are famous and admired, but their consanguinamory remains closeted.

Here is Lee Moran's article at nydailynews.com...

A Texas meth-head and his sister confessed to incest after they were caught passionately kissing in prison, police said.

Charlene Ellet, 25, and her brother Cameron Beck, 26, were allegedly busted locking lips between jail cell bars after getting arrested for possession of meth.

The Houston duo now faces prohibited sexual conduct charges on top of the initial drug allegations.
So this happened in Texas but is in a New York newspaper. Why?

Montgomery County Police Reporter said that the pair was picked up at a Wal-Mart on Friday after Ellet was caught stealing.

Deputies detained Beck, who'd driven his sister and her 2-year-old twin girls to the store, after finding traces of meth in his car.

Taken to Montgomery County Jail and placed in neighboring cells, deputies said they were stunned when the pair started kissing each other on the lips through the bars.

They should have learned from this. Texas is one of the worst states when it comes to consanguinamory. Here's why I think this is a possible case of Genetic Sexual Attraction...

Confirming they were siblings, Ellet said they had the same biological mom but that she had been adopted.

She revealed they struck up a pen pal relationship as Beck was in prison and hooked up on his release in November.

The couple lived in a motel room with Ellet's two daughters, and would often have sex behind a partition as the two girls watched TV.

Here's the coverage at examiner.com.

Here's the coverage at opposingviews.com.


Here's what appears to be the original source, montgomerycountypolicereporter.com.


And dailymail.co.uk had to carry it, too.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Newspaper Editorial Calls For Hate

A newspaper in Zambia is calling for more hate in response to recent shocking discoveries that people are loving each other even though they are siblings. Here is the editorial at daily-mail.co.zm...

THE continued reports of incestuous marriages in Central Province are worrying and raise many social and psychological questions.
What is there to worry about?

We urge relevant Government organs and non-governmental organisations to carry out a research to establish if this could be widespread and unravel the factors that could be driving people in this particular province into such marriages.

Yes, it is common. What is driving them to it is usually the same thing that drives any lovers.

This kind of behaviour should not be allowed to take root because it could have devastating social and biological consequences.

Such as...? Such as...? They got nuthin'.
Human beings are not animals that are ruled by instinct. We are ruled by reason.
Some of us are ruled by reason. Others want to interfere in the marriages of strangers.

Surely, how could a brother and sister have the courage to engage in a sexual relationship and even have children between them?
I can show you video.
This does not happen even in the most liberal and morally depraved western societies.
This happens everywhere and always has.
Incest is a criminal offence in Zambia.
Not for any good reason

It is disturbing to imagine the stigma the innocent children that could be born out of such a perverted marriage would have to endure.

Uh, then stop stigmatizing them.

What a pile of crap that editorial is. I hope the person who wrote it doesn't actually get paid for that drivel.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

New Republic Insults Hundreds of Millions

Alice Robb wrote at "The Strange Scholarship of Incest" at newrepublic.com...
Whether or not Meryl Streep deserves to win Best Actress for her turn as the deranged matriarch in August: Osage County is up for debate, but everyone who’s seen Tracy Letts’s play or the film adaptation should be able to agree on at least one thing: It makes for some uncomfortable viewing. And of all the disturbing elements that make up this saga—alcoholism, suicide, adultery—there’s one plotline that stands out as truly disturbing: the incestuous romance between Ivy and Little Charles, who believe they’re first cousins but—spoiler alert—turn out to be half-siblings.

Why is that disturbing?

Disgust seems like a pretty appropriate response to an affair between cousins, but historically, in societies around the world, marriage between cousins has been accepted and even encouraged.

And yet she calls it disgusting anyway, insulting hundreds of millions of people, including her own ancestors. Then she gets into that big question...
Is the taboo against incest a biological universal, or is it culturally derived? And if it’s a cultural construct, why is it so widespread?

Ultimately, when it comes to whether or not consenting adults should have their rights, the answer to that question isn't relevant.

“I’m not saying that it’s fine, but I think the genetic risks of incest are probably overestimated,” said Diane Paul, a professor at the University of Massachusetts Boston whose research focuses on the history of evolution and genetics.

It certainly is.

“It’s assumed it would be higher, but there’s a huge bias of ascertainment,” she explains. “If you have a baby [that’s the product of incest] with a problem, people say, ‘Oh, that’s why,’ but if the baby is healthy, no one says, ‘Look at that healthy baby’ [that’s the product of incest].”

DING! We have a winner.

“In terms of genetic distance, a half-sibling relationship is equivalent to an uncle-niece relationship or a double first cousin relationship” [double first cousins share both sets of grandparents], both of which are quite common in different societies,” says Alan Bittles, a researcher at the Centre for Comparative Genomics at Murdoch University in Australia.

Double first cousins can legally marry in some US states.

The article then gets into Westermarck.

It is very simple... if YOU are disgusted by something, don't do it. But it is rude, cruel, and unjust to try to stop consenting adults in love from being together.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Novels to Buy

[Bumping this up... just because!]

I’m not going to pretend I can give an unbiased review of Diane Rinella’s new book, Time’s Forbidden Flower, which completes the story began in Love’s Forbidden Flower, the novel I first blogged about here. After all, I have been in ongoing contact with Rinella and the plot of the works involves something near and dear to my heart. Also, I may have influenced this latest work. There’s a third work involved: "Love’s Erotic Flower," a short story which was released between the two novels and is a sizzling detailing of the sexual coupling (over multiple encounters) between the main characters.

One need not read the novels to enjoy "Erotic" nor read "Erotic" to enjoy the novels, but both novels should be read in sequence, and to only reason to avoid "Erotic" if you enjoy the first novel is if you hate to get aroused by fiction.

I can’t recommend all three works more strongly. I even like the cover art.



Lily and Donovan are soulmates, complete with a mutual erotic and romantic attraction. They happen to be brother and sister as well. Yes, this story involves consanguinamory, which is something some people find shocking or disgusting, but is something that is experienced on some level by enough people that you do know someone who has been, or is involved, whether you know it or not.

That’s why these works of fiction are more than just something that is engaging. They are important. They are important because there are people who will identify with the characters and will no longer feel so alone. Although the forbidden nature of the issue is addressed multiple times, the “i” word is never spoken, nor is there a lecturing of the reader on all the points you will find here. I don't recall that she ever explains that in Rhode Island, the home state of the characters, their love is not criminalized as it still is in most US states. This is a story about forbidden love from a writer with strong empathy that may get people to think and feel differently than they did when they picked it up, but not a contrived polemic.

Rinella does not chicken out by going the stepsibling route or through some other escape hatch. Lily and Donovan are blood siblings, who grew up together. However, there are twists I didn’t see coming. I thought things might go in one direction and they went another. This is not a simple straight line, but neither is it something that is convoluted to the point of losing the reader. The characters seem real, complete with real flaws. Not everything happens exactly the way the reader might want when wanted, and not everything is tied up in a pretty bow by the end. Yet, the satisfactory payoffs are there. It is just that Rinella draws the reader in to make them feel the hot and cold of a good multi-course meal, rather than spoonfeeding them lukewarm junk food.

I noticed that at least one character is polyamorous in the sense of being able to truly love more than one person at the same time.

The novels are for anyone who wants to read a modern tale of still-forbidden love, or anyone who wants to read a realistic account of consanguinamory, or anyone who is in or knows someone who is in or has been involved in such a relationship. Or, maybe you simply prefer a good story about love and family that pretty much spans the lifetime of the main characters.

They are not for anyone who is absolutely unwilling to give a romance between siblings any consideration. (If that is you, I’m surprised you’re still here reading my blog.)

How nice it is to have something that treats this love between sibings with dignity and depth. I would very much like to see these works adapted for the screen.

Have I been clear enough?  Buy all three!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Bus Sighting at Media Matters

Luke Brinker at mediamatters.org, in responding to an anti-equality column by twice-divorced-now-in-third-marriage radio talk show host and author, Dennis Prager, threw polyamorous and consanguinamorous people under the bus.
Prager's prediction dovetails with those of other marriage equality opponents who similarly suggest that necrophilia and bestiality might become commonly accepted practices if gay couples are allowed to marry. But in the 10 years since Massachusetts became the first state to legalize marriage equality, there hasn't been a rush to legalize polygamous unions. Meanwhile, most states that allow incestuous marriages are right-leaning states where same-sex marriage currently isn't allowed.
As Slate's Dahlia Lithwick has observed, the problem with "slippery slope" arguments of the kind advanced by Prager is that they ignore the deep differences between allowing a committed, loving same-sex couple to get married and permitting, say, a brother and sister to get married. Incestuous relationships, Lithwick notes, are often exploitative and psychologically destructive, with severe consequences for children's health.

Here is how I responded in the comments (with links added here for further reading)...
 
The response to bigots when they bring up polygamy and consanguinamory is "What's wrong with letting consenting adults marry?" Please note that under our broad legal systems, corpses and other species (necrophilia and bestiality) are not considered consenting adults. However, a consenting adult might want to marry more than one person, or marry a close relative. When (white) women got the right to vote, there wasn't a rush for voting rights for people of color, and when Loving v. Virginia knocked down bans on monogamous interracial marriages, there wasn't a rush to grant to same-gender freedom to marry, but there should have been.

It is unfair to say that incestuous relationships are often exploitative and psychology destructive. That is ABUSIVE relationships in general, which can include complete strangers and interracial couples same-gender couples. Also, it is the abusive relationships that tend to come to the attention of law enforcement and counselors. Nobody in a good relationship is calling up a shrink or law enforcement and saying, "Hey, I just want to tell you I'm in an incestuous relationship and it is great!"

The "mutant baby" argument is a smokescreen. First of all, some consanguinamorous relationships involve only people of the same gender. Yes, they are gay marriages, so to speak. I have interviewed people in these relationships myself. Secondly, marriage shouldn't be equated with baby-making. Not all mixed-gender relationships birth biological children. Thirdly, contrary to myth, most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems (I know some of these children, and so do you, whether you know it or not); while births to
other parents do sometimes have birth defects. Heterosexual couples with obvious, series genetic diseases are not prevented from dating, having sex, having children, or marrying, so the "mutant baby" argument is not a justification for stopping genetic half-sisters who didn't even grow up with each other from marrying.

I expect more from Media Matters than to throw some consenting adults under the bus to assuage bigots. There is no good reason to deny that we must keep evolving until an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, monogamy or polyamory, race, or religion is free to marry any and all consenting adults. The limited same-gender freedom to marry is a great and historic step, but is NOT full marriage equality, because equality "just for some" is not equality. Let's stand up for EVERY ADULT'S right to marry the person(s) they love. Get on the right side of history!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Defending Stephanie Seymour

(Time to bump this entry up to congratulate Stephanie Seymour on being the the new face of Estée Lauder. ALSO see update at the end.)

Here’s an example of someone trashing the beautiful Stephanie Seymour for daring to be affectionate with her son in public. I’ll edit the quotes slightly to remove language that some people still get upset about.

One of the things that has me saying “Are you f------ stupid?” are the photos of Stephanie Seymour and her son.

She goes on…

The photos do look like she’s making out with her son. A little creepy…yes!

Why is that creepy?

Is it normal for a son to cop a feel of the boobies?

For some people, yes. Jealous?

Turns out her son is gay. Which apparently makes it ok to make out with your hot Mom on a beach.

It’s okay for any adult to be affectionate with any consenting adult on a beach. It should certainly be legal.

My question is, “Are you f------ stupid?”

Maybe they were simply having some minimal affection. Or maybe it is a sign of more. What’s the problem? What’s stupid is trashing others for sharing love and affection.

I have to admit, I’m vey curious to hear your thoughts on the pics.

My thought is that it is too bad that everyone can’t be on such good terms with their parent or child.

February 12, 2014 UPDATE...

This photo shoot has fingers wagging now.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Today's Example of Insufficient Reporting

From news-mail.com.au comes this headline....
Jail threat for incest sex offender who broke order


As we know, where consanguinamory is still criminalized, "incest" can mean a variety of things. Unfortunately, the text of the article doesn't shed much light on the situation.

A REGISTERED sex offender who failed to comply with his reporting conditions before missing two court dates now has two months of jail hanging over his head after facing court.

The 24-year-old man, who can not be named, became a reportable offender in 2008 after being convicted of incest.
No more information about the original case is given. In 2008, he was 18 years old, give or take. Assuming the original case was about something that happened in Queensland, it isn't criminal to have sex with someone who is 16 years or older unless "sodomy" is involved or unless they are closely related, which are ridiculous restrictions. So, it is entirely possible this man to have been convicted of "incest" for having had consensual sex with a 17-year-old sibling, half-sibling, nephew or niece, whether they were raised together or not. If that is what happened, it shouldn't have been a criminal matter in the first place,  he shouldn't be a "sex offender," and nobody should care that he didn't report.

On the other hand, he could have been molesting or assaulting a 3-year-old, in which case he shouldn't be walking free at all right now.

But we have no way of knowing, because "incest" is applied to both situations, and the journalists who put this story online were probably just repeating what an insufficient court announcement said, without anyone asking for clarification.




Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Tale as Old as Time

This blog is about relationship rights for all adults, especially the right to marry any and all consenting adults. It is not about criticizing nor promoting any philosophy towards religion, spiritual considerations, superstitions, the paranormal or supernatural, any religious text or writings/traditions/beliefs/practices/systems/organizations considered sacred, inspired, of authoritative by some, nor skepticism when it comes to such things.

There are both allies and opponents of relationship rights and full marriage equality in just about every religion and among those who claim no religion, and I welcome allies no matter what tradition, if any, they prefer or reject.

With that out of the way…

Considering the Bible as literature, which anyone can do whether they are a devout Christian, a Deist, a Hindu, an Atheist, or an Antitheist or take some other path, one can see that the Bible implies, outright portrays, and further addresses consanguineous sex.

Frequently, someone will ask “Where did Cain get his wife?” or “Did Adam and Eve’s children have sex with each other?” or some variation. Whether someone considers this speculation about fanciful myths or actual history is irrelevant to analyzing what the text itself says.



One common response says that there were other people aside from Adam and Eve, even claiming that Genesis 1:26-27 describes the creation of people other than Adam and Eve. That may work for someone who can find some other explanation for Genesis 3:20, which calls Eve the mother of all living, and other passages which indicate Adam and Eve were the parents of all humans.

Romans 5 says that sin and death came into the world through one man, Adam, and 1 Corinthians 15 says that in Adam all die. These passages imply that the Bible portrays every human as a descendant of Adam.  There’s a mention of Eve in the Apocrypha that agrees with this, in the prayer of Tobit (Tobit 8:6): "Thou madest Adam, and gavest him Eve his wife for a helper and a stay; of them came the seed of men…"

That the Bible portrays Adam and Eve as the ancestors of all humans is the interpretation publicly affirmed by a diverse group of Bible enthusiasts, who often vehemently disagree with each other on other matters about what the Bible says. For a few examples, see here, here, here, here, here, and here. Some of those sources disagree very much on other aspects of Genesis, especially the first few chapters, but agree as to the Bible teaching that Adam and Eve are the ancestors of all humans (and please note that Genesis 5:4 says Adam, in addition to the named sons, had other sons and daughters), and so it appears that the Bible portrays the origin of human beings as the result of consanguineous (incestuous) sex. Adam and Eve’s children reproduced with each other, if not also Adam and Eve.


It is also of note that the Bible portrays Noah, his wife, their three sons, and the sons' wives were the only human beings left (at least in that part of the world) after The Flood. (Genesis 6:18, 7:7, 9:1,7,18-19). Whether or not the Bible allows for a “local” Flood and other human beings in other parts of the world, Genesis 6:19 portrays least the people in that part of the world as all descended from Noah’s family. That would mean that the area (or the entire world) was repopulated through pairing up people who were no more distant than first cousins, coming from a pool of no more than eight total ancestors (Noah, his wife, and the parents of each of Noah's three sons.)

In the Biblical narrative, it wasn’t until much later that the first prohibition was placed on incest, in Leviticus, along with many other prohibitions (prohibitions on mixing fabrics, for example) that may have been listed to distinguish Israel from the other nations/tribes surrounding it. The narrative describes tribes who have left Egypt, where incest was common and accepted, and surrounded by other nations/tribes where incest was common and accepted. These were laws for the ancient theocracy of Israel. Also of note is that the concept of rights for women and children was very different than it is now; same goes for protecting the elderly. There was no domestic violence shelter, no secular county or state department with social workers attempting to protect people against child abuse or elderly abuse.  Children were literally the property of their parents to do with almost anything they wanted (note that the Torah says that parents must get permission from an authority to kill a disobedient child; presumably, there was no such requirement before.) As such, prohibitions on incest could have often been about preventing sexual assault or molestation.


However, applying the Biblical prohibitions to consensual sex, very few people who consider the Bible as an authority in their lives actually live by Mosaic law, nor want Mosaic law as national or state/province law. Secular laws should not keep any consenting adults from having sex or getting married.

Incest has always been a theme in literature and storytelling. See: Greek mythology. The fact is, incest has always been a part of life, in all socioeconomic and geographic areas. Even though a majority of people don't get involved, enough people do get involved in consensual incest that you know people who are involved.

Marrying a first cousin is legal and common in much of the world today, and for thousands of years most people married a first, second, or third cousin, once or twice removed or not.

From the perspective of science, DNA reveals inbreeding, and thus incest, in our past. In some cases, it might have helped to spread helpful characteristics.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Less Bloom in the Flowers?

 at zap2it.com wrote that the Lifetime adaptation "Flowers in the Attic" needs more incest.



flowers-in-the-attic-incest-lifetime.jpg

Cutting some of the especially creepy and disturbing stuff from the book for the Lifetime audience -- the blood feeding and the rape, in particular -- makes sense. But just one chaste kiss between the two adolescent siblings? Come on, we're all here for the soapy incest. Quit pretending we're not.
Have you seen it? What did you think have you read the books?

Of course, if you want brightly blooming flowers, read Diane Rinella's writings that touch on the themes of consanguinamory and abuse. Rinella's works definitely deserve screen adaptations.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

There is Big Difference Between Love and Abuse

Candace Sutton had an article I found at heraldsun.com.au under the headline "The Australian Families That Hold Dark Secrets of Incest and Abuse." Unfortunately, for the sake of sensationalism, responsibility went out the window. This might contain triggers for some of you. Here's how the article starts...
BEHIND the door of an ordinary house in a working class Australian suburb, a man abused his three daughters over two decades, offering them to other men for sex and making them perform acts with animals. 
Inside at least three suburban houses in towns nestled in a major industrial Australian valley, one man started raping his 11-year-old daughter and then told her she was "damaged" and unlovable.
Sometimes he forced himself upon her twice a day.

For almost 30 years he kept her a virtual prisoner, fathering her four children who were all disabled.

A third case unfolded over four generations of a family which moved from state to state, always stopping in remote communities to avoid detection.

Eventually they came to rest in the hills behind a quiet rural village, where decades of inbreeding exploded into a horror story of degradation, squalor and rampant child sex under the approving gaze of three family matriarchs - a story which has shocked the world.
These are all terrible cases of child abuse, which involve various forms of abuse in addition to child rape. In this last case, the children would have had plenty of problems even if there has been no inbreeding.

Every week in communities big and small across Australia, children are sexually abused by their relatives.

And by people who aren't relatives. Either way, it is unacceptable.

The article goes on to detail child abuse situations. In the middle of all of that comes this...

Father and daughter John and Jennifer Deaves confessed on television their sex life was
Father and daughter John and Jennifer Deaves confessed on television their sex life was “absolutely fantastic”. Picture: Channel 9 Source: News Limited

Uh, What in the world is a picture and caption of a couple of ADULTS who had a CONSENSUAL relationship generated by Genetic Sexual Attraction doing in the middle of an article like this? I know Jennifer. You know what she is a victim of? Bigotry enshrined in law! In more than one way. This is not only offensive to adults who have loving, consensual relationships, it is also offensive to assault and molestation victims, because there is no comparing the situation of the Deaves to the abusive situations listed. This is highly irresponsible journalism. I doubt it was Sutton's decision, to be fair. She's just the person whose name is on the article and she probably didn't to the layout or headline.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Solidarity From Kim LaCapria

Recently at the dailyglobe.com, Kim LaCapria had the piece "Is Polyamory The New Gay Marriage? I Hope So."

The angry response to this concept that is so intriguing manifested after xoJane published what appears to be a controversial post by Angi Becker Stevens, titled simply “My Big Polyamorous Wedding.” In it, Stevens explains her plans to marry her boyfriend of several years — but plot twist: she’s already married, and planning to remain wed to her first husband.

Croatia Same-Sex Marriage Ban
Now, xoJane is a site where most posters and commenters are feminist and “sex positive,” but the response was overwhelmingly negative in the comments section. A small level of grudging acceptance was often appended with a “I don’t really like this, but …”, and even that was rare. Most posts demonstrated a visceral level of discomfort, fear, or otherwise disapproving assessment of Stevens’ life. (A life, we might add, that all parties involved seem to have chosen happily.)
Some people consent to, and want, things other people do not want. Why is that so hard to understand?

She points out that people quite often approach romantic or sexual relationships differently than they approach anything else in life...
Force or coercion is generally considered to be poor form, and socially discouraged — but if partners are not on the same “marriage timeline” we are, we’re advised by nearly everyone to force their hand on the matter or bail, never to consider that the decision is heavy and one to be arrived at when both parties are comfortable.

And if you question these unshakeable tenets — that there are minefields full of dealbreakers, that it’s “a breakup because it’s broken,” that “he’s just not that into you,” that tactical plays are the best route — you’re seen in one of two ways. Females are repeatedly told that it’s about “self worth,” and are called “doormats,” while men are accused of being “commitment-phobic,” “manchildren,” or simply are labeled cads.

In our strangely unformed collective opinion, you’re either the player or the played, so best to be on the offensive — a proposition we imbue with the collateral of divorce, expensive jewelry, or simply punitive use of affection. As a standard!

As such, we’ve arrived in 2013 with a post-women’s lib society and an adversarial playing ground for love. Or, at its bare bones, we no longer need the “sexual economy” on which marriage was based for so long. And in the absence of the sex for security exchange, we cling to the bizarrely dated, long-obsolete truths of monogamous marriage like some old harvest sacrifice, adhering to superstition and divination to declare certain certainties for which there really is no hard and fast rule.
Again, it isn't true that every person wants exactly the same thing when it comes to relationships as everyone else. And that's OK!

She cites the negative comments left after the article, bashing polyamorous people.
It goes on — but the ambient theme in the discussion of polyamory vis a vis gay marriage is fear. Fear we will be forced to “share,” fear that the promised happy ending will look different than what we’ve seen on Pinterest, fear that, most of all, our commitments will be tested time and again rather than a foregone conclusion, a Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling kiss in the rain, a post-script to the story of how we “got” the guy or girl — as if a person were a thing to get.

It seems the question of whether polyamory is the next gay marriage is secondary to the real question — why does every major divergence from “one man, one woman” terrify us so intensely, and why do we continue to indulge the idea others’ choices disrupt or even threaten our own?

BINGO!

Gay marriage has, in reality, always existed. So has polyamory. It is just that we're no longer going to force everyone into a closet unless they stick with a narrow heteromonogamous stay-within-your-race mold. Those days are over. Good riddance! Get used to it.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Some People Have Attractive Cousins

Sigh. When will "we" stop broadly condemning the relationships of others because of our own personal dislikes or ignorance? At thegloss.com I found a bit by with the headline "WTF? People Are Tweeting Their Incest Fantasies." We're talking about cousins.

Maybe I’m being too judgmental by thinking people who find their cousins hot is totally creepy and wrong, but this kind of thing has been making people feel weird for a long time.
You are needlessly attacking people and you are wrong about people feeling weird about it. For most of human history, most people have married a cousin. It is still common in many places. Half of US states will legally marry first cousins.
Perhaps some people don’t consider kissing cousins to be as stomach-churningly horrifying as say brother-sister or parent-child stuff, but uh, whatever the degree of separation, finding your family hot is still something you might want to keep between you and your analyst.
Maybe if you reword that and make it about interracial relationships, you'll see why this statement is hurtful.

Maybe her cousins aren't attractive? But some people have attractive cousins.


She was referring to this huffingtonpost.com bit.

To read about a real family that is hurt by attacks like this one, I recommend checking out this blog.

Some People Have Attractive Cousins

Sigh. When will "we" stop broadly condemning the relationships of others because of our own personal dislikes or ignorance? At thegloss.com I found a bit by with the headline "WTF? People Are Tweeting Their Incest Fantasies." We're talking about cousins.

Maybe I’m being too judgmental by thinking people who find their cousins hot is totally creepy and wrong, but this kind of thing has been making people feel weird for a long time.
You are needlessly attacking people and you are wrong about people feeling weird about it. For most of human history, most people have married a cousin. It is still common in many places. Half of US states will legally marry first cousins.
Perhaps some people don’t consider kissing cousins to be as stomach-churningly horrifying as say brother-sister or parent-child stuff, but uh, whatever the degree of separation, finding your family hot is still something you might want to keep between you and your analyst.
Maybe if you reword that and make it about interracial relationships, you'll see why this statement is hurtful.

Maybe her cousins aren't attractive? But some people have attractive cousins.


She was referring to this huffingtonpost.com bit.

To read about a real family that is hurt by attacks like this one, I recommend checking out this blog.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Another Polygynous Family Gets TLC Series

The Browns of "Sister Wives" have done a lot of good for polygyny, the larger scope of polygamy, and the still-larger scope of polyamory. Now the Williams are getting a series on TLC after their special in September tested the waters and drew good ratings. Here's the report from the Associated Press at dailymail.co.uk...
The cable TV network said Thursday it will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams and his five wives and 24 children. The first episode is set to debut March 9.
These series feature polygyny, but there are so many ways polyamory can lived out, and hopefully, we'll see some variety in the future. For example, I'd like to see a series with a polyandrous triad, and definitely one with a same-gender triad.

Reality stars! TLC will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams (center) and his five wives, pictured, from left, Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda
Reality stars! TLC will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams (center) and his five wives, pictured, from left, Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda


Members of the Williams family are among an estimated 15,000 independent polygamists in the West who don't belong to an organized, fundamentalist Mormon church. Williams and his wives withdrew from the Apostolic United Brethren during the mid-2000s after re-evaluating their core beliefs.

The family no longer teaches the tenets of fundamental Mormonism to their children at home, opting instead to take from other teachings such as Buddhism to instill good, morale values in their two dozen children, who range in age from 2-20.

Interesting.


The real story: Mr Williams poses with Robyn (left) and Rosemary (right) outside of their home in a polygamous community outside Salt Lake City
In addition to the Browns and now the Williams family, TLC also has done a special featuring the Darger family of Utah. HBO's fictional show about a polygamous family, 'Big Love,' ran for five seasons.
Following the recent court ruling [decriminalizing polyfidelity in Utah], Williams said now is the time for polygamists to show they are deserving of the recognition by putting an end to the misogyny rampant among the culture and putting women on equal footing as men.
 Yes, we are making progress for equality. 
The practice of polygamy is a legacy of the early teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but the mainstream church and its 15 million members worldwide abandoned polygamy in 1890 and strictly prohibit it today.

Hmm. That could have been written better. Many American polygynists have Mormon roots, but polygamy is as old as life.

These television shows are helping more people to see that an adult should be free to marry any and all consenting adults, and that's a great thing.

Another Polygynous Family Gets TLC Series

The Browns of "Sister Wives" have done a lot of good for polygyny, the larger scope of polygamy, and the still-larger scope of polyamory. Now the Williams are getting a series on TLC after their special in September tested the waters and drew good ratings. Here's the report from the Associated Press at dailymail.co.uk...
The cable TV network said Thursday it will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams and his five wives and 24 children. The first episode is set to debut March 9.
These series feature polygyny, but there are so many ways polyamory can lived out, and hopefully, we'll see some variety in the future. For example, I'd like to see a series with a polyandrous triad, and definitely one with a same-gender triad.

Reality stars! TLC will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams (center) and his five wives, pictured, from left, Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda
Reality stars! TLC will produce nine, one-hour episodes about Brady Williams (center) and his five wives, pictured, from left, Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie and Rhonda


Members of the Williams family are among an estimated 15,000 independent polygamists in the West who don't belong to an organized, fundamentalist Mormon church. Williams and his wives withdrew from the Apostolic United Brethren during the mid-2000s after re-evaluating their core beliefs.

The family no longer teaches the tenets of fundamental Mormonism to their children at home, opting instead to take from other teachings such as Buddhism to instill good, morale values in their two dozen children, who range in age from 2-20.

Interesting.


The real story: Mr Williams poses with Robyn (left) and Rosemary (right) outside of their home in a polygamous community outside Salt Lake City
In addition to the Browns and now the Williams family, TLC also has done a special featuring the Darger family of Utah. HBO's fictional show about a polygamous family, 'Big Love,' ran for five seasons.
Following the recent court ruling [decriminalizing polyfidelity in Utah], Williams said now is the time for polygamists to show they are deserving of the recognition by putting an end to the misogyny rampant among the culture and putting women on equal footing as men.
 Yes, we are making progress for equality. 
The practice of polygamy is a legacy of the early teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but the mainstream church and its 15 million members worldwide abandoned polygamy in 1890 and strictly prohibit it today.

Hmm. That could have been written better. Many American polygynists have Mormon roots, but polygamy is as old as life.

These television shows are helping more people to see that an adult should be free to marry any and all consenting adults, and that's a great thing.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Novels to Buy

[Bumping this up for holiday shopping reminders.]

I’m not going to pretend I can give an unbiased review of Diane Rinella’s new book, Time’s Forbidden Flower, which completes the story began in Love’s Forbidden Flower, the novel I first blogged about here. After all, I have been in ongoing contact with Rinella and the plot of the works involves something near and dear to my heart. Also, I may have influenced this latest work. There’s a third work involved: "Love’s Erotic Flower," a short story which was released between the two novels and is a sizzling detailing of the sexual coupling (over multiple encounters) between the main characters.

One need not read the novels to enjoy "Erotic" nor read "Erotic" to enjoy the novels, but both novels should be read in sequence, and to only reason to avoid "Erotic" if you enjoy the first novel is if you hate to get aroused by fiction.

I can’t recommend all three works more strongly. I even like the cover art.



Lily and Donovan are soulmates, complete with a mutual erotic and romantic attraction. They happen to be brother and sister as well. Yes, this story involves consanguinamory, which is something some people find shocking or disgusting, but is something that is experienced on some level by enough people that you do know someone who has been, or is involved, whether you know it or not.

That’s why these works of fiction are more than just something that is engaging. They are important. They are important because there are people who will identify with the characters and will no longer feel so alone. Although the forbidden nature of the issue is addressed multiple times, the “i” word is never spoken, nor is there a lecturing of the reader on all the points you will find here. I don't recall that she ever explains that in Rhode Island, the home state of the characters, their love is not criminalized as it still is in most US states. This is a story about forbidden love from a writer with strong empathy that may get people to think and feel differently than they did when they picked it up, but not a contrived polemic.

Rinella does not chicken out by going the stepsibling route or through some other escape hatch. Lily and Donovan are blood siblings, who grew up together. However, there are twists I didn’t see coming. I thought things might go in one direction and they went another. This is not a simple straight line, but neither is it something that is convoluted to the point of losing the reader. The characters seem real, complete with real flaws. Not everything happens exactly the way the reader might want when wanted, and not everything is tied up in a pretty bow by the end. Yet, the satisfactory payoffs are there. It is just that Rinella draws the reader in to make them feel the hot and cold of a good multi-course meal, rather than spoonfeeding them lukewarm junk food.

I noticed that at least one character is polyamorous in the sense of being able to truly love more than one person at the same time.

The novels are for anyone who wants to read a modern tale of still-forbidden love, or anyone who wants to read a realistic account of consanguinamory, or anyone who is in or knows someone who is in or has been involved in such a relationship. Or, maybe you simply prefer a good story about love and family that pretty much spans the lifetime of the main characters.

They are not for anyone who is absolutely unwilling to give a romance between siblings any consideration. (If that is you, I’m surprised you’re still here reading my blog.)

How nice it is to have something that treats this love between sibings with dignity and depth. I would very much like to see these works adapted for the screen.

Have I been clear enough?  Buy all three!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

A Reminder That GSA is Real

wrote about Genetic Sexual Attraction at huffingtonpost.co.uk. The piece did not start our well...
Incest; is there anything more shudderingly repulsive?
First of all, GSA isn't incest as most people think about it. Secondly, not everyone finds this form of consensual sex repulsive. A lot of people have done it themselves. I think most people would not find these relationships repulsive.
What if there is no force, coercion or betrayal of trust?
 Uh, yeah. That's what we're talking about.
What if there is no sexual predator and no victim?

Then some places, stupidly, criminally prosecute everyone. Makes sense, right? Not really.

He then links to that particular forum where consanguinamory is discouraged.

They claim that any two consenting adults should be able to share love, sex, residence and marriage. They claim that they are not hurting anyone. They claim that laws and prejudices need to catch up with reality. 
Yes we do claim that any consenting adults (not just two) should be free to share their lives. Not so much the people running that one forum.
It may be kept shrouded in mystery and spoken about only in whispers, but it is not going to go away anytime soon. Adoption reunions are increasingly common, especially since social networking has simplified tracing. Increasing rates of IVF, sperm donation and even divorce will only create more opportunity for family members to be separated then found later in life too.

Yes. This is going to be happening a lot more in the coming years.
Is there a difference between biological and sociological incest?

Yes.

Should we condemn those gripped by GSA?
No. We should not condemn ANY consenting adults for loving each other.
Or is it an ordinary response to exceptional circumstances?
Yes, it is an ordinary response.

If you have experienced GSA, there is now a section specifically to discuss GSA at Kindred Spirits. It is a free, welcoming forum, but be sure to read and immediately follow all of the rules. You will see the GSA forum after you do so.

A Reminder That GSA is Real

wrote about Genetic Sexual Attraction at huffingtonpost.co.uk. The piece did not start our well...
Incest; is there anything more shudderingly repulsive?
First of all, GSA isn't incest as most people think about it. Secondly, not everyone finds this form of consensual sex repulsive. A lot of people have done it themselves. I think most people would not find these relationships repulsive.
What if there is no force, coercion or betrayal of trust?
 Uh, yeah. That's what we're talking about.
What if there is no sexual predator and no victim?

Then some places, stupidly, criminally prosecute everyone. Makes sense, right? Not really.

He then links to that particular forum where consanguinamory is discouraged.

They claim that any two consenting adults should be able to share love, sex, residence and marriage. They claim that they are not hurting anyone. They claim that laws and prejudices need to catch up with reality. 
Yes we do claim that any consenting adults (not just two) should be free to share their lives. Not so much the people running that one forum.
It may be kept shrouded in mystery and spoken about only in whispers, but it is not going to go away anytime soon. Adoption reunions are increasingly common, especially since social networking has simplified tracing. Increasing rates of IVF, sperm donation and even divorce will only create more opportunity for family members to be separated then found later in life too.

Yes. This is going to be happening a lot more in the coming years.
Is there a difference between biological and sociological incest?

Yes.

Should we condemn those gripped by GSA?
No. We should not condemn ANY consenting adults for loving each other.
Or is it an ordinary response to exceptional circumstances?
Yes, it is an ordinary response.

If you have experienced GSA, there is now a section specifically to discuss GSA at Kindred Spirits. It is a free, welcoming forum, but be sure to read and immediately follow all of the rules. You will see the GSA forum after you do so.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Accept That Your Grown Children Are Adults

Dear Prudence column got a polyamory question. Stuck in the Middle With Him wrote...
Our daughter "Amanda" lives in another state and has been married to "Jacob" for several years. Theirs is an open relationship, and I have always known that. My husband, however has kept his head in the sand regarding this. My daughter has a boyfriend, "Tom,” whom Jacob knows about and has a great friendship with. They are all planning to come to our home this Christmas, but my husband insists that Tom (who has visited us previously) is not welcome. Do I tell our daughter, son-in-law, and daughter's boyfriend to make other holiday plans? My opinion is that they are all consenting adults, there are no children involved, and always behave appropriately in public.
The letter writer's husband is being a jerk. The letter writer sounds like a reasonable person. I would be interested in knowing if they have any other children, and if the non-spousal partners and friends of those children are also banned? I would also be interested in knowing how Jacob and Tom's families are about the situation. Maybe Amanda, Jacob, and Tom should go to see them for the holidays? Or they can host their own holiday get-togethers and invite all who will come?

Yoffe's reply...
Perhaps a generation from now many families will be having a very polyamorous Christmas. But we aren’t there yet. I support your conclusion that your daughter and the men in her life are consenting adults and as long as they behave with decorum, what they do in private is none of your business. But they are also open about their open relationship, so I can understand your husband’s point of view that he attended Amanda’s wedding to Jacob, where she vowed to forsake all others, including every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Not everyone makes that vow, and not everyone who makes that vow means that they will have no involvement whatsoever with anyone else. Also, agreements are mutually modified all of the time, and if Amanda and Jacob mutually agreed to their situation, they that's all that should matter.

Suggest this year she come only with Jacob. Surely she knows there are simply occasions when she must make a choice about which man to bring.
Hmm. Tom is part of Amanda's life. This is a rejection of Amanda's autonomy over her own sexuality and social life, and a rejection of Jacob as well, since he agreed to this. Parents aren't always going to like the decisions their adult children make, but those grown children are going to live their own lives, and their parents can either be a part of it or not.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Again With the Folgers Advertisement

Now is as good of a time as any other to go through this year's criticism of a Folgers Coffee Christmas-themed television advertisement. I've blogged about this ad and reaction to it before, here and here. [This is bumped up from 2012 because the ad is getting talked about again.]

In a nutshell, the ad depicts a brother arriving home after being being away out of the country, and his sister is happy to see him. Some viewers see undertones of incest, because, you know, siblings are supposed to hate each other and fight like cats and dogs all of the time. Since they see undertones of incest, many of them take the opportunity to remind us that they think consensual incest (consanguinamory) between siblings is icky.

There's some language the FCC wouldn't allow on American broadcast radio, just to warn you.



At deathandtaxesmag.com,
Well, it’s Thanksgiving and officially time to start showing commercials for the holiday season. That includes the creepy commercial that Folgers has been running since 2009… a commercial that may or may not imply incest. “You’re my present this year.” *shudders*
Goodness forbid she be happy her brother is home. No, she should be demanding a new smart phone as her present.

Aja Romano offers "How to talk to your family about the Folgers incest commercial" at dailydot.com...

1) Mention the 55,000 people on Tumblr who are totally into it
Twitter user Nicole James had no idea what a celebration she’d kick off on November 18 when she tweeted about the infamous Folgers holiday commercial that got everyone talking in 2009 and resurfaces every year around Thanksgiving:

Twitter and Tumblr user JayGabler shared James’ tweet with Tumblr. Though James was far from the first to read incestuous undertones into the Folgers commercial, Tumblr was a bit slow on the uptake. But with JayGabler providing the YouTube link to the commercial, they caught on fast.
I suspect many people expressing disapproval are protesting a little too much. Here are two Tumblr tags about this.
2) Talk about how genetic sexual attraction is totally a Thing

When siblings who were separated in childhood meet again as adults, they’re genetically predisposed to find each other attractive. It’s a phenomenon called “genetic sexual attraction,” in which the similarities of two relatives create an increased draw between them.

Humans, even young ones, get weirded out by the idea of finding our brothers and sisters hot.
Some do. Not all.

Then the piece goes on to note how popular incestuous fanfic "shipping" is...
Take for instance the thousands of Supernatural fics focusing on the romantic ship of Sam and Dean Winchester—better known throughout fandom as “Wincest.” Wincest is by far the most popular current sibling romantic pairing in fandom—and fans of the pairing will eagerly tell you why.

...

Interested in the fictional love of two siblings but aren’t sure Folgers is right for you? Never fear! There’s plenty more where that came from—such as the 72 works featuring variants on the Pevensie family from C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, always a recurring fandom favorite.  Simon/River from Firefly is another winning combination. Anime fans know well the lure of Ed/Al from Fullmetal Alchemist. For an old standby, Fanfiction.net has plenty of Weasleycest; if bandom is more to your taste, Waycest, featuring Gerard and Mike Way of My Chemical Romance, is a staple. And if you want a newer take, sample any of the 1,700 Thor/Loki fics on AO3. As always, in fandom, the possibilities are endless.

Max Read at gawker.com has "Kick Off the Christmas Season with Thousands of Words of Incest Fanfic About the Weirdest Folger’s Commercial of All Time."
All of which is more than enough to create a small community (or "fandom") of true believers on the internet. Archive of our Own, one of the premiere fan fiction sites on the internet, has three different stories in its "Folgers 'Home for the Holidays' Commercial" section:
Kick Off the Christmas Season with Thousands of Words of Incest Fanfic About the Weirdest Folger's Commercial of All Time

There was much reaction from readers, much of it the usual bigotry expressed towards affectionate siblings. But here are a couple of comments I thought were worth repeating...



Jennifer A. Jones

How strange that anyone would see incest in this ad! When I first saw it on TV the other day, I loved it. I simply see a sweet moment between a little sister and a big brother... maybe it's because I have a big brother? But, I see nothing incest-y about this ad.
And...
MyBlueShorts
Americans really are 2 steps away from the Taliban.
Don't touch!
Don't look!
Don't smile!
Don't Love!
All too true.


I think Folgers should double-down. Bring back the same pair of actors as the same characters, sharing an apartment and enjoying an evening at home, perhaps warming up with coffee after a rainy day, reclining together on the couch. Make a series out of it, always just showing them enjoying each other's company and being affectionate in a non-sexual way.

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