A Mixed Marriage

Emily Daniel has a blog called "I like Chocolate, He Likes Vanilla." It is the "trials and tribulations of a polyamorous kinky lady happily married to a monogamous vanilla man, while occasionally writing erotica." In this entry, she wrote about her personal polyamory manifesto.The point of being poly is, for me, freedom to be able to follow my heart and, to an extent, explore my kinks in a safe space. It is not about deliberately finding sexual partners or deliberately looking for someone else, but about being able to embrace possibilities and be myself.She lists these ground rules...Be honest to yourselfBe honest to everyone involvedCommunicate, Communicate, CommunicateMy husband and I will continue to live together and share our love,...

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Posted in: boundaries,love,polyamory

Television on the Edge?

I can't help but shake my head a little when a television show, and television critics or promotional media, present relationships between cousins as edgy. For example there's this report by Sarah Lynn at unrealitytv.co.uk about the show EastEnders. It includes an interview with David Witts, who plays Joey Branning. Joey's cousin is Lauren Branning. Fans of EastEnders will no doubt be aware that the soap is about to tackle the taboo subject of incest as cousins Lauren and Joey Branning embark on an affair after both realize – and act upon – the powerful sexual attraction between them that’s been simmering for weeks.Just like any other relationship, right?When asked, “Does Joey think it’s wrong to kiss his cousin?” David replied, “No....

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Posted in: consanguineous,cousins,media,UK

Television on the Edge?

I can't help but shake my head a little when a television show, and television critics or promotional media, present relationships between cousins as edgy. For example there's this report by Sarah Lynn at unrealitytv.co.uk about the show EastEnders. It includes an interview with David Witts, who plays Joey Branning. Joey's cousin is Lauren Branning. Fans of EastEnders will no doubt be aware that the soap is about to tackle the taboo subject of incest as cousins Lauren and Joey Branning embark on an affair after both realize – and act upon – the powerful sexual attraction between them that’s been simmering for weeks.Just like any other relationship, right?When asked, “Does Joey think it’s wrong to kiss his cousin?” David replied, “No....

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Posted in: consanguineous,cousins,media,UK

Politician in Zimbabwe Prosecuted Under Incest Laws

In what appears to be a more pressing matter of child support, a politician in Zimbabwe is making headlines for having consanguinamorous relationships. Of course, the headlines focus on "incest." From zimdiaspora.com...A ZIMBABWEAN politician Fidelis Mhashu, whose wife left for the United Kingdom in 2003 and never came back, says he ended up in an incestuous relationship with his two nieces due to loneliness.Both cases resulted in the birth of four children.Mr Mhashu who is also Chitungwiza North legislator and former Minister of National Housing and Social Amenities is now facing charges of engaging in incestuous relationship under Zimbabwe traditional court system in his home area of Mhondoro.Consensual incest should not be a crime...

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Posted in: Africa,boundaries,children,consanguineous,family reaction,incest,law,politicians,prejudice,prosecution,uncle-niece,Zimbabwe

Polymory, Monogamy, and Cheating

The very helpful Charlie Glickman reminds us that "Polyamory Isn't An Alternative to Cheating"...Polyamory isn’t an alternative to cheating, it’s an alternative to monogamy.He goes on to explain...You know what the alternative to cheating is? Honesty, communication, and abiding by your agreements. No matter what relationship works for you, no matter how many partners you have at any given time, the alternative to cheating is being honest with yourself and with your partner(s), and doing what you say you will.I get that if you’re unhappy in an ostensibly monogamous relationship or if your needs aren’t being met, there can be a temptation to seek someone outside those boundaries. And you know what? People in open relationships sometimes do the same thing. After all, just because your...

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Posted in: boundaries,cheating,monogamy,polyamory

Bobbi Kistina and Nick Gordon Making News

Even though their relationships isn't incestuous biologically nor legally, the prejudice against consanguinamory is so ridiculous that the couple continues to fight off the "incest" label. As my regular readers know, I would support them if they were, indeed, biological siblings. Whatever the case, we are talking about consenting adults here. That someone else finds their relationship strange should have no influence over their happiness. If they want to be together, nobody else should be able to stop them.TECHNICAL ISSUE: Is there some reason why a YouTube video would get automatically removed from a Blogger posting? It's all Google, so I don't understand why the HTML coding for this video disappeared from here and I get to go get it again. Anyone kn...

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Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,incest,love,media,prejudice,siblings

Bobbi Kistina and Nick Gordon Making News

Even though their relationships isn't incestuous biologically nor legally, the prejudice against consanguinamory is so ridiculous that the couple continues to fight off the "incest" label. As my regular readers know, I would support them if they were, indeed, biological siblings. Whatever the case, we are talking about consenting adults here. That someone else finds their relationship strange should have no influence over their happiness. If they want to be together, nobody else should be able to stop them.TECHNICAL ISSUE: Is there some reason why a YouTube video would get automatically removed from a Blogger posting? It's all Google, so I don't understand why the HTML coding for this video disappeared from here and I get to go get it again. Anyone kn...

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Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,incest,love,media,prejudice,siblings

Parents and Expectant Parents Discuss Polyamory, Open Relationships

Discussions pop up everywhere about topics like polyamory and open relationships. (As a reminder, "open relationships" and "polyamory" are not synonyms.) Discussions tend to help, as the more people talk, the more we see there is a diversity of needs when it comes to relationships and sexuality, and that polyamorous people or people in open relationships are not bad people or people nobody knows. They are quite often great people, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual, who live next door in harmony with monogamists. An example is this poll and discussion at baby-gaga.com initiated by Abbey & Ethan. Here are some highlights...Samurai...That's what I have always wanted but DH doesn't agree. Yeah. I didn't put much thought into that part of things when I decided to marry DH.Mama to William...

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Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,polyamory

Parents and Expectant Parents Discuss Polyamory, Open Relationships

Discussions pop up everywhere about topics like polyamory and open relationships. (As a reminder, "open relationships" and "polyamory" are not synonyms.) Discussions tend to help, as the more people talk, the more we see there is a diversity of needs when it comes to relationships and sexuality, and that polyamorous people or people in open relationships are not bad people or people nobody knows. They are quite often great people, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual, who live next door in harmony with monogamists. An example is this poll and discussion at baby-gaga.com initiated by Abbey & Ethan. Here are some highlights...Samurai...That's what I have always wanted but DH doesn't agree. Yeah. I didn't put much thought into that part of things when I decided to marry DH.Mama to William...

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Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,polyamory

Another Marriage Denied Equality Under the Law

“Justher” is an attractive, 30ish homemaker whose four grandparents came to the US from Ireland. She’s from a comfortable middle-class background, raised in North Carolina but now living in Pennsylvania. She’s also a mother, via legal guardianship, to one child, and lives with her brother, who is a manufacturing management professional. Justher enjoys playing tennis, and it helps to keep her in great shape. She was generous enough with her time and privacy to be interviewed.*****FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Is your brother your full blood brother? Is he younger than you, and if so, by how much? Do you have any other siblings?Justher: Yes, my brother is my full blood brother. He’s a year and four months younger than me, and we have no other siblings.FME:...

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Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,brother-sister,consanguineous,incest,lack of equality harms,love,siblings,USA

Another Marriage Denied Equality Under the Law

“Justher” is an attractive, 30ish homemaker whose four grandparents came to the US from Ireland. She’s from a comfortable middle-class background, raised in North Carolina but now living in Pennsylvania. She’s also a mother, via legal guardianship, to one child, and lives with her brother, who is a manufacturing management professional. Justher enjoys playing tennis, and it helps to keep her in great shape. She was generous enough with her time and privacy to be interviewed.*****FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Is your brother your full blood brother? Is he younger than you, and if so, by how much? Do you have any other siblings?Justher: Yes, my brother is my full blood brother. He’s a year and four months younger than me, and we have no other siblings.FME:...

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Posted in: bisexual,boundaries,brother-sister,consanguineous,incest,lack of equality harms,love,siblings,USA

Still Much Ignorance of Polyamory

Carter West writes at thevarsity.ca, which is "University of Toronto's Student Newspaper Since 1880" that "Schools shouldn't be promoting polyamory."Just responding to that title, I want to know what is meant by "promoting?" In so far as relationships and family are discussed at school, it would be negligent of academia to deny that polyamory exists, and that some people find polyamorous relationships to be the ones in which they function best. It is destructive for schools to ignore polyamory or any other consensual adult relationships. Some students are polyamorous, even if they aren't in any relationship at all.But it turns out that the piece is referencing the poster I blogged about that was actually attempting to depict bisexuality...Last...

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Posted in: academia,bisexual,Canada,myths,polyamory,prejudice

Still Much Ignorance of Polyamory

Carter West writes at thevarsity.ca, which is "University of Toronto's Student Newspaper Since 1880" that "Schools shouldn't be promoting polyamory."Just responding to that title, I want to know what is meant by "promoting?" In so far as relationships and family are discussed at school, it would be negligent of academia to deny that polyamory exists, and that some people find polyamorous relationships to be the ones in which they function best. It is destructive for schools to ignore polyamory or any other consensual adult relationships. Some students are polyamorous, even if they aren't in any relationship at all.But it turns out that the piece is referencing the poster I blogged about that was actually attempting to depict bisexuality...Last...

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Posted in: academia,bisexual,Canada,myths,polyamory,prejudice

The Grey Divorcee

A recent study published by the Bowling Green State University concludes that divorce has replaced widowhood as the primary reason many seniors are single later in life.  No surprise there, as the United States has long held the highest divorce rate in the world.As the baby-boomer generation ages, more of its members have been divorced than in any prior generation at any point in history.  Add to this the more complex marital biographies of average baby-boomers [second marriage, recently divorced, ever divorced], and you cannot ignore the growing prevalence of divorce in our society.The study concludes that as widowhood has declined over the past two decades, the divorce rate among the middle-aged and seniors has doubled.  Also...

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Posted in: baby boomer,divorce lawyer,grey divorce,legal separation,Oakland County

Origins of the Incest Taboo

When someone asks why consanguinamory (consensual incest or consanguineous sex) is taboo, someone will usually provide an explanation like this one...The reason we mate up with persons not of our own blood is to build genetic diversity and, whether we accept it or not, attempt to create more superior humans.While I think genetic diversity is usually a good thing as long as it doesn't suppress a genetic advantage, if humans were naturally inclined to seek genetic diversity, I think we would not have seen so much segregation based on skin color and ethnicity over the years, or a taboo against interracial marriages. Even in the most progressive communites, people still often segregate themselves on the basis of skin color. Furthermore, studies have shown and experience with Genetic Sexual...

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Posted in: boundaries,consanguineous,family reaction,freedom to marry,GSA,human origins,incest,myths,stigma

Origins of the Incest Taboo

When someone asks why consanguinamory (consensual incest or consanguineous sex) is taboo, someone will usually provide an explanation like this one...The reason we mate up with persons not of our own blood is to build genetic diversity and, whether we accept it or not, attempt to create more superior humans.While I think genetic diversity is usually a good thing as long as it doesn't suppress a genetic advantage, if humans were naturally inclined to seek genetic diversity, I think we would not have seen so much segregation based on skin color and ethnicity over the years, or a taboo against interracial marriages. Even in the most progressive communites, people still often segregate themselves on the basis of skin color. Furthermore, studies have shown and experience with Genetic Sexual...

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Posted in: boundaries,consanguineous,family reaction,freedom to marry,GSA,human origins,incest,myths,stigma

Business Courts Begin Statewide in January

Governor Rick SnyderHere in Oakland County, we've had an operational business court pilot since April 1, 2012.  This week, Governor Rick Snyder signed HB 5128 into law, amending portions of the Revised Judicature Act to rescind the so-called "cyber courts" [an idea that was never clear and never got off the ground], and replacing those specialized tribunals with "business courts" for all county circuit courts with more than 3 judges.The central idea behind the specialized tribunals is to require electronic case and document filings.  According to the recent Senate Fiscal Agency analysis, the business courts would:Have exclusive jurisdiction over all business or commercial disputes with an amount in controversy in excess...

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Posted in: Governor Rick Snyder,Michigan Supreme Court,Oakland County business court,SCAO,State Court Administrative Office

Polyamory Rising

Thanks in no small part to the Browns and their TLC television show, "Sister Wives," awareness of consensual polygamy (especially plural marriages) is increasing. The same goes for the Showtime's Polyamory show. Both shows and related media and discussion will contribute to relationship rights for poly people, including the freedom to marry and, ultimately, full marriage equality.The Browns lead a forum at UNLV, prompting some news coverage. Here's a report from Paul Takahashi at lasvegassun.com... Christopher DeVargas Kody Brown, center, is flanked by two of his four ‘Sister Wives,” Christine, at left, and Meri, at right.There are more than 850 societies around the world that practice polygamy, and an estimated 30,000 or more plural...

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Posted in: academia,allies,cheating,coming out,family reaction,FLDS,lack of equality harms,love,media,Nevada,open,polyamory,polygamy,polygyny,prejudice,religion,Sister Wives,solidarity,swinging

Polyamory Rising

Thanks in no small part to the Browns and their TLC television show, "Sister Wives," awareness of consensual polygamy (especially plural marriages) is increasing. The same goes for the Showtime's Polyamory show. Both shows and related media and discussion will contribute to relationship rights for poly people, including the freedom to marry and, ultimately, full marriage equality.The Browns lead a forum at UNLV, prompting some news coverage. Here's a report from Paul Takahashi at lasvegassun.com... Christopher DeVargas Kody Brown, center, is flanked by two of his four ‘Sister Wives,” Christine, at left, and Meri, at right.There are more than 850 societies around the world that practice polygamy, and an estimated 30,000 or more plural...

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Posted in: academia,allies,cheating,coming out,family reaction,FLDS,lack of equality harms,love,media,Nevada,open,polyamory,polygamy,polygyny,prejudice,religion,Sister Wives,solidarity,swinging

A Place to Talk

Lately, it seems that I can't let a week go by without posting something from Kindred Spirits, which I consider the best forum to discuss consanguinamory. If there is a better one, I'm not aware of it.Here is something a woman in her 20s. I have edited the typing errors. She wrote about her relationship with her brother, which didn't involve sex until they were adults, the trouble she got from one of their siblings who has some suspicions, and finding the forum...Most psychologists say that it’s the genetic thing or mental illness or like a girl I know that’s gone back to sharing a house (as she said) with her dad when her marriage broke up after 5 years. But what we had wasn’t that. On one of the sites there were a few postings that sounded a bit like us... normal. In a few cases there was...

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Posted in: allies,brother-sister,consanguineous,family reaction,help,love,siblings

Dexter Inspires More Talk About Television Siblings

As we noted around the turn of the year, the television show "Dexter" has a plotline of interest to this blog. Over at pajiba.com, Dustin Rowles lists "5 TV Siblings Better Suited to Incest Plotlines than Dexter and Debra Morgan."Have you noticed, folks? Incest is all the rage on the television these days. It’s been a major plot point in shows like “The Borgias,” “Game of Thrones,” “Boardwalk Empire,” and even the last season of a comedy, “Bored to Death.” It came out of left field at the end of last season’s “Dexter,” and it’s still bubbling beneath the surface of Dexter and Debra’s current television relationship. Will they, or won’t they?Many adopted siblings, stepsiblings, half-siblings, and full-blood siblings (long lost or raised...

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Posted in: brother-brother,brother-sister,consanguineous,incest,media,siblings,sister-sister