Double-Dipping on Alimony

The original "double-dip".

Many of us, when we think of “double-dipping,” immediately envision George Costanza nonchalantly eating chips and dip at a boring party. He bites the chip, dips, bites again, dips again, oblivious and happy.

Meanwhile, a fellow party-goer and disgusted onlooker cannot contain the impulse to put a stop to this obvious dip-contaminating behavior and confronts George. Inane hilarity ensues; check it out here.  [Note: Post-Seinfeld generation and long-time Seinfeld enthusiasts – you’re welcome.]

Double-dipping, in the world of family law, typically refers to the way assets are valued in the division of a marital estate.  A recent Michigan Court of Appeals decision, Loutts v Loutts, addresses this issue of “double-dipping” in the spousal support context.

This divorce case originated in the Washtenaw County family court.  One of the main issues in the case was how to determine an appropriate spousal support award where the marital assets included a business valued at more than a quarter million dollars.

The husband started, owned, and operated the business. When the family court awarded half of the business value to his wife, the question became: what income should be imputed to husband now that half the value of the business had been conveyed to wife?

When determining spousal support, the parties’ incomes must be determined so that the family court may decide how to equitably balance the incomes. The Michigan Court of Appeals has articulated a balancing test such that:

the primary purpose of spousal support is to balance the parties’ incomes and needs such that neither party will be impoverished, and spousal support must be based on what is just and reasonable considering the circumstances.

The family court can only perform this balance test on a case-by-case basis – typically unwilling to follow any bright-line rules for determining the rate and term of a spousal support award.

The family court in Loutts, after awarding wife half the value of the business, imputed approximately $130,000 income to husband.  This imputed income was utilized to “equitably balance” the incomes of the parties.

In doing so, the family court judge relied on case law to determine that “the value of a business may be used for the purpose of either property distribution or spousal support, but not both.” On appeal, wife argued that the court should have used the full-value of the business in determining her spousal support award.

The Court of Appeals disagreed, remanding this issue back to the family court for a re-determination of spousal support based upon the specific facts and circumstances of the case.  In their opinion, the Court of Appeals stated that the trial court’s reliance upon the Heller v Heller case was misplaced to the extent that, “the appellate court stated that its determination that a double-dip was inequitable was based on the facts of that case alone and was not a determination that double-dipping is never permissible.”  [The emphasis is ours.]

The obvious "take-away" from this recent case is that, when it comes to determining spousal support, bright-line rules simply do not apply. Rather, the family court judge should consider a variety of factors, including: the conduct of the parties, their ability to work, their ages, needs, health, present situation, prior standard of living, ability to pay alimony, and general principles of equity.

Double-dipping might be ok – given specific factual and equitable circumstances.  Exactly what those circumstances are remains a fuzzy, mutable, arguable enigma, ripe for the art of legal persuasion.

The one constant is that each case before the family court is unique and should be considered so by the judge.

Also of note in the Loutts decision is that the Court of Appeals wasted no time in upholding a 3-year non-compete provision that applied to the business and to which wife agreed, but appealed.  The Court held that you get what you bargain for.

www.waterfordlegal.com
info@waterfordlegal.com

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Posted in: alimony,double dipping,family court,George Costanza,Michigan Court of Appeals,Seinfeld,spousal support,Washtenaw County Family Court

Was Lord Byron Consanguinamorous?

We know that consaguinamory is nothing new. One of the famous possible instances from the 19th century involved Lord Byron. Annette McIntyre at ilkleygazette.co.uk writes...

 

Books donated to a secondhand shop have cast light onto the scandalous 19th century family history of the renowned poet Lord Byron.

The volumes provide an insight in the life of Byron’s half-sister Augusta Leigh – the purported incestuous love-interest behind his departure to fight in Greece.

Augusta had seven children, one of whom, Elizabeth Medora, was thought by many to be Byron’s love-child.

Those involved in, or at least accused of, consensual incest are in some good company. Another article on this at yorkshirepost.co.uk goes into more details, and perhaps what was going on is what we now call Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Byron and Augusta, five years his elder, shared a father, Captain John “Mad Jack” Byron, who died when the poet was three.

The pair were not raised together and did not meet until around 1803, when Byron was at Harrow School.

See?

Then began an intimate correspondence, with a teenage Byron urging her in one letter to consider him “not only as a brother”, but as her “warmest and most affectionate friend”.

Augusta, who was married to her cousin, Colonel George Leigh, was the poet’s closest relative after his mother died in 1811.

Rumours began to fly about the nature of their relationship in 1813, when Augusta arrived to stay with him in London without her husband and children.

Byron’s letters from that year to another confidante, Lady Melbourne, strongly suggest an incestuous connection.

The following year, Augusta gave birth to a daughter named Elizabeth Medora Leigh, who is widely speculated to have been Byron’s lovechild.

Still, Byron married another...

Byron married Anne Isabella “Annabella” Milbanke in 1815 and they had a child, Augusta Ada, later that year.

Their marriage was short-lived, and Annabella left when their daughter was little over a month old, taking the girl with her and citing incest alongside charges of adultery and cruelty when she filed for separation.

Interesting. Was the charge based on reality, or was it just a tool necessary in the times to justify divorce?

If you want further reading, you might want to check out "Bound By Blood: Incestuous Desire in the Works of Byron" by Heather Stansbury. Here's the abstract...

This article investigates Byron’s use of the incest theme. It departs from the kind of biographical criticism often used to explore the theme of desire in Byron’s work, as this interpretive paradigm both understates the complexity of Byron’s treatment of the theme and neglects its literary precedents. Whatever his personal investment in the subject, the fact is that Byron’s representations of it were significantly indebted to eighteenth-century incest narratives, particularly Gothic works. Further, for Byron, incest is a means of presenting individual conscience and morality, as well as challenging socio-political institutions and religious dogma.

Everyone is better off if adults can be together without having to hide their love for each other. While trying to "protect" marriage, those who try to impose limitations on the sex lives and marriages of others are actually encouraging cheating and sham marriages.

Read more »

Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,children,consanguineous,cousins,GSA,incest,prejudice,siblings,UK

Was Lord Byron Consanguinamorous?

We know that consaguinamory is nothing new. One of the famous possible instances from the 19th century involved Lord Byron. Annette McIntyre at ilkleygazette.co.uk writes...

 

Books donated to a secondhand shop have cast light onto the scandalous 19th century family history of the renowned poet Lord Byron.

The volumes provide an insight in the life of Byron’s half-sister Augusta Leigh – the purported incestuous love-interest behind his departure to fight in Greece.

Augusta had seven children, one of whom, Elizabeth Medora, was thought by many to be Byron’s love-child.

Those involved in, or at least accused of, consensual incest are in some good company. Another article on this at yorkshirepost.co.uk goes into more details, and perhaps what was going on is what we now call Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Byron and Augusta, five years his elder, shared a father, Captain John “Mad Jack” Byron, who died when the poet was three.

The pair were not raised together and did not meet until around 1803, when Byron was at Harrow School.

See?

Then began an intimate correspondence, with a teenage Byron urging her in one letter to consider him “not only as a brother”, but as her “warmest and most affectionate friend”.

Augusta, who was married to her cousin, Colonel George Leigh, was the poet’s closest relative after his mother died in 1811.

Rumours began to fly about the nature of their relationship in 1813, when Augusta arrived to stay with him in London without her husband and children.

Byron’s letters from that year to another confidante, Lady Melbourne, strongly suggest an incestuous connection.

The following year, Augusta gave birth to a daughter named Elizabeth Medora Leigh, who is widely speculated to have been Byron’s lovechild.

Still, Byron married another...

Byron married Anne Isabella “Annabella” Milbanke in 1815 and they had a child, Augusta Ada, later that year.

Their marriage was short-lived, and Annabella left when their daughter was little over a month old, taking the girl with her and citing incest alongside charges of adultery and cruelty when she filed for separation.

Interesting. Was the charge based on reality, or was it just a tool necessary in the times to justify divorce?

If you want further reading, you might want to check out "Bound By Blood: Incestuous Desire in the Works of Byron" by Heather Stansbury. Here's the abstract...

This article investigates Byron’s use of the incest theme. It departs from the kind of biographical criticism often used to explore the theme of desire in Byron’s work, as this interpretive paradigm both understates the complexity of Byron’s treatment of the theme and neglects its literary precedents. Whatever his personal investment in the subject, the fact is that Byron’s representations of it were significantly indebted to eighteenth-century incest narratives, particularly Gothic works. Further, for Byron, incest is a means of presenting individual conscience and morality, as well as challenging socio-political institutions and religious dogma.

Everyone is better off if adults can be together without having to hide their love for each other. While trying to "protect" marriage, those who try to impose limitations on the sex lives and marriages of others are actually encouraging cheating and sham marriages.

Read more »

Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,children,consanguineous,cousins,GSA,incest,prejudice,siblings,UK

Video Clip: Mother and Son Tell of GSA

Bumping this entry up. It has been one of my more popular entries...

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Posted in: consanguineous,GSA,love,mother-son,reunion

Reality at The Escapist

Discussions about youthful consanguineous experimentation and consanguinamory pop up in discussion forums of every sort. At escapistmagazine.com, chinangel kicks off the thread with...

I have a question for The Escapist: what's your opinion on incest, and would you ever engage in it?
 
I am imagining this is going to turn into a flame war at some point, so hey! Let's add some fuel for that fire!
 
I personally have no problem with incest, whatsoever. I have a brother who I kind of crushed on when I was younger and did...stuff...with when I was younger and curious. So I really have no issues with it at all, and really can't understand what makes it 'squicky' to some.
 
So that's my view, your turn escapist

She's not alone, of course. A long discussion has followed. Many people spoke up as allies, and none of the anti-equality postings have invoked anything other than the usual Discredited Arguments.

So once again, we see a positive experience and no reason given as to why people shouldn't be free to be together.

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Posted in: allies,brother-sister,consanguineous,myths,prejudice,siblings

Reality at The Escapist

Discussions about youthful consanguineous experimentation and consanguinamory pop up in discussion forums of every sort. At escapistmagazine.com, chinangel kicks off the thread with...

I have a question for The Escapist: what's your opinion on incest, and would you ever engage in it?
 
I am imagining this is going to turn into a flame war at some point, so hey! Let's add some fuel for that fire!
 
I personally have no problem with incest, whatsoever. I have a brother who I kind of crushed on when I was younger and did...stuff...with when I was younger and curious. So I really have no issues with it at all, and really can't understand what makes it 'squicky' to some.
 
So that's my view, your turn escapist

She's not alone, of course. A long discussion has followed. Many people spoke up as allies, and none of the anti-equality postings have invoked anything other than the usual Discredited Arguments.

So once again, we see a positive experience and no reason given as to why people shouldn't be free to be together.

Read more »

Posted in: allies,brother-sister,consanguineous,myths,prejudice,siblings

Elimination of Some Driver Responsibility Fees

Secretary of State
Ruth Johnson

October 1st, a new law, supported by the Michigan Secretary of State Ruth Johnson, took effect to eliminate some of the more "pesky" of the series of drivers' responsibility fees.

The new law eliminates drivers responsibility fees for the following tickets:

• Operating a vehicle with an expired license;
• Operating without a valid license;
• Having more than one license;
• Failure to surrender license from another state;
• Failure to maintain mandatory vehicle insurance;
• Failure to produce proof of insurance;
• Providing false evidence of insurance.

Some of these fees were required to be paid for two consecutive years at the rate of $150, while some of the transgressions on the above list cost $200 for two years.  If your ticket was issued after October 1st, there is no fee; if the ticket was pending prior to that date, the drivers' responsibility fees are still owed.

The more significant drivers' responsibility fees for the alcohol-related driving offenses are, of course, still in place.  These fees range from $500 to $1000 for two years.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: driver responsibility,drunk driving,Ruth Johnson,Secretary of State

Congratulations to Bobbie Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon

Bobbi Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon plan are planning to marry. Good for them. We've taken a look in prior blog updates at how their relationship is being subject to prejudice in the news media. The latest coverage I found was from Jessica Carlson at examinercom...

Credits: Getty

Bobbi "Krissy" Kristina Brown, 19, daughter of the late pop legend diva, Whitney Houston, has announced that she is going to marry the person she calls her "adopted brother." The news was purposely leaked on Thursday to promote a new reality television series The Houstons: On Our Own about Bobbi Kristina's life after the death of her infamous, legendary mother. The Houstons: On Our Own is set to premiere later in October on Lifetime.

Krissy's fiancé, Nick Gordon, 23, was taken in by Houston when Gordon was only 12. Houston was Gordon's godmother. Although Houston never legally adopted Gordon, Houston raised him as her own and he grew up as Krissy's older brother. Gordon's mother was allegedly forced to give him up because she could no longer care for him.

They know each other well, probably, and perhaps there is nobody else in the world better suited for each other. That they spent time in the same home does not, and should not, hinder their romance.

“I’m in love with him,” says Bobbi.

“They wanna see us fail,” she says to the camera. “I got one thing to say — you won’t.”

I hope not. Reality shows don't seem to have a great effect on relationships. May they have a blissful marriage full of joy and love. Extending the ridiculous bigotry against consanguineous relationships, which is bad enough, to relationships like this one shows just how irrational and arbitrary taboos against consensual adult relationships can be.

Read more »

Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,family reaction,freedom to marry,love,media,siblings,stigma

Congratulations to Bobbie Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon

Bobbi Kristina Brown and Nick Gordon plan are planning to marry. Good for them. We've taken a look in prior blog updates at how their relationship is being subject to prejudice in the news media. The latest coverage I found was from Jessica Carlson at examinercom...

Credits: Getty

Bobbi "Krissy" Kristina Brown, 19, daughter of the late pop legend diva, Whitney Houston, has announced that she is going to marry the person she calls her "adopted brother." The news was purposely leaked on Thursday to promote a new reality television series The Houstons: On Our Own about Bobbi Kristina's life after the death of her infamous, legendary mother. The Houstons: On Our Own is set to premiere later in October on Lifetime.

Krissy's fiancé, Nick Gordon, 23, was taken in by Houston when Gordon was only 12. Houston was Gordon's godmother. Although Houston never legally adopted Gordon, Houston raised him as her own and he grew up as Krissy's older brother. Gordon's mother was allegedly forced to give him up because she could no longer care for him.

They know each other well, probably, and perhaps there is nobody else in the world better suited for each other. That they spent time in the same home does not, and should not, hinder their romance.

“I’m in love with him,” says Bobbi.

“They wanna see us fail,” she says to the camera. “I got one thing to say — you won’t.”

I hope not. Reality shows don't seem to have a great effect on relationships. May they have a blissful marriage full of joy and love. Extending the ridiculous bigotry against consanguineous relationships, which is bad enough, to relationships like this one shows just how irrational and arbitrary taboos against consensual adult relationships can be.

Read more »

Posted in: boundaries,brother-sister,family reaction,freedom to marry,love,media,siblings,stigma

Medical Marijuana Can Get You Fired

Readers of this blog know that we have tracked the medical marijuana issue through the court system over the past 3-years.  Now there is an interesting twist in the on-going debate: can an employer condition your job on being pot-free, even if you have a medical marijuana card?

The answer is "yes", courtesy of the United States Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals in the seminal case of Casias v Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

In theory, the 2008 enactment of the Michigan Medical Marijuana Act (MMMA) provides a statutory right for patients and their caregivers to cultivate and use medical marijuana.  Unfortunately, the Act is wrought with ambiguous language, resulting in befuddlement on the bench and a potentially misinformed public, many of whom believe, sincerely, that the MMMA provides more protections than it actually does.  

Joseph Casias of Battle Creek, Michigan, lost his job over his medical use of pot.  Casias worked at the local Wal-Mart, earning “Employee-of-the-Year” honors the same year the pot act received electorate endorsement.   

When hired in 2004, Casias passed a mandatory drug test as a prerequisite for employment.   In 2009, however, after injuring himself on-the-job, Mr. Casias took another drug test required by Wal-Mart corporate policy.  This time he failed the test and was fired from his job.

 

Casias, having been diagnosed with sinus cancer and an inoperable brain tumor since the age of 17, routinely used pain medications for a number of years, as prescribed by his treating oncologist.  When the MMMA was enacted, Casias obtained a valid registry card allowing him to use medical marijuana for treatment of his chronic pain. 

After his failed drug test in December 2009, Joseph showed his registry card to Wal-Mart management, explaining to his supervisor that he never used marijuana before or during work.  Wal-Mart nevertheless fired their “Employee-of-the-Year” for failing the drug test per corporate policy.   

For his part, Casias went straight to a lawyer and sued his former employer in federal court.  The case was dismissed for, “failure to state a claim”; Casias appealed the dismissal to the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals.

The Sixth Circuit affirmed the dismissal in its September 19, 2012, decision holding that Casias was both out of luck, and out of job.

Many employees recognize that “at will” employment means that a person can be fired for good cause, bad cause, or no cause at all.  Mr. Cassias, however, assumed that the medical pot law afforded him some manner of employment protection, or exception to the company policy, for his pot use.  He badly miscalculated.

The MMMA prohibits “disciplinary action by a business or occupational or professional licensing board or bureau” against a valid, registered cardholder.  The is silent, however, as to whether such protection applies to employment.

Casias, in filing his complaint against Wal-Mart for wrongful discharge in violation of public policy and the MMMA, argued that the term “business” should be interpreted as applying to private businesses, and should include employment. 

The Sixth Circuit disagreed, holding that the word “business” is a descriptive term as applied to the type of “licensing board or bureau.”  The short answer is that the Sixth Circuit does not believe that the Act provides any employment protections for registered patients; at least not as the Act is currently written. 

Of primary concern of the appeals court was that if they agreed with Casias’ interpretation of the Act, then private business would be unable to discipline employees who held valid registry cards; employee could use pot to insulate them from a variety of performance-related deficits.

 

We do see loads of litigation arising from such an interpretation.  Not to be, however, as the Sixth Circuit’s narrow application of the Act to private business preserves the decision-making actions of private employers, and leaves patients and caregivers to continue twisting in the ambiguous winds of the MMMA.

 The Sixth Circuit did insert a sliver of hope to those who would disagree with this decision, saying that their Casias decision is solely based upon how the MMMA is currently written.  The Act just does not ly address the issue presented in this case.

Perhaps this decision works well to illuminate yet another area where the MMMA requires clarification.  Perhaps the legislature should consider amending the Act to expressly include employment sanctions within its protective scope, as apparently intended by the electorate when approving the pot resolution 4-years ago.  

As with many of the cases that have arisen since the enactment of the medical pot law, the hard truth is that the scope of the protections under the Act are limited; those who find themselves embroiled in these initial “test” cases risk losing their property, employment, and liberty. 

Remember, the MMMA, as it currently stands, provides limited protections against state action, i.e. criminal prosecution.  While it may keep you out of jail, it simply cannot protect your job. 

Therefore, we here at the Law Blogger advise employees to proceed with caution. 

www.clarkstonlegal.com

info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: Joseph Casias,lawyer,medical marijuana,Michigan Medical Marijuana Act,Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals,Wal-Mart

Harvard and Incest

Students at Harvard are using the "I" word metaphorically and it is causing the "incest = rape" folks and the sex-negative types to wail and gnash their teeth. Obviously, it isn't really incest to have sex with someone in the same dorm as you... unless they also happen to be close relatives. See this opinion from Samantha Berstler at thecrimson.com...

I get it. In the idiom of current college students, “incest” has come to mean romance among hall-mates or house-mates. Kirkland House’s annual dance, IncestFest, is a catchy name designed to celebrate a saccharinely close-knit house. It’s easy to become habituated to the name, lulled into prioritizing the slang meaning of “incest” over its formal definition.

But let’s talk about incest for a minute. Actual incest.

Good idea.

But then she goes into abuse/assault of children, citing a statistic that 34.2 percent of the abused children are attacked by a family member. And here's where the problem is with calling both abuse/assault of children and consensual sex between adults "incest," and why I call the latter consanguinamory.



What's going on at Kirkland House is consensual sex between adults.

There is one point I must emphasize: the vast majority of cases of incest are not between two consensual adults.

That would depend on what is meant by "cases of incest." Are we talking therapy cases? Criminal cases? Or actual occurrences in the human population? Even one case of abuse or assault is one too many, but we have several reasons to believe that consanguinamory or consanguineous sex is not rare. Another important word in that phrase is "adults." Many instances of consanguineous sex involve siblings or other close relatives who are in their teens and close in age, but not legally adults. As long as there is no coercion or force or violence, most therapists consider this mutual exploration or experimentation, and not problematic if they are four years apart in age or less.

How many people who have enjoyable or at least not abusive mutual exploration, whether as minors or not, report it to any authority that keeps and collects records, or pollsters? Adults in consensual relationships that are still stigmatized and literally prosecuted in most (not all) states aren't going to make themselves highly visible, now are they? Therapists tend to deal with people who are troubled. Siblings who are happily living in a spousal relationship, or perhaps having recreational sex now and then, aren't exactly lining up to tell therapists about it, and somebody has to catch them and complain to police about it before it will be a criminal case, whereas with abuse/assault, there is an actual victim who may call police or may have someone else call police.

She then cites Discredited Argument #20 ...

Even if we bracket issues of age, supposedly “egalitarian” or “happy incest families” cannot exist: the power differential between father and daughter or older sibling and younger sibling is so huge that it necessarily precludes the possibility of consent.

This just does not stand up to reality. And what about twins? This doesn't apply to twins, right?

The sexy siblings on TV and the image of the oppressed pedophile are lies that distract from a silent epidemic raging throughout the world.

Who is portraying pedophiles as oppressed?!? Notice what is going on here. Sex between consenting adults is being equated to assault on children by pedophiles. That's ridiculous. An adult should be free to have sex with other consenting adults.

Could there be a better name given to the event, whether or not this is the official name? Yes. However, I couldn't let this slip by without once again clearing up myths about consanguinamory.

Read more »

Posted in: academia,consanguineous,incest,media,prejudice,stigma

Harvard and Incest

Students at Harvard are using the "I" word metaphorically and it is causing the "incest = rape" folks and the sex-negative types to wail and gnash their teeth. Obviously, it isn't really incest to have sex with someone in the same dorm as you... unless they also happen to be close relatives. See this opinion from Samantha Berstler at thecrimson.com...

I get it. In the idiom of current college students, “incest” has come to mean romance among hall-mates or house-mates. Kirkland House’s annual dance, IncestFest, is a catchy name designed to celebrate a saccharinely close-knit house. It’s easy to become habituated to the name, lulled into prioritizing the slang meaning of “incest” over its formal definition.

But let’s talk about incest for a minute. Actual incest.

Good idea.

But then she goes into abuse/assault of children, citing a statistic that 34.2 percent of the abused children are attacked by a family member. And here's where the problem is with calling both abuse/assault of children and consensual sex between adults "incest," and why I call the latter consanguinamory.



What's going on at Kirkland House is consensual sex between adults.

There is one point I must emphasize: the vast majority of cases of incest are not between two consensual adults.

That would depend on what is meant by "cases of incest." Are we talking therapy cases? Criminal cases? Or actual occurrences in the human population? Even one case of abuse or assault is one too many, but we have several reasons to believe that consanguinamory or consanguineous sex is not rare. Another important word in that phrase is "adults." Many instances of consanguineous sex involve siblings or other close relatives who are in their teens and close in age, but not legally adults. As long as there is no coercion or force or violence, most therapists consider this mutual exploration or experimentation, and not problematic if they are four years apart in age or less.

How many people who have enjoyable or at least not abusive mutual exploration, whether as minors or not, report it to any authority that keeps and collects records, or pollsters? Adults in consensual relationships that are still stigmatized and literally prosecuted in most (not all) states aren't going to make themselves highly visible, now are they? Therapists tend to deal with people who are troubled. Siblings who are happily living in a spousal relationship, or perhaps having recreational sex now and then, aren't exactly lining up to tell therapists about it, and somebody has to catch them and complain to police about it before it will be a criminal case, whereas with abuse/assault, there is an actual victim who may call police or may have someone else call police.

She then cites Discredited Argument #20 ...

Even if we bracket issues of age, supposedly “egalitarian” or “happy incest families” cannot exist: the power differential between father and daughter or older sibling and younger sibling is so huge that it necessarily precludes the possibility of consent.

This just does not stand up to reality. And what about twins? This doesn't apply to twins, right?

The sexy siblings on TV and the image of the oppressed pedophile are lies that distract from a silent epidemic raging throughout the world.

Who is portraying pedophiles as oppressed?!? Notice what is going on here. Sex between consenting adults is being equated to assault on children by pedophiles. That's ridiculous. An adult should be free to have sex with other consenting adults.

Could there be a better name given to the event, whether or not this is the official name? Yes. However, I couldn't let this slip by without once again clearing up myths about consanguinamory.

Read more »

Posted in: academia,consanguineous,incest,media,prejudice,stigma

Coming Out Day 2012

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is TODAY, Thursday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

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Posted in: allies,boundaries,coming out,consanguineous,LGBT,polyamory

Coming Out Day 2012

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is TODAY, Thursday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

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Posted in: allies,boundaries,coming out,consanguineous,LGBT,polyamory

Kissing Cousins Are Hardly a Scandal

It appears that, like so many other times through history, someone's sex life and the incest stigma are once again being used by political opponents.

We're rapidly approaching an election here in the US (actually, early voting is underway in some places), and in addition to the Presidential race and all of the Senate and House of Representative races, there are many, many other state and local offices subject to the election. It can get overwhelming and I especially feel sorry for people here who are not allowed to vote but have to endure so much noise.

An ongoing story out of Florida caught my attention. A week ago, Chris Joseph had a blog entry at browardpalmbeach.com with the headline "Marlene Ross, Boynton Beach Commissioner, Sent Nude Pictures to Cousin, Report Says."

My initial response: So what??? If an adult sends nude pictures to another adult, why is that anyone else's business, unless we're talking about criminal harassment? In addition, it should make no difference that the recipient was her cousin.

Boynton Beach Commissioner Marlene Ross reportedly sent her first cousin nude photos of herself on Facebook. This may have led to her being extorted to vote a certain way.

Wouldn't it have been better to have a headline about extortion allegations, then?

The State Attorney's Office concluded that no extortion was committed. But Ross panicking over the possibility of it reveals that she did, in fact, send some naughty pictures to her cousin.

So? I wonder what kind of sex life, if any, the people who have a problem with this have?

Joseph followed up with anther report about a website calling for her to step down...

"This is NOT about racy photos or an incestuous relationship," the web page reads.

But the page later says...

"Most recently, Ross violated common sense and nature's law by engaging in an inappropriate incestuous relationship with her first cousin, who also happens to be a convicted felon and a cocaine dealer."

What could possibly make the relationship inappropriate is if he is a convicted felon, depending on the felony. That he is her cousin does not make their relationship inappropriate.

None of this is to say I support Ross. I have no knowledge of her performance in her job. All I know about this is that it is ridiculous to criticize an adult for having a relationship with her cousin, or sending him pictures. There are many people in this country who have long, happy marriages with their first cousins, and the bigotry expressed by hateful and ignorant people needs to stop.

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Posted in: boundaries,consanguineous,cousins,Florida,incest,politicians,prejudice,stigma

GPS "House Arrest" Tether Not Available for Felony Drunk Driving Sentences

A few years back, this blog touted Oakland County's "virtual work release" program.  To alleviate chronic jail overcrowding, the Sheriff developed the program which utilizes a global positioning system to ensure that offenders are truly under "house arrest" when they complete their work day.

There is a certain class of offenders, however, that cannot take advantage of the virtual work release program, and must do their time in a physical jail cell.  The Michigan Court of Appeals' decision in People v Pennebaker takes the "house arrest" option away from sentencing judges in felony drunk driving cases.

In Pennebaker, a case originating in the Oakland County Circuit Court, the Court of Appeals held that people convicted of a felony drunk driving offense must perform a minimum of 30-days incarceration pursuant to the drunk driving statute, and that "incarceration" cannot involve "house arrest", no matter how technologically sound the GPS tether system.

 Oakland Circuit Judge Phyllis McMillen, impressed with the Oakland County Sheriff's relatively new virtual work release program, decided to utilize the tether-based monitoring system for the drunk driving punishments she was meting out.  Sounds logical to us over here at the Law Blogger.

Problem: The Oakland County Prosecutor took issue with the meaning of the word "incarceration", arguing at both Pennebaker's sentencing and on appeal that house-arrest does not cut it; felony drunk drivers must actually sit down for a minute in the county jail.  The Court of Appeals agreed, reversing Judge McMillen's sentence, and sending the case back to McMillen for re-sentencing.

In doing so, the intermediate appellate court quoted the following language from one of its earlier decisions on point:

Under no circumstances can we reasonably  conclude that confinement in one’s
home or apartment is the equivalent of confinement “in  jail.”  This is so even
where, as here, the conditions of home confinement require the person confined to
go directly to work, to return home immediately from work, and to be at home at
all times unless approval is given by  a probation officer.  Home detention does
not include the highly structured setting of a prison or jail.  One cannot remain on
the phone for extended periods, invite friends for extended visits, order a pizza,
watch television during periods of one’s own choosing, or have free access to the
refrigerator in jail.   

 We here at the Law Blogger would like to know what you think about the difference between tether-based "house arrest" and a jail sentence.  We welcome your comments.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: drunk driving,GPS tether,Judge Phyllis McMillen,Michigan Court of Appeals,Oakland Circuit Court,Oakland County Prosecutor,Operating While Intoxicated,Pennebaker

Brothers and Sisters

Almost on a weekly basis, I find something at the Kindred Spirits forum I want to quote here. Kindred Spirits is my favorite forum for discussing consanguinamory, consanguineous relationships, and consensual sex (incest) between close relatives. The moderators run a tight ship, but it's a pleasure cruise if you stick to the rules and are interested in the subject matter (or a participant.) This is a place where pleasant, friendly people get together to talk about their lives, relationships, and partners, and in doing so, they demonstrate that they are the people you meet every day. They could be your neighbors. They are not some emotionally dysfunctional hermits; they are intelligent, warm, and quite often attractive, and many of them have a love and bond with their partners for which most people strive.

It is a travesty that most of them have to hide their love... hide from those who would demand their prosecution, from those who would fire them, from those who would disown them.

As one brother wrote...

my sister and I were left alone a lot because of my parents jobs. Mom worked 2nd shift at a hospital and dad was an over-the-road trucker. From the moment my sister was born, all I ever heard was "take care of [sister]". As she got older all she ever heard was "take care of brother". Needless to say we grew up being very close. Ours was a natural transition from siblings to lovers. Cherish your relationship. Embrace it. Enjoy it! Sissy and I have NO regrets and to this day, 40 years later, we are closer than any siblings I know.

In the same discussion, a woman I've quoted on this blog before added...

Our relationship was a bit different, even though i was the older of the two of us by a year and a few months, my brother always looked out for and took care of me, so as we grew older i naturally gravitated toward him, and started to see him as more than a brother and more as the man in my life, and wanted him to see me as the woman in his life, well we were hardly a man and woman, just teens, but i wanted/needed him to look at me as a woman, his woman, and his alone, going from siblings to lovers came pretty naturally to us, with a little from me of course

Some people can't stand their siblings. Some people hate their siblings, fight with their siblings their whole lives. Other people get along on some level with their siblings. And some people have a consanguinamorous, even spousal relationship with their siblings. In so many places in the world, it is perfectly legal to hate your sibling, shun your sibling, and never see your sibling, but in many places, it is still illegal to love your sibling in the way you both want, even though you are consenting adults. We need to change that sooner rather than later. Adults should not have to hide their love for each other.

Please note: If you sign up at Kindred Spirits, read and follow the rules or they'll kick you right out.

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Posted in: brother-sister,consanguineous,love,siblings

The "Alford" Plea and the West Memphis Three

The West Memphis Three

There is a no-man's land in the criminal justice system.  This land exists between a plea hearing where an accused admits his guilt, and where serious capital counts are left on the table by the prosecutor in exchange for not having to conduct a difficult trial.

This is the land of the Alford plea.  In this rarely used procedure, the accused tenders a technical guilty plea through which he maintains his innocence while acknowledging that the prosecutor has evidence sufficient to convict him, of something...

Used following a mistrial, for example, or upon remand for a new trial, due to the always sea-changing grounds of "newly discovered evidence", the accused is prompted to accept this plea in exchange for a charge reduction, immediate release from incarceration, or dismissal of some of the more serious among an array of charges.  

The Alford plea received media attention last year upon the release of the notorious "West Memphis Three" from Arkansas prisons after serving 18-years of their capital sentences for the murders of three young boys in Arkansas in 1993.  One of the defendants, Damien Echols, formerly on Death Row, published his memoir, Life After Death, about his Job-like life, and is now the subject of a new documentary, West of Memphis, scheduled for wide release on Christmas Day.

The Alford plea was accepted by each of the West Memphis Three thus, each defendant pled guilty while maintaining their innocence relative to the grisly murders; the three were released for time served, but not vindicated.

The plea was fashioned by the United States Supreme Court in the case of North Carolina v Alford, decided by the Court in 1970.  In that case, the accused maintained his innocence in the face of first degree murder charges largely based on circumstantial, but nevertheless damaging, evidence.  Rather than face the death penalty, Alford agreed to plead guilty to second degree murder; the trial court accepted the plea, even without Alford's confession of guilt.

As a general rule, a court will not accept a guilty plea without an actual confession of guilt. SCOTUS fashioned the Alford plea as a flexible compromise to resolve situations where:

[f]aced with “grim alternatives,” the defendant's best choice of action may be to plead guilty to the crime, and the courts must accept the defendant's choice made in his own interests.  [Justice Byron White]

In the case of the West Memphis Three, both newly discovered evidence and DNA testing aided the Defendants' cause; a cause celebre that picked-up steam through early-era social media, drawing the attention of celebrities such as Johnny Dep, and rock stars like Eddie Vedder, Metallica, Slash, and the demigod, Henry Rollins.

Reasonable doubt seeped into the West Memphis case throughout the appeal process.  There was a huge evidentiary chasm wherein the prosecutor's theory -that the defendants ritually slaughtered three young boys right where the corpses were discovered on the banks of a creek that ran through the Robin Hood Hills- fell apart in the long-run due to a complete absence of blood or other physical evidence tying any of the Defendants to the murders.

Experts that examined the evidence post-trial opined that the cuts on the bodies were more consistent with animal predation [turtles] than with the serrated knife admitted into evidence at the trial.  Mr. Echols' trial, however, was all about Satanic rituals rather than the markings of a common swamp predator.

Looking back nearly 20-years later, there is a consensus among legal professionals that the police investigation was botched, and the court-appointed criminal defense lawyers for the defendants were ineffective, ignoring alibi witnesses and failing to really develop available defenses.

The West Memphis Three were fortunate to secure real legal counsel on appeal.  Appellate counsel had the case heading back to the trial court.

Rather than resurrect the rumored Satanic rituals and the local trailer park skater-trash culture from the mid-1990s that tore-out the soul of West Memphis, the prosecution agreed to accept the Alford pleas in exchange for a sentence of time served.  Given that the long-healed scars of the families of the murdered boys now have been ripped open, it is difficult to imagine the released convicts being able to sleep comfortably with both eyes closed.

We here at the Law Blogger have observed sentencing hearings where the accused feel compelled to admit to things that are not true in order to secure a guaranteed [i.e. more lenient] result.  The Alford plea affords the court sufficient flexibility to accept the compromise plea without an admission of guilt.

Assuming the West Memphis Three were telling the truth all along -that they had nothing to do with the sadistic murders- the real horror of the criminal justice system is that three innocent teenagers can do 54 combined penitentiary years, while a serial murderer lurks among the community of unsuspecting, God-fearing Arkansans, still at large.

www.clarkstonlegal.com
info@clarkstonlegal.com

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Posted in: criminal defense lawyer,Damien Echols,Eddie Vedder,Henry Rollins,Life After Death,North Carolina v Alford,West Memphis Three,West of Memphis

Consanguineous Marriages Dissed on Breaking Amish

At examiner.com, Nannette Richford reports on the latest episode of "Breaking Amish" on TLC...

Rebecca commented about the prevalence of incest in the Amish community. When questioned, she explained that she was talking about marrying first and second cousins, supposedly a common practice in her community.

There are some countries and a little over half of US states where the bigotry against marriage equality extends to preventing heterosexual first cousins from marrying, but there are many places where heterosexual marriage between first cousins is legal and common. There are a few places in the US where same-gender first cousins can marry. I'm not aware of any place where second cousins (if they are heterosexual) are denied marriage. Smearing marriages between first cousins and between second cousins is ignorant.

The article notes...

In light of the alleged evidence that appears to support that the show “Breaking Amish” is fake, viewers must weigh the truth of any statements made by the cast, including their accounts of the sexual lives of the Amish.

Everything on television, including "reality" shows, should not be simply assumed to be true. Participants on shows may say things that aren't true, or embellish. It is something to keep in mind about television in general.


.

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Posted in: consanguineous,cousins,freedom to marry,incest,media,prejudice

An Example of How Anti-Equality Hurts Bystanders

An advice column in Kenya, written by Phlip Kitoto, printed several letters, leading off with this one...

Hi Philip,

My wife is secretive and reserved. We got married three years ago. We have no children but she has had three miscarriages. When we were in college, my wife’s older brother used to send her love messages almost every night and this caused a lot of conflict between us.

She said her brother only wanted to ruin our relationship. The trend continued until I reported the issue to their mother, other brothers, and sister, after which he changed to late night calls.

What is surprising is that four years ago, my wife had a child with the brother who used to send her romantic messages. She only told me about the child in March of this year, but claimed that the boy’s father had died shortly after he was born

What should I do because her niece, who lives with us, has confirmed to me that the boy was fathered by my wife’s brother? The child is currently living with us and I am very stressed.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but tf the letter-writer had a problem with how his wife-to-be was handling the situation with her brother, the letter-writer should have broken it off with her, rather than complaining to everyone else in the family. That being said, it appears the woman involved married the letter-writer under false pretenses. Since others knew, the truth as bound to come out. Either the relationship between brother and sister was over, or it continues.

If it was over, she should have explained that and said that her brother was having a difficult time moving on. The letter-writer could either accept her past or move on. If he couldn't accept her past, it would be better if he did move on so that she could find someone who could accept her.

If it continues, as implied by the ongoing secrecy, the ideal thing would be to explain that it was still going on, and the letter-writer could have either accepted that he was going to be legally married to a woman whose heart would first belong to someone else, or moved on.

The problem is, the circumstances are not ideal. People face discrimination, bullying, even prosecution for being in consanguinamorous relationships. As a result, most people keep those relationships a secret from everyone or all but a handful of people, and sometimes other people are unknowingly used as "beards," as could be happening to this letter-writer. This also still happens with gays and lesbians living in places where they can't be open about their sexual orientation. If we simply supported the rights of an adult, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults, everyone would be better off.

So, while she married under false pretenses one way or another, I do not judge her because ridiculous prejudices and bigotries put her in a very difficult position.

Thankfully, the columnist did not tell the letter-writer to rat them out to law enforcement.

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Posted in: Africa,boundaries,brother-sister,cheating,children,consanguineous,family reaction,Kenya,lack of equality harms,siblings