A Mixed Marriage

Emily Daniel has a blog called "I like Chocolate, He Likes Vanilla." It is the "trials and tribulations of a polyamorous kinky lady happily married to a monogamous vanilla man, while occasionally writing erotica." In this entry, she wrote about her personal polyamory manifesto.

The point of being poly is, for me, freedom to be able to follow my heart and, to an extent, explore my kinks in a safe space. It is not about deliberately finding sexual partners or deliberately looking for someone else, but about being able to embrace possibilities and be myself.

She lists these ground rules...

Be honest to yourself

Be honest to everyone involved

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

My husband and I will continue to live together and share our love, lives, and finances

Going out with others will be planned and scheduled

I don't want to know the details of a sexual experience, but I would want to know if one occurred, I would give the same respect

Practice safer sex

If a relationship ends it is not to be because it has been “vetoed.” If a relationship ends it should be because the relationship has run its natural course

Try to meet the “partner/s” of my partner/s

Keep everyone informed, discuss, and communicate changes in relationship situations and feelings

Be aware of and cautious of New Relationship Energy, do not make hasty judgments based on it

Not bad at all.

These kinds of "mixed" marriages can work if the spouses agree that it is OK for their spouse do be different than them, to have different personal boundaries, different needs, different wants, different interests, etc. Readers, have you been in a "mixed" relationship?

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Emily Daniel has a blog called "I like Chocolate, He Likes Vanilla." It is the "trials and tribulations of a polyamorous kinky lady happily married to a monogamous vanilla man, while occasionally writing erotica." In this entry, she wrote about her personal polyamory manifesto.

The point of being poly is, for me, freedom to be able to follow my heart and, to an extent, explore my kinks in a safe space. It is not about deliberately finding sexual partners or deliberately looking for someone else, but about being able to embrace possibilities and be myself.

She lists these ground rules...

Be honest to yourself

Be honest to everyone involved

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

My husband and I will continue to live together and share our love, lives, and finances

Going out with others will be planned and scheduled

I don't want to know the details of a sexual experience, but I would want to know if one occurred, I would give the same respect

Practice safer sex

If a relationship ends it is not to be because it has been “vetoed.” If a relationship ends it should be because the relationship has run its natural course

Try to meet the “partner/s” of my partner/s

Keep everyone informed, discuss, and communicate changes in relationship situations and feelings

Be aware of and cautious of New Relationship Energy, do not make hasty judgments based on it

Not bad at all.

These kinds of "mixed" marriages can work if the spouses agree that it is OK for their spouse do be different than them, to have different personal boundaries, different needs, different wants, different interests, etc. Readers, have you been in a "mixed" relationship?

Posted in: boundaries,love,polyamory