Fired Up in Texas

From khou.com comes a report that a man is accused of arson for setting fire to a place he shared with his wife. What does that have to do with this blog? Well, read four yourself....

There were words painted on the drive way that said “___  sleeps with mom happy b day,” court documents stated.

Edwardo Saldana’s wife said they had separated and that he had recently moved back into her home. The couple had gone to Galveston with her son to celebrate a friend’s birthday.

Saldana’s wife said they got into an argument and he took the only vehicle and left everyone else in Galveston.

Saldana later told a work supervisor that he found his wife and stepson in a room with their pants down and that he got scared and left, but went to the house where he poured gasoline in the bedrooms and burned furniture on the patio, according to court documents.

I'm guessing Saldana wouldn't have consented to a polyamorous or open relationship, at least not involving his stepson.

Would an arsonist lie? Consensual incest allegations are no small matter in Texas, which actually has a law criminalizing sex even between first cousins, even though heterosexual first cousins can legally marry in about half of US states. If there is something going on between the mother and son, they should keep quiet about it because it sounds like the only witness is a guy who has issues with the law himself.

Read more »

Posted in: cheating,consanguineous,family reaction,mother-son,Texas

Update on Alabama Prosecution of Son

I last caught news on this case in December. Stephen McLamb reports at waff.com that a man convicted on a charge of incest for an encounter with his mother was criminally sentenced and released. Two important things to note about this are that...

1. It wasn't clear in earlier reports if this was a case of consensual mother-son sex or whether the son sexually assaulted his mother. At at least one point, she claimed it was consensual. Perhaps that is why the charge is "incest" and not for sexual assault or rape.

2. If this was an assault, the sentence and time served are ridiculously lenient. If it was consensual this shouldn't have been a criminal matter to begin with.

What's going on in Marshall County?

Gary Dean Helms was sentenced Monday afternoon to 10 years in jail, but the judge split the sentence to serve 1046 days, which is the time he has already served.

Ten years. Ten years for consensual sex is ridiculous. Serving only five years for sexual assault is infuriating. Which is it?

Helms pleaded guilty to incest from a 2006 incident where Helms became upset with his brother and then had sex with his mother.

Rapists don't "have sex" with their victims. They assault them.

His mother at first had said she was raped and later said it was consensual.

Was she initially trying to protect herself from bigotry and prosecution? Or did she move away from the truth to protect her attacker? We don't know.

Helms was ordered to serve five years supervised probation and register as a sex offender.

If he's a predator he should be registered as an offender. But if this was consensual sex he's no threat to anyone. This is why laws criminalizing consensual adult sex need to be removed.

If this was consensual and they still want to be together, nobody should be able to stop them.

Read more »

Posted in: Alabama,boundaries,consanguineous,courts,incest,lack of equality harms,law,mother-son,prosecution

Update on Alabama Prosecution of Son

I last caught news on this case in December. Stephen McLamb reports at waff.com that a man convicted on a charge of incest for an encounter with his mother was criminally sentenced and released. Two important things to note about this are that...

1. It wasn't clear in earlier reports if this was a case of consensual mother-son sex or whether the son sexually assaulted his mother. At at least one point, she claimed it was consensual. Perhaps that is why the charge is "incest" and not for sexual assault or rape.

2. If this was an assault, the sentence and time served are ridiculously lenient. If it was consensual this shouldn't have been a criminal matter to begin with.

What's going on in Marshall County?

Gary Dean Helms was sentenced Monday afternoon to 10 years in jail, but the judge split the sentence to serve 1046 days, which is the time he has already served.

Ten years. Ten years for consensual sex is ridiculous. Serving only five years for sexual assault is infuriating. Which is it?

Helms pleaded guilty to incest from a 2006 incident where Helms became upset with his brother and then had sex with his mother.

Rapists don't "have sex" with their victims. They assault them.

His mother at first had said she was raped and later said it was consensual.

Was she initially trying to protect herself from bigotry and prosecution? Or did she move away from the truth to protect her attacker? We don't know.

Helms was ordered to serve five years supervised probation and register as a sex offender.

If he's a predator he should be registered as an offender. But if this was consensual sex he's no threat to anyone. This is why laws criminalizing consensual adult sex need to be removed.

If this was consensual and they still want to be together, nobody should be able to stop them.

Read more »

Posted in: Alabama,boundaries,consanguineous,courts,incest,lack of equality harms,law,mother-son,prosecution

Polyandry Again

I previously wrote about this fraternal polyandry (which is a form of polygamy) situation that is being profiled in them media. The folks at dailymail.co.uk had more pictures of this family and some more information.

The set-up may seem peculiar, but it is tradition in the small village near Dehradun, Northern India, for women to also marry the brothers of their first husband.

Remember, where this is, this is traditional marriage.

  

The ancient Hindu tradition of polyandry was once widely practiced in India, but is now only observed by a minority.

 

It sees a woman take more than one husband, typically in areas which are male dominated.

In fraternal polyandry the woman is expected to marry each of her original husband's brothers.

Polyandry isn't for everyone, but there are people all over world who are in polyandrous relationships because it is what is best for them. That is their right, and they shouldn't be denied by discrimination.

Read more »

Posted in: India,polyandry,polygamy

Polyandry Again

I previously wrote about this fraternal polyandry (which is a form of polygamy) situation that is being profiled in them media. The folks at dailymail.co.uk had more pictures of this family and some more information.

The set-up may seem peculiar, but it is tradition in the small village near Dehradun, Northern India, for women to also marry the brothers of their first husband.

Remember, where this is, this is traditional marriage.

  

The ancient Hindu tradition of polyandry was once widely practiced in India, but is now only observed by a minority.

 

It sees a woman take more than one husband, typically in areas which are male dominated.

In fraternal polyandry the woman is expected to marry each of her original husband's brothers.

Polyandry isn't for everyone, but there are people all over world who are in polyandrous relationships because it is what is best for them. That is their right, and they shouldn't be denied by discrimination.

Read more »

Posted in: India,polyandry,polygamy

Lovers Should Not Have to Hide

There was a comment by Anonymous left on this previous entry:

The good news is that for every case like this where consenting adults are persecuted by society and the government, there are many more where the lovers are free to live as they please because they are competent enough to keep their relationship a secret.

I agree that that for every relationship that draws law enforcement action or media coverage, there are many more where consanguineous lovers have happy, positive relationships and experiences that do not get wide attention and aren’t prosecuted. Sometimes, only the individuals involved know.

So many siblings or relatives close in age have experimented as teenagers, some later. And some end up living as spouses.

I also agree that if someone can’t handle the fallout, they should try to keep things secret. While I think raising awareness will generally make things better, especially as people see the beauty and harmlessness of consanguinamory in real people, I advise caution when it comes to being public, including online (social networking, etc.) Coming out must be a personal decision made by those involved. My friends who inspired this blog have opted to use pseudonyms and only come out to a very few people so far, and I honor and support that.

However, my larger point is that no adult should have to hide their consensual relationship with another adult.

As I type, DOMA, which prevents national recognition of (monogamous nonconsanguineous) same-sex marriages is being scrutinized by US Senators [UPDATE March 20, 2013: The US Supreme Court is going to be hearing a case on this next week!]. It should be scrapped. And so should laws that punish consanguinamory and deny the freedom to marry to consanguineous lovers. It has to start somehow. If Rosa Parks had moved to the back of the bus, she could have avoided drawing attention to herself. But she shouldn’t have been asked to move in the first place. If the people at Stonewall had simply dispersed and never come back, they could have kept on hiding. But they should have been able to enjoy themselves and each other and associate freely without any police interference.

I understand that that some people enjoy consanguinamory as blissful shared secret, perhaps even enjoying that they can consider themselves as rebels or outlaws, or otherwise enjoying breaking what some consider a taboo. There are some who keep it casual, or have some sort of arrangement with each other for “dry spells” or to cheating on their spouses, or whatever it is. Those people are happy being in the closet, and that works as long as they don’t get caught.

But others want to share their lives, and perhaps get married. They don’t want to have to hide the most powerful love they’ve known. And they should not have to. They should be able to hold hands as they walk on the beach. They should be able to dance together and share a peck at wedding receptions. They should be able to join in conversations about sex without lying about the person they love with all of their heart and body.

And, despite their best efforts, some people who do try to be discreet are found out. A text message, a picture, someone seeing them through a window... it happens. When someone is in love, especially around the person(s) they love, other people (especially those who know them well) can sniff it out. Others are simply ignorant that the jurisdiction in which they live outlaws consanguinamory. They don’t feel wrong for loving each other, and they don’t imagine that consensual sex between adults could be a crime. Because it shouldn't be.

We could tell people they should have been more careful. But I think it is better to direct our energy towards making sure that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults.

It is those who prosecute consenting adults who should feel stupid and should be ridiculed, not the consenting adults who didn’t hide their love.

Read more »

Posted in: allies,boundaries,coming out,consanguineous,family reaction,freedom to marry,incest,law,love,media,persecution,prejudice,prosecution

Lovers Should Not Have to Hide

There was a comment by Anonymous left on this previous entry:

The good news is that for every case like this where consenting adults are persecuted by society and the government, there are many more where the lovers are free to live as they please because they are competent enough to keep their relationship a secret.

I agree that that for every relationship that draws law enforcement action or media coverage, there are many more where consanguineous lovers have happy, positive relationships and experiences that do not get wide attention and aren’t prosecuted. Sometimes, only the individuals involved know.

So many siblings or relatives close in age have experimented as teenagers, some later. And some end up living as spouses.

I also agree that if someone can’t handle the fallout, they should try to keep things secret. While I think raising awareness will generally make things better, especially as people see the beauty and harmlessness of consanguinamory in real people, I advise caution when it comes to being public, including online (social networking, etc.) Coming out must be a personal decision made by those involved. My friends who inspired this blog have opted to use pseudonyms and only come out to a very few people so far, and I honor and support that.

However, my larger point is that no adult should have to hide their consensual relationship with another adult.

As I type, DOMA, which prevents national recognition of (monogamous nonconsanguineous) same-sex marriages is being scrutinized by US Senators [UPDATE March 20, 2013: The US Supreme Court is going to be hearing a case on this next week!]. It should be scrapped. And so should laws that punish consanguinamory and deny the freedom to marry to consanguineous lovers. It has to start somehow. If Rosa Parks had moved to the back of the bus, she could have avoided drawing attention to herself. But she shouldn’t have been asked to move in the first place. If the people at Stonewall had simply dispersed and never come back, they could have kept on hiding. But they should have been able to enjoy themselves and each other and associate freely without any police interference.

I understand that that some people enjoy consanguinamory as blissful shared secret, perhaps even enjoying that they can consider themselves as rebels or outlaws, or otherwise enjoying breaking what some consider a taboo. There are some who keep it casual, or have some sort of arrangement with each other for “dry spells” or to cheating on their spouses, or whatever it is. Those people are happy being in the closet, and that works as long as they don’t get caught.

But others want to share their lives, and perhaps get married. They don’t want to have to hide the most powerful love they’ve known. And they should not have to. They should be able to hold hands as they walk on the beach. They should be able to dance together and share a peck at wedding receptions. They should be able to join in conversations about sex without lying about the person they love with all of their heart and body.

And, despite their best efforts, some people who do try to be discreet are found out. A text message, a picture, someone seeing them through a window... it happens. When someone is in love, especially around the person(s) they love, other people (especially those who know them well) can sniff it out. Others are simply ignorant that the jurisdiction in which they live outlaws consanguinamory. They don’t feel wrong for loving each other, and they don’t imagine that consensual sex between adults could be a crime. Because it shouldn't be.

We could tell people they should have been more careful. But I think it is better to direct our energy towards making sure that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults.

It is those who prosecute consenting adults who should feel stupid and should be ridiculed, not the consenting adults who didn’t hide their love.

Read more »

Posted in: allies,boundaries,coming out,consanguineous,family reaction,freedom to marry,incest,law,love,media,persecution,prejudice,prosecution

Keeping Track of Polyamory's Media Rise

Alan at Polyamory in the the News has had so much more to do lately! That's because his blog is a great place to find roundups and links to media that depicts or discusses polyamory, whether news item or a television show. Since polyamory has been emerging from the closet and rightfully getting attention from major news periodicals, broadcasters and studios, there's so much more for Alan to do.

If you haven't done so already, I encourage you to checkout the blog and bookmark it or subscribe to it.

Kudos and thanks to Alan for what he does.

Read more »

Posted in: media,polyamory

Polyandry is For Some

Polyandry isn't for everyone, but it works for some. In some places in the world, it is traditional marriage. If a woman and multiple men want to be with each other in a polyandrous marriage, why shouldn't they be free to exercise that right? Here's an example of fraternal polyandry from spyghana.com...

Rajo Verma, 21, lives in a one-room shack with all five, sleeping with a different one each night on a rota.

The housewife has no idea which one is the father of her toddler son.

She said: “Initially it felt a bit awkward. But I don’t favour one over the other.”

Husband Guddu, 21 — the first to make her his bride — insisted: “We all have sex with her but I’m not jealous. We’re one big happy family.”

This marriage was actually arranged, but there are people who choose such marriages for themselves.

The couple got hitched in an arranged Hindu marriage four years ago and he remains her only official spouse.

But the custom in their village is she had to take as husbands his brothers Bajju, 32, Sant Ram, 28, Gopal, 26, and Dinesh — who married her last year when he turned 18.

Eldest brother Bajju said: “I consider her my wife and sleep with her like my brothers.” Rajo cooks, cleans and looks after 18-month-old Jay while her hubbies go out to work in Dehradun, northern India.

She said of the ancient tradition, called polyandry: “My mother was also married to three brothers so when I got wed I knew I had to accept all of them as my husbands.

“I sleep with them in turn. We don’t have beds, just lots of blankets on the floor.

“I get a lot more attention and love than most wives.”

What if they immigrated to the US or another country that would make her deny some or all of her husbands? It is just one of many real examples of why the US Supreme Court should rule for full marriage equality.

Read more »

Posted in: children,freedom to marry,India,love,polyandry,polygamy,religion,siblings

Polyandry is For Some

Polyandry isn't for everyone, but it works for some. In some places in the world, it is traditional marriage. If a woman and multiple men want to be with each other in a polyandrous marriage, why shouldn't they be free to exercise that right? Here's an example of fraternal polyandry from spyghana.com...

Rajo Verma, 21, lives in a one-room shack with all five, sleeping with a different one each night on a rota.

The housewife has no idea which one is the father of her toddler son.

She said: “Initially it felt a bit awkward. But I don’t favour one over the other.”

Husband Guddu, 21 — the first to make her his bride — insisted: “We all have sex with her but I’m not jealous. We’re one big happy family.”

This marriage was actually arranged, but there are people who choose such marriages for themselves.

The couple got hitched in an arranged Hindu marriage four years ago and he remains her only official spouse.

But the custom in their village is she had to take as husbands his brothers Bajju, 32, Sant Ram, 28, Gopal, 26, and Dinesh — who married her last year when he turned 18.

Eldest brother Bajju said: “I consider her my wife and sleep with her like my brothers.” Rajo cooks, cleans and looks after 18-month-old Jay while her hubbies go out to work in Dehradun, northern India.

She said of the ancient tradition, called polyandry: “My mother was also married to three brothers so when I got wed I knew I had to accept all of them as my husbands.

“I sleep with them in turn. We don’t have beds, just lots of blankets on the floor.

“I get a lot more attention and love than most wives.”

What if they immigrated to the US or another country that would make her deny some or all of her husbands? It is just one of many real examples of why the US Supreme Court should rule for full marriage equality.

Read more »

Posted in: children,freedom to marry,India,love,polyandry,polygamy,religion,siblings

The Biggest Problem Seems to Be Prejudice

Here's an article about Teresa Weiler, who search for information about her biological parents and found out they were brother and sister.

Until then all she knew about her past was that she had been abandoned at birth by her mother and then spent three years in an orphanage before being adopted.

Sad. Perhaps if her mother had been supported, that wouldn't have happened. At least she was adopted.

The article then references Penny Lawrence and Garry Ryan.

But it was not only their relationship that enraged Sun readers - it was their decision to have a baby.

Even though their child could be born with mental or physical disabilities, six-weeks-pregnant Penny said she would terminate the foetus if scans showed a problem.

Every pregnancy involves risk of producing a child with mental or physical disabilities.

Today angry Teresa warns the couple that heartache and possible physical problems lie ahead for them. She has been plagued by poor health and decided to be CHILDLESS for fear she could pass on a genetic defect.

I'm sorry Teresa has physical problems. Would she rather not have been born? Most children born to consanguineous parents are okay.

"This child will undoubtedly find out the secret about Penny and Garry's relationship as they have spoken so brazenly about it in public. It will be very confusing and mentally damaging for that child."

It doesn't have to be if we can reduce prejudice against consanguinamory.

Teresa, a manager at a children's home, was left in hospital by her birth mother and spent her first three years in an orphanage in Brentwood, Essex.

From there, she was adopted by Terence and Truda Weiler and enjoyed a happy, loving childhood with two older brothers and a younger sister.

There's something to be said for that. It is a good thing she was born.

Finding this out hit me hard. The idea I was the child of incest made me feel dirty.

Why? Your parents clearly loved each other.

Social services had written that my mother was a 16-year-old unmarried waitress from Belfast.

"They named my father as her 14-year-old brother. I felt physically sick by what I read.

Why? Would it have been better if her teenaged mother had been impregnated by a stranger?

"It was a shock to see my birth mother and she was with a man who she introduced as her friend. They looked alike and I looked like both of them. To this day I believe it was her brother - my father."

If they were still together, that's saying a lot. How many relationships between teenagers last? If they had been supported more, they could have raised their daughter themselves. Teresa does have one medical issue, as the article describes, but most of the population deals with at least one medical issue. The biggest problem for her seems to be prejudice and self-loathing, unfortunately. Acceptance would go a long way to making things better.

See Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory

Read more »

Posted in: brother-sister,children,consanguineous,incest,lack of equality harms,love,media,prejudice,reunion,siblings,stigma

The Biggest Problem Seems to Be Prejudice

Here's an article about Teresa Weiler, who search for information about her biological parents and found out they were brother and sister.

Until then all she knew about her past was that she had been abandoned at birth by her mother and then spent three years in an orphanage before being adopted.

Sad. Perhaps if her mother had been supported, that wouldn't have happened. At least she was adopted.

The article then references Penny Lawrence and Garry Ryan.

But it was not only their relationship that enraged Sun readers - it was their decision to have a baby.

Even though their child could be born with mental or physical disabilities, six-weeks-pregnant Penny said she would terminate the foetus if scans showed a problem.

Every pregnancy involves risk of producing a child with mental or physical disabilities.

Today angry Teresa warns the couple that heartache and possible physical problems lie ahead for them. She has been plagued by poor health and decided to be CHILDLESS for fear she could pass on a genetic defect.

I'm sorry Teresa has physical problems. Would she rather not have been born? Most children born to consanguineous parents are okay.

"This child will undoubtedly find out the secret about Penny and Garry's relationship as they have spoken so brazenly about it in public. It will be very confusing and mentally damaging for that child."

It doesn't have to be if we can reduce prejudice against consanguinamory.

Teresa, a manager at a children's home, was left in hospital by her birth mother and spent her first three years in an orphanage in Brentwood, Essex.

From there, she was adopted by Terence and Truda Weiler and enjoyed a happy, loving childhood with two older brothers and a younger sister.

There's something to be said for that. It is a good thing she was born.

Finding this out hit me hard. The idea I was the child of incest made me feel dirty.

Why? Your parents clearly loved each other.

Social services had written that my mother was a 16-year-old unmarried waitress from Belfast.

"They named my father as her 14-year-old brother. I felt physically sick by what I read.

Why? Would it have been better if her teenaged mother had been impregnated by a stranger?

"It was a shock to see my birth mother and she was with a man who she introduced as her friend. They looked alike and I looked like both of them. To this day I believe it was her brother - my father."

If they were still together, that's saying a lot. How many relationships between teenagers last? If they had been supported more, they could have raised their daughter themselves. Teresa does have one medical issue, as the article describes, but most of the population deals with at least one medical issue. The biggest problem for her seems to be prejudice and self-loathing, unfortunately. Acceptance would go a long way to making things better.

See Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory

Read more »

Posted in: brother-sister,children,consanguineous,incest,lack of equality harms,love,media,prejudice,reunion,siblings,stigma

Consanguineous Marriages Common in Arab Countries

According to news printed at menafn.com, the country of Oman has more consanguineous marriages than most Arab countries, but there are nearby countries with higher rates. Consanguineous marriages have been common in many other regions of the world, too, for much of history. It's ridiculous that there are some US states that ban the consanguineous freedom to marry.

According to the data provided by M Mazharul Islam, assistant professor at SQU's department of mathematics and statistics, Oman is sixth after Sudan (63.3 per cent), Iraq (57.8 per cent), Saudi Arabia (56 per cent), Kuwait (54.3per cent) and Qatar (54 per cent) when it comes to consanguineous marriages. The rate is 40.2 per cent in urban areas and 34.1 per cent in rural areas.

Islam said, ''Data shows that the rate of consanguineous marriages in Oman is higher than observed in most Arab countries including Egypt (21 per cent), Morocco (22.8 per cent), Algeria (34 per cent ), Syria (35.4 per cent), Lebanon (37.8 per cent), Tunisia (39.3 per cent), Bahrain (43.1 per cent), Yemen (44.7 per cent), Mauritania (47.2 per cent), Jordan (48.1per cent), Libya (48.4 per cent) and the UAE (50.5 per cent), but lower than Qatar, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Sudan.

And...

He added, ''Unions between first cousins were the most common type of consanguineous unions, constituting 39 per cent of all marriages and 75 per cent of all consanguineous marriages. About 11 per cent of the marriages are polygynous.''

And...

He further revealed that a Nizwa Hospital-based study showed higher risk of congenital disorder among children of consanguineous couples than those of non-consanguineous couples. The risk of disfigurement and hepatitis is over two times higher among children from consanguine parents.

That means that if there is a 2% chance of any child having such a problem, a child born to consanguineous parents has a 4% chance. It isn't just genetics. It can be because they grew up in the same environment or had the same diet or otherwise had a similar lifestyle, ingesting the same toxins. Of course, unrelated people can have children with birth defects or diseases. Anyone who is worried about to get genetic counseling.

Read more »

Posted in: children,consanguineous,cousins,polygyny,science

When Incest is a Consensual, Positive Experience

There are people who would have everyone believe that there are no happy consanguinamorous relationships. That romance or eroticism with a close biological relative can only be a bad experience. Over at PFI [a site that doesn't exist anymore... go to Kindred Spirits for an existing place to talk], one discussion participant asked a question and answered it first…

If you could go back in time to where it all started and have the knowledge you do now about what lay ahead of you in this thing called incest, would you still go through with it ??

i've thought about it many times, and the answer i come up is yes i would, sure there are many tears and hard times you go through, but for me the good has always outweighed the bad, life is what you make of it, and we've made a very good life for ourselves....

The first response…

In spite of all the difficulties, I'd do it all the same way. This kind of love is so much deeper and comfortable and intense than anything I've experienced with other people. It's just that worth it, in my opinion.

The second response…

If I could go back in time, knowing what I now know, I would have gladly lost my virginity to uncle. We had the opportunity when I was 16 and I bottled it and I do regret that. I feel I have wasted too many years worrying about possible consequences and I'm kicking myself! I'm just enjoying making up for lost time with my darling. We can't meet up very often so every second is precious with him but we email every day and telephone every week. He truly makes my heart leap for joy.

The third response…

If I could go back to that time, knowing what I know now, I would not have been so concerned about the rest of the world. Not so worried about what they would think or say or do. I would have more trust in my love and my own feelings. We wasted so many years of our life, stuck, not being together and longing for each other. We were not following our hearts. Now, being without her would be the most horrible form of hell I can imagine.

The fourth response came from the third respondent’s partner…

Awww... I feel the same way. I wish I could go back to that moment knowing what I know now... I would be in your arms in a heartbeat you are my soulmate and I love you...

The fifth response…

Yep!

Another…

It's not always fun and games,but I've never regretted it.We've had a lot of good times together and I look forward to many,many more special memories.It's great to be with someone who I can experience that deep emotional connection with.I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Not one of the responses I saw expressed regret at having gotten involved in consanguinamory.

If you haven't done so already, be sure to read the interviews I have conducted here.

Every sexual or romantic relationship carries the risk of heartache. Consenting adults should not also be forced to endure prosecution nor persecution. They should he allowed their happiness. And if they do break up, they should be comforted, rather than lectured.

Read more »

Posted in: aunt-nephew,brother-sister,consanguineous,father-daughter,love,mother-son,sister-sister,uncle-niece

When Incest is a Consensual, Positive Experience

There are people who would have everyone believe that there are no happy consanguinamorous relationships. That romance or eroticism with a close biological relative can only be a bad experience. Over at PFI [a site that doesn't exist anymore... go to Kindred Spirits for an existing place to talk], one discussion participant asked a question and answered it first…

If you could go back in time to where it all started and have the knowledge you do now about what lay ahead of you in this thing called incest, would you still go through with it ??

i've thought about it many times, and the answer i come up is yes i would, sure there are many tears and hard times you go through, but for me the good has always outweighed the bad, life is what you make of it, and we've made a very good life for ourselves....

The first response…

In spite of all the difficulties, I'd do it all the same way. This kind of love is so much deeper and comfortable and intense than anything I've experienced with other people. It's just that worth it, in my opinion.

The second response…

If I could go back in time, knowing what I now know, I would have gladly lost my virginity to uncle. We had the opportunity when I was 16 and I bottled it and I do regret that. I feel I have wasted too many years worrying about possible consequences and I'm kicking myself! I'm just enjoying making up for lost time with my darling. We can't meet up very often so every second is precious with him but we email every day and telephone every week. He truly makes my heart leap for joy.

The third response…

If I could go back to that time, knowing what I know now, I would not have been so concerned about the rest of the world. Not so worried about what they would think or say or do. I would have more trust in my love and my own feelings. We wasted so many years of our life, stuck, not being together and longing for each other. We were not following our hearts. Now, being without her would be the most horrible form of hell I can imagine.

The fourth response came from the third respondent’s partner…

Awww... I feel the same way. I wish I could go back to that moment knowing what I know now... I would be in your arms in a heartbeat you are my soulmate and I love you...

The fifth response…

Yep!

Another…

It's not always fun and games,but I've never regretted it.We've had a lot of good times together and I look forward to many,many more special memories.It's great to be with someone who I can experience that deep emotional connection with.I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Not one of the responses I saw expressed regret at having gotten involved in consanguinamory.

If you haven't done so already, be sure to read the interviews I have conducted here.

Every sexual or romantic relationship carries the risk of heartache. Consenting adults should not also be forced to endure prosecution nor persecution. They should he allowed their happiness. And if they do break up, they should be comforted, rather than lectured.

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Posted in: aunt-nephew,brother-sister,consanguineous,father-daughter,love,mother-son,sister-sister,uncle-niece

Same-Sex Marriage Cases in the Michigan Mix

As the SCOTUS perpares to consider some momentous same-sex marriage cases this term in Washington, D.C., Michigan has a few cases of its own that deserve consideration.  Federal District Judge Bernard Friedman has recently taken one case under advisement in Detroit as he awaits direction from the SCOTUS on this issue; while the other case involves today's Up North wedding between two men, pictured at left, Tim LaCroix and Gene Barfield.

Michigan is an interesting state for the same-sex marriage issue to arise. In 2004, voters approved a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.  If SCOTUS declares a similar ban in California unconstitutional, the floodgates could be opened for same-sex couples.

In the case pending in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan, a gay couple first set out to challenge the adoption laws that they alleged discriminated against same-sex couples.  Their lawsuit then morphed into a challenge to Michigan's 2004 constitutional amendment which defines a marriage as between a man and a woman.  Plaintiffs in the suit are a lesbian couple from Hazel Park.

Defending Michigan's constitution is the Michigan Attorney General, who argues that the amendment does not discriminate against specific groups but rather, is merely "an affirmative statement about the virtues of traditional marriage".

Today's Up North wedding between the two men is scheduled to take place at an unknown location; presumably somewhere on the Odawa Indian Reservation or lands.  The same-sex marriage was endorsed by a close majority of the legislative body of the Indian Tribe.

Because the tribe to which the men belong is recognized by the U.S. Government, it is not bound by state law thus, the 2004 constitutional amendment does not apply to the Tribe.  Major-league loophole.

We here at the Law Blogger, like Judge Friedman, will be watching SCOTUS for its decision on the issue.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: Gene Barfield,Judge Bernard Friedman,Michigan Attorney General,same-sex marriage,SCOTUS,Tim LaCroix

One Example of Why Full Marriage Equality is Needed

There is so much to blog about here, but for now I want to call your attention (again) to an interview I did with Linda, Melissa, and Matthew. They there the people who originally inspired this blog as I had a personal relationship with them before I decided I needed to do more to promote full marriage equality.

I have been able to personally witness this how much love this polycule has, and the beauty of their marriage. They should be free to not only be themselves, but legally marry. That can't happen without full marriage equality.

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Posted in: brother-sister,consanguineous,GSA,love,mother-daughter,mother-son,polyamory

One Example of Why Full Marriage Equality is Needed

There is so much to blog about here, but for now I want to call your attention (again) to an interview I did with Linda, Melissa, and Matthew. They there the people who originally inspired this blog as I had a personal relationship with them before I decided I needed to do more to promote full marriage equality.

I have been able to personally witness this how much love this polycule has, and the beauty of their marriage. They should be free to not only be themselves, but legally marry. That can't happen without full marriage equality.

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Posted in: brother-sister,consanguineous,GSA,love,mother-daughter,mother-son,polyamory

Mormon Murder Provides Unique Cross-Examination Opportunity

Jeeze, the American media sure loves a good capital murder trial; especially one with the whiff of religion mixed with the spectre of the death penalty.  Plenty of grist for their insatiable mills.

Not since Under the Banner of Heaven, Jon Krakauer's fascinating account of the 1984 murders of a Mormon housewife and her 15-month daughter in Utah at the hands of her brothers-in-law, has the Mormon faith been enmeshed with a lurid murder like the trial grinding-onward in Phoenix, Arizona.

Yes, that would be the capital murder trial of the Casey-Anthonyesque "former model", Jodi Arias; accused of shooting, then slicing the throat of her Mormon boyfriend, Travis Alexander.  As a criminal defense lawyer traveling to circuit and district courts across Michigan, I've had plenty of time to listen-in on this sensational trial over the past two-months.

While quite rare to have any defendant take the witness stand in her own defense, it is exceedingly rare for a defendant accused of murder to take the witness stand in a jury trial.  Rarer still is to have the ongoing cross-examination of that defendant available in real-time for more than two weeks.

Cross-examination is the art of controlling a witness in order to convey a story, or a message, to a captive audience of 12 jurors; each of whom have somewhere else to be.  It is a skill that few lawyers can pull-off very well.  Like golf, you cannot just pick it up on the occasional weekend.  While there are boatloads of lawyers out there, only a handful have viable cross-examination skills.

The Jodi Arias trial is so lurid, with such high shock-value, it is a cross-examiner's dream.  A county prosecutor good enough to be assigned to a high-profile case is going to be a proficient cross-examiner.  Just listening to Juan Martinez cross-examining Ms. Arias, as a criminal defense lawyer, is like being in a trial clinic.

But 18-days on the witness stand?  Most judges have local court rules allowing them to control the decorum and procedure in their courtrooms, especially during a jury trial.  This power includes limiting time on the witness stand.  Most court watchers agree that this trial has turned into spectacle and has sailed over-the-top.

On the other hand, once you allow a genie like this out of the bottle, how then can you limit its scope when it takes on a life of its own.  If the Arias defense team tosses her a hundred softballs on a myriad of subjects in her direct examination [i.e. dates, times, family history, abuse history, sexual habits; each in excruciating detail], then what is a prosecutor to do but dutifully explore each and every door that has been thrown open.

Add to this the national media attention to the case, and viola; the politician within the judge in charge of such a circus is not going to prematurely turn the nation's eyes away, especially when that judge is center stage for the ever-ready lens of the voracious national media.

Nor can we forget to account for the potential value to the defendant, win or lose, of grabbing America by the shorties for as long as she can hold-on, in order to maximize her capital in the notoriety bank; the added-value could come in handy further down her tough road ahead.  From a long-term strategy perspective, this makes sense if you are Ms. Arias; and from what I've heard, she's got her head in the game.

We here at the Law Blogger defend the accused in jury trials all the time; admittedly, not high-profile murder cases.  We know some good judges here in Oakland County that could fit five or six murder trials into the yawning span of the Arias trial.  In the end, this spectacle amounts to a huge waste of legal talent and judicial resources.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: capital murder,Casey Anthony,criminal defense lawyer,cross-examination,death penalty,Jodi Arias,Jon Krakauer,Juan Martinez,Mormon,murder,Oakland County,Travis Alexander

Winners and Losers in the 313

To the extent that completing a federal prison sentence is a win, then today was a good day for former Detroit City Councilwoman, Monica Conyers.  Ironic that as Monica completes her  36-month truncated sentence, former Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is getting a head-start this week on his own federal sentence.

Monica Conyers has now paid her "official" debt back to the citizens of the City of Detroit and the State of Michigan for her federal bribery conviction.  The total debt for breaches of the public trust like these, however, can never be paid in full.

The two Motown politicians have long-been connected at the hip here in the D.  Kilpatrick's public service career came to a crashing end in March 2008, just prior to his being charged with state law felonies.  The Detroit City Council passed a non-binding resolution 7-1 to remove him from office; Conyers was Kwame's sole supporter; her lone vote cast just as her own official career came to similarly ignominious end.

Both convicts have family that have served in Congress.  Monica Conyers is the wife of long-serving Congressman John Conyers from Michigan's re-tooled 13th District; Kwame's Mother, Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick, represented Michigan's re-tooled 14th District from 1996 until she was defeated by Hansen Clarke in 2010, while her son's legal battles were heating-up.  Kilpatrick's Father, Bernard Kilpatrick, once served as chief-of-staff for former Wayne County Executive Robert McNamara; you just could not be better connected in Wayne County or Detroit.

For his part, Kwame's as yet un-sentenced jury convictions for abuse of the public trust, embezzlement, racketeering, and a bushel full of other counts, have rendered his torrid Wikipedia biography woefully out-of-date.  Kipatrick's expected decade-plus sentence will be meted-out sometime later this spring.

Even accounting for the significant good-behavior credits available in the federal penitentiary, the former mayor is going to do a long-bit; the federal sentencing guidelines are not something to trifle with.  Kilpatrick's prior state-law convictions and the multi-million-dollar amounts of the illegal contracts in his case will jack-up his sentence.  

We here at the Law Blogger feel bad for Kwame's three young sons; they are part of the human price that will now be paid.  It's all bad, for everyone.  The former Mayor and Councilwoman do not deserve public forgiveness.  Their cases illustrate the deep costs of such poor decisions and criminal conduct.  They have robbed us all.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: Bernard Kilpatrick,Detroit,Detroit City Council,John Conyers,Kwame Kilpatrick,Monica Conyers,prison,public trust